koll12 Posted January 3, 2007 Posted January 3, 2007 I've had a girlfriend for the last 3 years, which has been great but we do get into fights,I really do care about her and I would anything for her but we fight over the stupidest things anyways 2 weeks ago I found out she kissed another guy I sat down with her and talked to her about, told her I couldn't believe she would do that to me,anyways we made up and everything was fine a week laterwe went to christmas and it was great,on christmas day we leave and our way to her family thing we get in another stupid fight on the way when we get to house the fight escalades into a bigger fight, the next day she tells me she needs her space,well I keep talking to her all way up to wensday 12/28 and we're getting along,then she tells me she needs her space and time to think about our relationship I asked her if the break was for the other guy and she tells me no, I don't talk to her for 2 days, that night 2 days later I walk into a local bar and there she is with him ( I was like WTF) I pulled her aside and told her cared about her so much and I just wanted to be with her and I was willing to do what ever it took to fix our problems,anyways I talked to her for 30 minutes and that dude kept coming back and checking on her I was so pissed, She told me I need my space right now and thats all you can give me I walked out of the bar very upset, I tried calling her later that night no answer. I called the next day and she finally answered (I found out she had stayed the night at that guys house I got upset and screamed at her and told I cared about her and she cared about me she would give me another chance and not be trying to jump into another relationship, alls she told me was give me my space, I tryed alling a couple other times that day no answer,sunday night rolls around (new years) I saw her in the same bar I saw her when I first saw her with that guy, I didn't talk to her, later that night I got piss ass drunk tryed calling her no answer, nothing. Tried calling new years day finally answered at 7:00 and admitted to staying at that guys house again , I told I would do anything to get back together , she told me the same thing need my space, Talked to her on tuesday bought her 1/2 dozen roses and finally convinced her to let me see her,got up there begged for a another chance and still the same thing tells me she want to see if there is anything there with this guy she tells me he being really nice to her and I said yeah of course he being nice he probally wants to **** u if he hasn't all ready (he just telling her what she wants to here) , how can she honestly be with someone for 3 years and not want to try to fix things(I am so upset and I feel like I got flushed down the toilet) I don't know what to do please help me with some suggestions:confused:
marc from MI Posted January 4, 2007 Posted January 4, 2007 what you need to do , is leave her to do what she wants. I was with a girl for 5 years and walked out because i was done, bored, unattracted, all of the above. sometimes people just fall out of love. It happens, she obviously doesnt care because she's with another guy now. that should tell you everything you need to know about her.
MiCorozonPerdidoEnTi Posted January 8, 2007 Posted January 8, 2007 How many times in your post did you mention that she spent nights at the other guys house? Buddy, that's your sign right there. Let the cheating, back stabbing, useless bitch go to hell. If she's the type of girl who'd walk away from a relationship at the first sign of trouble, can you imagine what she'd be like when you were married and had children? Damn! You don't deserve to be treated like that. You can take comfort in one thing though. That new guy she's with doesn't know a thing about her true nature. He's going to piss away a few years of his life and a few thousand dollars on her just so she can cheat on him too. You'd be doing yourself a favour by letting this one go. Let that fish swim away. Maybe she'll get caught and eaten by a Grizzly bear!
Zaira Posted January 8, 2007 Posted January 8, 2007 Let go. Move on. If you don't, you'll just end up making a fool of yourself. Seems to me like you're the only one that's hurting, and you need to take to pull yourself together and realise you deserve better than that. There are plenty of other fish in the sea.
D-Lish Posted January 8, 2007 Posted January 8, 2007 She keeps asking for space, and you can't ignore that request. It's going to push her further away if you keep pressuring her. Do what she is asking and let her be for now. You have to ask yourself if you could forgive the cheating. Could you take her back after that?
MOMMIE Posted January 8, 2007 Posted January 8, 2007 I really hate it for you....I know it hurts but you've come to the right place....LS'ers are sure to give you the support you need, and some good advise as well.....I just gotta say that your ex sounds very very uncaring...were you even expecting a break-up, or was this just out of the blue? Hang it there.....
CaliGuy Posted January 8, 2007 Posted January 8, 2007 Unfortunately it was over for you the second she said she needed space. Then when you said "I will do whatever "I" need to do to fix the relationship" well bud, it takes two to make a relationship work and she didn't want to fix her end. It was defintitely over when you told her that because you became clingy with her. I know how you feel. Been there myself once in my life. Not a great position to be in. But if you have any shred of dignity left, give her the space she wants, for good. She's already sleeping with this guy (uhhh, yeah, she just slept over there was no hanky-panky ). Sorry to be harsh here but really, she had been trying to pull away from you for some time. I am sure the signs were there. We tend to ignore them and whatnot, but still, they are there. If you love and respect yourself you'll invest the time worrying about you and not her.
lovelorcet Posted January 8, 2007 Posted January 8, 2007 Right on the money Caliguy... Good to see you around here more often again...
MOMMIE Posted January 8, 2007 Posted January 8, 2007 Cali, have you considered charging for your services:) (counseling services that is) ....I think your comments to Koll are right on the money....You're a nice guy....
OD3 Posted January 8, 2007 Posted January 8, 2007 Ive been through a very similar thing. And it absolutely destoryed me and made me feel like I was not good enough. This is not the case though. Yes, she cheated on your and ran off with someone else. But its not because he was "better", it was because he was "different". Sometimes ppl just grow apart and that special feeling is no longer there. When that happens in a relationship, some people panick about it and try and find it elsewhere as its the easiest thing to do. Its not your fault and you need to understand that. Do you want someone who cheats to be the mother of your children one day? Thats what helped me. I still hurt a lot from my ex cheating on me but I know that I didnt deserve it and that maybe it was for the best. Rather now that 5 years down the line when we have kids. It does take a lot of time to get over, but I know everday it gets a little easier. And eventually, you wont give a f**k about her any more. I made the mistake of looking for a get-over-the-ex girlfriend and it doesnt work. You will be incapable of loving another woman for a long time. I did this and it helped me a lot: I wrote down on a piece of paper all the things I loved about myself, and that others loved about me. I read this sheet once every night before I go to sleep and give myself a pat on the back for being a really good person, who has many friends and whom people love. It does help. Even stops you from having such bad dreams that night, or it did for me at least. Ive been there and am still going through it myself, but im starting to see the light at the end now, where as a few weeks ago, I was just shrouded in total darkness. A heartbreak is a natural thing for a human being to go through, and it makes you stronger and a better, more humble person in the end. Guys who have been heartbroken in the past are so much more attractive to girls anyways . Shows we have one. Stick it through mate, and if you have no one to talk to, do what I did, go to your doctor and ask if you can see a councillor, its nothing to be ashamed about, just someone with some good advice and that can help you a bit. I hope that helps ! E
Guest Posted January 8, 2007 Posted January 8, 2007 I must say this looks like a good forum with good advice, I am going through something similar right now after 2 years. She seems ok with it all to the point where she is spending time with other guys, I dont get it why am I hurting and she`s ok but from reading your comments the best thing is to let her go and save some dignity.
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