Guest Posted January 3, 2007 Posted January 3, 2007 I am very confused about a dating situation I am in, considering I never really dated in my life and only had guys that were friends turn into boyfriends...I feel this is a strange situation for me. I will try to make this as short and compact as possible, I am lost as to what is happening here. Is he interested or no longer? So the story goes... So, I was contacted by this guy on myspace due to similar musical interests about a month ago...a little message from him turned into us writing long winded messages back and forth, than a chance to meet in person by way of a concert being played by a band we both liked at a local venue. Surprisingly, at the concert I did spot him (recognized him from photo on myspace) and approached him. It was awkward, and thank god I had a friend with me to pad the impact, but so we met, talked just a little, and as I was getting ready to leave, he asked for my phone number, which I wasn't expecting becuz we already were writing one another. But of course I was flattered...so I gave it to him. And he texted me that night. I was impressed and giddy. We kept writing messages on myspace, and soon planned to meet up to go out just the two of us. So we did, and it was really fun. Our sense of humour is similar and I liked his wit and personality. Basically, we began seeing eachother almost every night for a week, enjoying each night out...having a good time, and definitely experiencing a chemistry... On our 3rd date, he gave me a cd (this was right before Christmas) that he had made, along with 2 books of his to borrow, that he told me he wanted me to read...I gave him a cd, and that was our cute little christmas present exchange. Well the following night, our fourth date or so...I kissed him...and it sorta turned into a make out session (never going further than kissing)...and after he dropped me off, I felt weird. Like I had taken things too far possibly. I was afraid he wouldn't be interested anymore and that it was too soon, but to my surprise he still called the next day and wanted to see me. I agreed and that night, he came over to my house, met my mom and sister, and we watched a movie in my room...than afterwards began talking. (We live in MIch) and he started saying how as soon as he can move somewhere warmer he will be out of Mich...and so then he asked me if I would be moving back to Chicago (I had lived there going to school and he knew about that) and I hated that he asked me that, becuz I am planning on moving back, and felt I had to tell him...and so I said "yes I was" so then he asked when...and I told him a couple months was when I would be moving back. Well the rest of that night was cute, we kinda fell asleep for awhile together, but then he had to go, and when he left, he wished me a Merry Christmas...and gave me just a simple kiss goodbye. I just felt like he didn't like me anymore at that point. Well, there was one day before Christmas eve and then Christmas, then nearly a week went by before he told me we should see eachother again (during this time, although I really wanted to see him, I never initiated getting together again, feeling like weird about it all)... and (although we were still writing messages back and forth on myspace throughout the week, he seemed distant, although he is from England and didn't have family here for the holiday, telling me he felt antisocial and stuff, and thats why he wasn't into writing as much) but I still felt like something changed ever since that last night I saw him... We hung out this past Friday...and it was fun again...I worried he was no longer interested...although that didn't seem to be the case...we still flirted and enjoyed our little conversations...and kissed again...he at one point asked me what I was doing on new yrs...and becuz I was afraid he wouldn't want to celebrate with me (just this weird feeling I had) I told him I was going to a party and didn't ask him what he was doing...so when he droppe dme off he wished me a happy new yr. and I really felt like he was uninterested. I mean, dont you want to celebrate new yrs with the person you like??? I was confused, wished him a happy new yr. So the next day he writes me on myspace, asking me if I will return the message before the new yr. and decide to text him for the first time (it was new yrs eve early on in the evening) telling him he is invited out with me, if his plans are still flexible...well I never heard back from him, and only after calling him at like 3 am on new yrs...and him telling me that the reason he didn't respond was becuz at the time I texted everyone from England had as well and things were crazy!??? I mean, I was really hurt. It seemed chaotic when I called him and he asked if he could call back. Well he did, but not till an hour or so later, I never picked up. He left a voicemail (which I only half listened to cuz he sounded really drunk) and then called yesterday and left a text message (on new yrs day)....and wrote me on myspace...but I have not read the message. I feel weird about him now. I don't want someone d*cking me around. I'm not sure what happened or what is going on here. I asked a very old ex who I am now friends with what he thought, and he thought I was ridiculous for not recognizing that only after I told this guy I was moving back to Chicago was there a problem...that this guy doesn't want to put himself out there if thats the case...though I feel like I did or said something else. I mean, he was the one pursuing, asking me to hang out, what I was doing, then it was suddenly like, he was distant...and weird and writing only short messages on myspace cuz he was tired (when he had plenty of time to write) one mroe thing, I forgot to mention that his work schedule just changed around the same time I started to feel weird...any correlation do you think? Well, if you have read all of this, thank you! I really would like some advice or two cents...really what do you think gives? is he just a dr. jekyll mr. hyde case or not interested, or just not wanting to commit to someone who is moving? Well thank you.
curly Posted January 3, 2007 Posted January 3, 2007 is going on here.... The guy (and it sounds like you're a bit young... teens or twenties?) is reacting to you. He asked what you were doing for New Year's and you said you had plans. Fine. So why would he ask you to break plans to be with him? That makes no sense. And then you invite him later, hours before going out... seems a bit rude. Why didn't you extend the invitation immediately? I would be suspicious if I were him. And you just told him that you're planning to move soon. And he's planning to move to a warmer climate. He may be into you but you're becoming geographically unattractive. You're reading way too much into this relationship. Are you expecting him to profess his undying love in the 4th date? If he did, you would be writing something totally different here - like how crazy this guy is. You need to just chill out and date. Don't analyze every move. However, I would never tell you to ignore your instincts. If you're feeling weird vibes, then just let it be. And if he continues to contact you and ask you out and you still feel weird vibes, talk to him. Don't be embarrassed to get your feelings out. Good luck and Happy New Year.
Genji Posted January 3, 2007 Posted January 3, 2007 is going on here.... The guy (and it sounds like you're a bit young... teens or twenties?) is reacting to you. He asked what you were doing for New Year's and you said you had plans. Fine. So why would he ask you to break plans to be with him? That makes no sense. And then you invite him later, hours before going out... seems a bit rude. Why didn't you extend the invitation immediately? I would be suspicious if I were him. And you just told him that you're planning to move soon. And he's planning to move to a warmer climate. He may be into you but you're becoming geographically unattractive. You're reading way too much into this relationship. Are you expecting him to profess his undying love in the 4th date? If he did, you would be writing something totally different here - like how crazy this guy is. You need to just chill out and date. Don't analyze every move. However, I would never tell you to ignore your instincts. If you're feeling weird vibes, then just let it be. And if he continues to contact you and ask you out and you still feel weird vibes, talk to him. Don't be embarrassed to get your feelings out. Good luck and Happy New Year. I couldn't of said it any better. Listen to Curly's advice, she knows exactly what she's talking about.
Guest Posted January 4, 2007 Posted January 4, 2007 thank you for an objctive opinion here. I am in my mid twenties, but the thing is I've never dated really, always just was very good friends with a guy and then feelings developed and was always pursued...it was just a given for me. I'm not used to the jumping back and forth involved in dating...so the whole thing leaves me clueless, I'm not sure what is normal or not... The last time he contacted me was new yrs day, with the voicemail, text and the myspace message, listened to and read all, and he seemed liked he didn't realize there was a big deal about...so although I was hurt, its not a big deal...and so just last night I finally wrote just a little thing back to him on myspace...and now who knows... I am moving back to Chicago anyway, I'm not really sure what I ever thought this would be anyway in the first place...?!is going on here.... The guy (and it sounds like you're a bit young... teens or twenties?) is reacting to you. He asked what you were doing for New Year's and you said you had plans. Fine. So why would he ask you to break plans to be with him? That makes no sense. And then you invite him later, hours before going out... seems a bit rude. Why didn't you extend the invitation immediately? I would be suspicious if I were him. And you just told him that you're planning to move soon. And he's planning to move to a warmer climate. He may be into you but you're becoming geographically unattractive. You're reading way too much into this relationship. Are you expecting him to profess his undying love in the 4th date? If he did, you would be writing something totally different here - like how crazy this guy is. You need to just chill out and date. Don't analyze every move. However, I would never tell you to ignore your instincts. If you're feeling weird vibes, then just let it be. And if he continues to contact you and ask you out and you still feel weird vibes, talk to him. Don't be embarrassed to get your feelings out. Good luck and Happy New Year.
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