Okeydokey Posted January 3, 2007 Posted January 3, 2007 Since all of us obviously are internet addicts this is probably not the best community to poll,... BUT here goes... Do you guys google (msypace, friendster, facebook whatever is your fancy) the people that you have gone on a date with or that you plan to go on a date with? Do you think about that when you make your OWN profile on a site like myspace? After all, most of us make our profiles for our friends who already know and love us... Also, how big of a role does a date's on-line profile play in your impression of them? (eg. what if you find out something that you find unpleasant: eg. they swear? or that they are bi? or that they have different political views from your own? etc) But these days our on-line profiles are sort of becoming an integral part of (at least my) first impressions of other people. By the by, I know that it is important to keep in mind that employers look at myspace etc. so I think most of us act accordingly, but I'm asking, should we also be keeping in mind that our dates may be forming impressions about us based on our profiles?
CaliGuy Posted January 3, 2007 Posted January 3, 2007 I admit, I have done it. I really want to know who I am dealing with. If I find they have a ton of profiles out there, I'm gone
Author Okeydokey Posted January 3, 2007 Author Posted January 3, 2007 How much is a ton? I have 2. Not including this one (but obviously no one would find this one ... haha). I didn't know that there are enough websites out there for someone to have a ton of profiles. lol. But that's interesting. =)
CaliGuy Posted January 3, 2007 Posted January 3, 2007 I would consider being on multiple sights a red flag. Definitely on something like AFF or the like. Just not my cup'o'tea.
eternalblue Posted January 3, 2007 Posted January 3, 2007 Yes, I've searched online about the people I've dated. I see nothing wrong with that, I just want to know more about what I'm getting myself into. When I create a page, I don't think about what other potential dates might find, otherwise I couldn't be myself.
blind_otter Posted January 3, 2007 Posted January 3, 2007 The only search of dates I've ever done is a search of the department of corrections website.
tanbark813 Posted January 3, 2007 Posted January 3, 2007 I always Google prospective new partners. My biggest turn-off when it comes to profiles is actually whether or not they can write without making grammar and spelling mistakes all over the place. I can't stand stupid girls.
guin_girl Posted January 3, 2007 Posted January 3, 2007 Yes, I have done background checks on people. Ever since I have caught them in HUGE lies... like not telling me they had been married when they were... I did a check on this current guy and then asked him about what I found. He wasn't upset at all about it, he thought it was actually pretty smart of me and it opened up a dialog he wasn't sure he wanted to have with me. (Embarrassed of his DUI - although in the mandatory classes, most guys in there were from drowning their sorrows.) I also put limited information on any public sites, like MySpace... however I "whore out" my kitty all the time... LOL
Art_Critic Posted January 3, 2007 Posted January 3, 2007 Prospective employees get background checks and personality profiles and of course googled.. if they have a myspace page or facebook that also gets looked at.. The info age we live in.. I have thought about the whole personality profile thing.. My gf has seen my personality profile that I took as part of the company setup.. I have always felt it was right on even though it gives out some of my bad traits.. Everybody that works here has taken them and it is a part of the interview process.. But googling a date I wouldn't do until maybe we were dating more than a few dates.. and background check a gf.. no way.. how untrusting
guin_girl Posted January 3, 2007 Posted January 3, 2007 But googling a date I wouldn't do until maybe we were dating more than a few dates.. and background check a gf.. no way.. how untrusting AC, I understand you point of view and can see how you would feel untrusted. But if you had been in an abusive relationship or have been involved in such an unbelievable lie that was public record, you might change your tune... and you can't be too safe as a single girl. I wish I had done it before I started dating this one guy who ended up becoming a violent stalker when I broke up with him. He apparently had a record of doing this with other girls, and since I had him arrested 8 times to get away from him, he had more of a trail. Plus it wasn't something that I hid from this new guy, I told him exactly what I found out... I wasn't trying to "trick" him. On the flip side, I am currently in Computer Crime Investigation courses, so it's just a normal thing to do research.
whichwayisup Posted January 3, 2007 Posted January 3, 2007 Hate to say it, but isn't it kind of an invasion of privacy? To do a background check on someone that you're gonna date? Somehow it's not the same as asking mutual friends questions...I don't know, maybe it's just me, but digging into someone's past or finding out what sites they're on is abit nutty.
Art_Critic Posted January 3, 2007 Posted January 3, 2007 But if you had been in an abusive relationship or have been involved in such an unbelievable lie that was public record, you might change your tune... I see where you are coming from...I guess really you cannot be to careful ..with that being said.. Making your partner or future partner pay for someone else's mistakes can be hurtful in itself. You are lucky that the guy wasn't upset and he took it well..most people wouldn't just because they would never feel like they have any privacy around you..and will always feel that you mistrust them The trust issue is yours and unless they give you reason to mistrust them then doing a background check and showing mistrust that early on is not really a good sign of a healthy beginning. I'm just saying.. I think if you are going to pull background checks on dates then you should never reveal that info to them..
Sand&Water Posted January 3, 2007 Posted January 3, 2007 RE: Funny thread, Okeydokey! Why Google dates? I don't see the need to Google people for the sake of a couple of dates -wishfully speaking, a relationship. I don't think it is a bright idea to Google a person looking for information, or shaped of hidden impressions/personalitites. It is just not natural. It remarkably disfigures your perception, and integral personal vision you have of the person. Not zesty. Sand&Water
tanbark813 Posted January 3, 2007 Posted January 3, 2007 I think if you are going to pull background checks on dates then you should never reveal that info to them.. I disagree. I had a girl I met through match flat out say she was going to Google me. She kind of joked about it but said it in a manner that it was clear she was serious. I replied that I'd be doing the same. It didn't bother me at all. I think people who have something to hide would more likely be upset by it.
blind_otter Posted January 3, 2007 Posted January 3, 2007 I disagree. I had a girl I met through match flat out say she was going to Google me. She kind of joked about it but said it in a manner that it was clear she was serious. I replied that I'd be doing the same. It didn't bother me at all. I think people who have something to hide would more likely be upset by it. Word. Now if someone was running a credit check on me, I might be a little like "Uh, wtf are you doing? Is this a job interview?" But a google or criminal background check seems on the level to me. You can never be too careful these days and googling is just. so. easy.
Touche Posted January 3, 2007 Posted January 3, 2007 I disagree. I had a girl I met through match flat out say she was going to Google me. She kind of joked about it but said it in a manner that it was clear she was serious. I replied that I'd be doing the same. It didn't bother me at all. I think people who have something to hide would more likely be upset by it. I agree with this. A decent guy who has nothing to hide wouldn't have a problem in the world with it. It's the ones who DO have a problem with it and get defensive that I'd watch out for. And I don't just mean because they might have something to hide..it goes deeper than that. To me, it speaks to their character. My comfort and security should mean something to them. Anyway, if I were dating I'd do it and I'd have a problem with someone who had a problem with it. I wouldn't have a problem in the world with someone looking me up.
Art_Critic Posted January 3, 2007 Posted January 3, 2007 I disagree. I had a girl I met through match flat out say she was going to Google me. She kind of joked about it but said it in a manner that it was clear she was serious. I replied that I'd be doing the same. It didn't bother me at all. I think people who have something to hide would more likely be upset by it. I agree with you here.. but I wasn't speaking about google.. that is just a search engine.. Even public websites are within the realm.. I was talking about background checks where someone lays down $60-$100. If you have to hire an electronic detective than you have more problems that just seeing if they pay their taxes.. You have issues that will get in the way of a relationship.. Trust being the biggie..
tanbark813 Posted January 3, 2007 Posted January 3, 2007 I was talking about background checks where someone lays down $60-$100. Ahh, yes, that I agree with. That would be going a little far.
Art_Critic Posted January 3, 2007 Posted January 3, 2007 Now if someone was running a credit check on me, I might be a little like "Uh, wtf are you doing? Is this a job interview?" But a google or criminal background check seems on the level to me. You can never be too careful these days and googling is just. so. easy. What makes the line that is to be crossed a credit check ? Is it because you might have marks on your credit or your aprox. net worth /debt might be available to them but you don't have a criminal record ? To me there isn't much difference between a credit check and a criminal check.. they both spell distrust if you run them on someone.. Why even go out with someone that you distrust ?
so gutted Posted January 3, 2007 Posted January 3, 2007 I lie about my name and location to dates i meet of the net. Its my safety net, given that many of them dont work out and turn pyscho on me ....if they dont know who i am to start with they cant trace me. I stupidly told the last one where i worked though, it slipped out - so i didntfollow my own rule. BUT - its safer to lie until they pass the few dates mark and you at least feel 50% comfortable. Is this OTT? ( Over the top) and yes i do google them as many of them pretend to own a company etc and dont.
blind_otter Posted January 3, 2007 Posted January 3, 2007 What makes the line that is to be crossed a credit check ? Is it because you might have marks on your credit or your aprox. net worth /debt might be available to them but you don't have a criminal record ? To me there isn't much difference between a credit check and a criminal check.. they both spell distrust if you run them on someone.. Why even go out with someone that you distrust ? I was talking about background check as in, the free kind that you can do at your state department of corrections website. That only shows people who have been incarcerated, and the charges levied against them. I wasn't talking about the background checks that charge a fee.
Art_Critic Posted January 3, 2007 Posted January 3, 2007 I lie about my name and location to dates i meet of the net Is this OTT? ( Over the top) I wouldn't think so.... maybe the lying about your name might push it if you are also lying about your first name.. I have met women on the net that I wish didn't know who I was as I do own a business and sometimes that makes it harder to get away from them if they turn out to be weirdos.. I once was talking to someone online and sent her my work email.. all of a sudden my desk phone rings and it was her.. I was like.. uhhhh I'm at work working...I had only sent a few emails to her and really didn't know her. She had gotten my phone and extension off my website which came from my email addy.. I told her later on that day that she crossed a boundary with me and I wasn't interested in someone that would do that without me giving her my phone number and asking her to call me at work..
Art_Critic Posted January 3, 2007 Posted January 3, 2007 I was talking about background check as in, the free kind that you can do at your state department of corrections website. That only shows people who have been incarcerated, and the charges levied against them. I wasn't talking about the background checks that charge a fee. Cool.. The department of corrections website can be your friend..
Star Gazer Posted January 3, 2007 Posted January 3, 2007 I totally Google, MySpace them, etc. However, I am private on MySpace, so they can't do it back!! :-)
Buttaflyy Posted January 3, 2007 Posted January 3, 2007 There's a site called "Don't date him girl" where women post their exes in warning others about dating them. This, IMO is wrong. There are two sides to a story right? Also, what went wrong in one relationship isn't necessarily an issue in another. Also, what if they're a bunch or rabbit boilers or spawned women posting? What about deformation of character?
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