kandi Posted January 3, 2007 Posted January 3, 2007 I have been on this post since sept 06. I will update this but also before I do I will summarize this. Me and my partner met and well I fell in love. We lived together quickly after he got out of a relationship 4 yrs. It was great in the begining. He had a great job and a house. I was happy. I was learning what it was like to be like a wife. Taking care of a house and cooking etc. well things started getting messy about 6 months into our relationship. My insecuritites and him not helping matters. He drank alot and was on prescription pills alot. Also I soon realized he abused more than that. He was on coke and powder herion on and off. I accepted this because I was inlove. Soon he started communication with his ex again. For all I knew he may have never stopped talking to her. So arguements broke out more and more and he became distant from me. Sleeping on couch and stuff like that. I started thinking mabey because me argueing pushed him away. He kicked me out once and let me back in. We never sat down to communicate our problems. In the end his ex started coming around more now that he kicked me out again. Now all this grew to anger on his part and me begging him back. I would do anything to get him back. I wanted to reconcile and work things out. She soon started answereing his phone when I called and she was always there. I asked him if he was back with her he said that is none of your business. So here I go trying to beg him back. I would give him money gifts etc. I know that I was showing how desperate I was. Soon. It got ugly. He started saying we will never get back and I was stubborn about it. I started reacting to my anger like he did. He and his ex would curse me out on the phone. He spent christmas with her when he said he was going to him mothers. Anyways. He finally ticked me off so bad I emailed him and called him out. I exposed all his dirty stuff on his business email. From hi narcotic use to his lies and abuse towards me. Yes he did hit me and I soon started defending myself thats when things got ugly. So now I may be getting a restraining order on me I don't know. After all this I cried and told myself somoene can really go off when they get hurt. Love can ruin a person for a while. I hate what I did. It hurts to know he lied to me about his ex and used me as a rebound. It hurts to know I tried to give my all and all he can tell me in the end is I NEVER LOVED YOU. he told me this and I just broke up all over again. How can someone pretend to love you. Then again I think back and not once did he ever hold me and ask how my day was. I know it makes no since to why I love a person like this. I guess we all have faults. after all the pain and hurt My love is slowly fading for what he put me through. what hurts the most is i never got closure. All he gave me was a slap in the face by getting back to his ex and never anything sweet like take care or I wish you well. I am moving on now. I am thankful that the lord got me away from him. I would have kept on with him unless these things did not happen. I did not want to let go of him. Now we ended on a bad note. A note that I wanted it to end good as friends. He denied my friendship. That hurt also. I guess to me i was just something temperary. LOve hurts sometimes. But i pray that somoene will come along for me. I pray that everyone gets through their hard times. Is there anyone else on here who ended on a bad note with ex and does not talk anymore. I hope I am not the only one. I want everyone to know I FELL IN LOVE WITH THIS PERSON. I really did. It hurts me to know we ended it so ugly. I hope the lord forgives me. I wish him well with his ex who is also on drugs. I guess I not only loved him I wanted to save him after I found out about his habits. But I guess we can't save a alchoholic either. thanks for listening everyone
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