RAGDOLL Posted January 4, 2007 Posted January 4, 2007 Please help me. My husband of 10 years left me without a warning. We were so happy and didn't have any problems at all. We even celebrated New Year's eve together. We were so happy that night. We got drunk and he was extra sweet to me that night. Jan. 1st, we spent the whole day in our room, just hugging and kissing. He works nightshift so that night he had to go to work. We even had dinner together before he left for work and then he kissed and hugged me and told me how much he loved me. When he's at work, we usually text each other. So we were just sending messages to each other when I was in bed. That night I couldn't sleep, I don't know why. So the whole night, we were just texting each other. I probably fell asleep at 4:30am. Then woke up again at 6am. He gets out of work at 6 so I sent him a message saying I was awake already. We were supposed to meet at my mom's that day for her birthday. He asked me what time I was going to get ready and that to text him when I'm on my way so he could meet me there. By 6:45, I told him I was ready and on my way to mom's and I said I would pick him up from work. He said, "OK, I'll meet you downstairs. Let me know when you're there." 7:15, I told him I was near the place. Then he sent this message, "I'M NOT IN THE OFFICE SO JUST GO TO YOUR MOM'S. WE WILL NEVER BE HAPPY AGAIN AFTER THIS SO JUST FORGET ABOUT ME. I'M NOT COMING BACK. PLEASE TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF AND REMEMBER THAT I WILL NEVER FORGET YOU. I'M SORRY FOR EVERYTHING." I was so shocked. We never had a fight or anything. I called him up right away but his phone was off. I called his work and talked to his Boss and she told me that my husband has an affair with a workmate and that they didn't know he's married. My heart crushed because I trusted him so much. 10 years and he never had an affair with anyone. He was always at my side. He was my bestfriend. Everyone thought we were an ideal couple. Everyone told me I'm lucky for having a man like him. Please help me. I haven't heard from him until now. Why is this happening. He left all his things, he didn't bring anything. I can't sleep and eat. I want to die. I miss him so much. I don't know where to find him. What am I going to do? :( :( :(
Ladyjane14 Posted January 4, 2007 Posted January 4, 2007 If you can't verify that your husband is physically safe and sound within 24 hours of his last known whereabouts... I think I'd report him as a missing person if I were you. A text message could have been sent by anyone. I'm sorry if that sounds paranoid. But it's just really weird that he didn't speak with you and that you had NO indications that anything was amiss. It's also strange that he had immediate plans with you and that he left all his belongings like that.
Author RAGDOLL Posted January 4, 2007 Author Posted January 4, 2007 I am sure it was from him because I contacted his Boss and she was shocked when I told her I was looking for my husband. They didn't know he's married. His Boss told me about his affair with a woman from work. She contacted the girl and my husband was with her. My husband told her that he didn't want to be with my anymore. He even denied that we're married. He said I was just his live-in partner. Why would someone do that? And I thought he was my bestfriend.
Ladyjane14 Posted January 4, 2007 Posted January 4, 2007 But you still haven't spoken to him? If that's the case, call the boss back tomorrow when you think he's going to be there, and tell her that if you don't hear from him within the next hour you'll have no choice but to report him as missing. Even if she sounds nice... you only have her word to go on. In the meantime... change all the locks on your doors so he can't come in and take his junk. You'd do well to withdraw your money out of any joint accounts and secure your perimeter. When he calls, and he will.... do NOT cry or plead with him. Although you have my permission to call him an a*hole if you like (right after you verify that he is indeed safe and sound). Keep it brief, and make him come to YOU in order to give his weak-ass explanations.
Gunny376 Posted January 4, 2007 Posted January 4, 2007 But you still haven't spoken to him? If that's the case, call the boss back tomorrow when you think he's going to be there, and tell her that if you don't hear from him within the next hour you'll have no choice but to report him as missing. Even if she sounds nice... you only have her word to go on. In the meantime... change all the locks on your doors so he can't come in and take his junk. You'd do well to withdraw your money out of any joint accounts and secure your perimeter. When he calls, and he will.... do NOT cry or plead with him. Although you have my permission to call him an a*hole if you like (right after you verify that he is indeed safe and sound). Keep it brief, and make him come to YOU in order to give his weak-ass explanations. If you've got any of wits about you, after all of this has gone down ~ you'll follow this advice LJ has given! Understand this and understand it well ~ NO AMOUNT OF BEGGING, PLEADING, CRYING, WHINNING, BOO-HOOING IS GOING TO MOTIVATE HIM TO COME BACK! His head is in a fog ~ the fog of infatuation with the other woman. You in his mind are a non-person. Immediate steps you must take "stat" (medical term meaning ten minutes ago) Change the locks on the door Clean out any and all cash and credit accounts Change the names on any cash, checking, credit accounts. Close charge accounts Contact a lawyer for an intital interview to find out what your rights are. Goggle "DivorceNet" and "DivorceBusting" Immediately look in to Marriagebuilders and develop Plan A, and a good solid Plan B! Keep posting ~ DAILY!
anna13 Posted January 4, 2007 Posted January 4, 2007 But you still haven't spoken to him? If that's the case, call the boss back tomorrow when you think he's going to be there, and tell her that if you don't hear from him within the next hour you'll have no choice but to report him as missing. Even if she sounds nice... you only have her word to go on. In the meantime... change all the locks on your doors so he can't come in and take his junk. You'd do well to withdraw your money out of any joint accounts and secure your perimeter. When he calls, and he will.... do NOT cry or plead with him. Although you have my permission to call him an a*hole if you like (right after you verify that he is indeed safe and sound). Keep it brief, and make him come to YOU in order to give his weak-ass explanations. great advice , if this guy is in trouble for some reason it would be good to get the athorities in on it , but if he is just being a jerk , well locking him out will make it harder for him to just easily toss you aside. do you have children together?
Author RAGDOLL Posted January 4, 2007 Author Posted January 4, 2007 ^ No, we don't have children. And I live in the Philippines where there is no DIVORCE. I miss my husband to death. :(
stillafool Posted January 4, 2007 Posted January 4, 2007 Wow, I feel so sorry for you. You must be going through incredible pain. It sounds like he was just too "chicken ****" to tell you to your face that he had someone else. You can report him as missing but I think we both know he is not, especially after you talked to his boss. You can call his job and make him talk to you but what good will that do except confirm what he has already told you. You can kill him with kindness and tell him it's okay for him to pick up his belongings. I don't know that I could be that kind considering how he did you. No, I would change all the locks and try to move on with my life.
anna13 Posted January 5, 2007 Posted January 5, 2007 ^ No, we don't have children. And I live in the Philippines where there is no DIVORCE. I miss my husband to death. :( what do you mean exactly by there is no divorse?
Author RAGDOLL Posted January 5, 2007 Author Posted January 5, 2007 ^ When you marry someone, you're married to that person FOREVER. You cannot marry another person.
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