higherground5 Posted January 3, 2007 Posted January 3, 2007 All, Why are some girls attracted to guys who treat them badly? Forbin
Pyro Posted January 3, 2007 Posted January 3, 2007 If you go under search, you will find about a half-million threads asking the same question. To answer your question: I really don't know why anyone would be attracted to someone who treats them badly. It could be that they have been treated badly for most of their lives, so they think that it is the norm, or I believe that the girl's self worth/esteem has been taken away by the guy as a result of being treated poorly, that she feels as though she doesn't deserve better.
Porn_Guy Posted January 3, 2007 Posted January 3, 2007 Why are some girls attracted to guys who treat them badly? because the majority of females have self-esteem issues. There are very few who don't.....the lower their esteem the more of a "bad boy" they look for to reinforce their low self esteem.
Author higherground5 Posted January 3, 2007 Author Posted January 3, 2007 because the majority of females have self-esteem issues. There are very few who don't.....the lower their esteem the more of a "bad boy" they look for to reinforce their low self esteem. So girls are attracted to feeling low self-esteem? I don't get it.
Pyro Posted January 3, 2007 Posted January 3, 2007 The majority of females DO NOT have self-esteem issues.
Pyro Posted January 3, 2007 Posted January 3, 2007 So girls are attracted to feeling low self-esteem? I don't get it. Girls that have been treated badly for most of their lives tend to be attracted toward bad treatment because that is what they are use to.
Porn_Guy Posted January 3, 2007 Posted January 3, 2007 The majority of females DO NOT have self-esteem issues. ha ha hah ah ha
Pyro Posted January 3, 2007 Posted January 3, 2007 ha ha hah ah ha You are only "19". You claim that you don't know how to talk to women, so how would you know?
Porn_Guy Posted January 3, 2007 Posted January 3, 2007 You are only "19". You claim that you don't know how to talk to women, so how would you know? please keep the thread on-topic thank you.
SmoochieFace Posted January 3, 2007 Posted January 3, 2007 The majority of females DO NOT have self-esteem issues. If it really is a majority it's probably a slim one at best. Most people are addicted to mass media and they take their cues from it hence the relatively high incidence of insecurity and outright neuroticism in this society which does affect self-esteem as in lowering it. Personally... I believe Porn Guy is right on this one... maybe not as extensive as he says but close.
JCD Posted January 4, 2007 Posted January 4, 2007 A girl that has low self esteem will seek out a guy that is confident and let him control her. If she is with a nice guy, she is incapable of driving the relationship because she doesn't know what she wants or how to act because of her low self esteem.
longlegzs80 Posted January 4, 2007 Posted January 4, 2007 All, Why are some girls attracted to guys who treat them badly? Forbin I never heard something like this. Maybe some girls due to low self esteem etc., settle for guys who treat them bad. Not sure. All I have to say is if your involved with someone who treats you bad, leave and know that you deserve better.
whichwayisup Posted January 4, 2007 Posted January 4, 2007 Everyone goes through a bad relationship - Meaning picking out the badgirl/badboy ... Maybe it's the excitement, or major sexual attraction...When you're young LUST can take over and make you not think properly. The head is telling you RUN, but the emotions are pulling you in. MOST learn from their mistakes and once burned by a badboy/badgirl, they don't look for those types of people to get involved with in the future.
borneveryday Posted January 4, 2007 Posted January 4, 2007 I agree with this last comment most of all! I actually don't think that most women want men to treat them like crap. Anyway, how many men go round advertising themselves with slogans like: "Low self esteem? Let me pummel it with my ignorant ways! I can be yours TODAY and I can promise you...I'm a rel toss-pot!". Often you get sucked in by someone putting on a nice act and then gradually messing with your head as he reveals his true a'hole ways. OR you just fancy him because he's fit and justify it by pretending you like him, even though he has a crap personality, OR you go out with nice guys who treat you well after expermenting with a few others just to broaden your experience of relationships. It's not as a simple as this "most women have low self esteem" stuff. I am a woman, and I think I'm great!!!!
borneveryday Posted January 4, 2007 Posted January 4, 2007 I agree with this last comment most of all! I actually don't think that most women want men to treat them like crap. Anyway, how many men go round advertising themselves with slogans like: "Low self esteem? Let me pummel it with my ignorant ways! I can be yours TODAY and I can promise you...I'm a real toss-pot!". Often you get sucked in by someone putting on a nice act and then gradually messing with your head as he reveals his true a'hole ways. OR you just fancy him because he's fit and justify it by pretending you like him, even though he has a horrid personality, OR you go out with nice guys who treat you well after experimenting with a few others just to broaden your experience of relationships. It's not as a simple as this "most women have low self esteem" stuff. I should know - I am a woman, and I think I'm great!!!!
samsungxoxo Posted January 4, 2007 Posted January 4, 2007 Well at least the poster say "some" and not "most nor all'. The reason is simply b/c some people have low self-esteem and don't love themselves while other do and woudl never put up with poorly behavior.
burning 4 revenge Posted January 4, 2007 Posted January 4, 2007 Women care much more about a man's physical/and/or financial attributes than his character, or personality. In my experience women are worse than men that way.
CaliGuy Posted January 4, 2007 Posted January 4, 2007 All, Why are some girls attracted to guys who treat them badly? Forbin My theory is simply this. At one time the guy was probably awesome to her and loved her the right way. Eventually he took her for granted and started treating her badly. The woman ends up hanging on to the good the man used to show and hopes/prays he will go back to the good guy he used to be. I don't think they want to stay with the bad guy, I think they stay hoping the good guy comes back and loves them like he used to. The problem is that rarely happens. The longer you stay, clinging to them, the more mean and angry they get trying to push you away.
CaliGuy Posted January 4, 2007 Posted January 4, 2007 Women care much more about a man's physical/and/or financial attributes than his character, or personality. In my experience women are worse than men that way. Really, IME it's been men who care much more about the physical attributes and the women who care more about the personality. Hmmm.
musica Posted January 4, 2007 Posted January 4, 2007 I agree with this last comment most of all! I actually don't think that most women want men to treat them like crap. Anyway, how many men go round advertising themselves with slogans like: "Low self esteem? Let me pummel it with my ignorant ways! I can be yours TODAY and I can promise you...I'm a real toss-pot!". Often you get sucked in by someone putting on a nice act and then gradually messing with your head as he reveals his true a'hole ways. OR you just fancy him because he's fit and justify it by pretending you like him, even though he has a horrid personality, OR you go out with nice guys who treat you well after experimenting with a few others just to broaden your experience of relationships. It's not as a simple as this "most women have low self esteem" stuff. I should know - I am a woman, and I think I'm great!!!! i use to traet my girlfriend like ****, and we were a house on fire.. but now i treat her like a princess and things are falling apart...
SmoochieFace Posted January 4, 2007 Posted January 4, 2007 i use to traet my girlfriend like ****, and we were a house on fire.. but now i treat her like a princess and things are falling apart... That's because you went from one extreme to the other. Find a middle ground.
Touche Posted January 4, 2007 Posted January 4, 2007 Really, IME it's been men who care much more about the physical attributes and the women who care more about the personality. Hmmm. That is SO true.
orangehose Posted January 7, 2007 Posted January 7, 2007 I think it's a sort of "scarcity increases demand" issue. If a guy really makes himself available, is committed, trustworthy, and all that, his allure decreases. Because the girl has effectively 'conquered' him and there's no further territory to go into. But if he is distant, unpredictable, controlling, etc, the girl may take him as a challenge, and she clings to any occasional nice thing he does as the greatest thing ever It definitely works in both directions, too - if it's say the girl who's always doing whatever the guy wants and expressing interest and wanting to settle down and so on, the guy immediately withdraws. Because the challenge is over.
orangehose Posted January 7, 2007 Posted January 7, 2007 I think it's a sort of "scarcity increases demand" issue. If a guy really makes himself available, is committed, trustworthy, and all that, his allure decreases. Because the girl has effectively 'conquered' him and there's no further territory to go into. But if he is distant, unpredictable, controlling, etc, the girl may take him as a challenge, and she clings to any occasional nice thing he does as the greatest thing ever It definitely works in both directions, too - if it's say the girl who's always doing whatever the guy wants and expressing interest and wanting to settle down and so on, the guy immediately withdraws. Because the challenge is over. but I should add, hopefully there are plenty of people of both sexes out there who are not into such game playing. Unfortunately, to a certain extent I think it's a part of human nature. A female friend of mine badly wanted to marry her boyfriend for a while, but he wasn't interested until they went to some party and she got hit on a ton of times. Made him want her more.
Touche Posted January 7, 2007 Posted January 7, 2007 but I should add, hopefully there are plenty of people of both sexes out there who are not into such game playing. Unfortunately, to a certain extent I think it's a part of human nature. A female friend of mine badly wanted to marry her boyfriend for a while, but he wasn't interested until they went to some party and she got hit on a ton of times. Made him want her more. I agreed with all that you said. I think it's also a question of maturity. I used to dig the challenge. But after the age of 30, I wasn't interested in it anymore. I wanted a man who was upfront in telling me how he felt about me. And I wasn't interested in "conquering" nor in playing hard to get. Luckily, I met a man who also was through with the challenges and games. We declared our love for each other 4 weeks after we met and married eight months after that.
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