sunangel Posted January 2, 2007 Posted January 2, 2007 First of all i just want to thank anyone who is taking their time to read my personal dilemma. I would appreciate your honest opinion if you wish to leave one. Here it goes...................... This guy and I have been best friends since my 9th grade year in high school(It's been 9 years). He wanted me from the start, but I knew the kind of guy he was and turned him down various times. He wasn't a bad person, but he was the typical teenage guy. Very flirtatious and was basically sleeping with any girl who came in sight. We became great friends and bonded in a very special way, he respected me and was content with just having a friendship. He ended up getting a girl pregnant his senior year. They didn't even have a relationship it was a "One night stand". The girl had the baby and he took responsibility for his mistake. We lost touch for about a year after high school and he got a different girl pregnant for the second time.They didn't last either. He called me one day out of the blue and we picked up right where we had left off. I knew that special bond we had, was still there. Funny thing is I only saw him like a brother and nothing else. Well...finally 4 months ago he confessed that he was in love with me and wanted to be with me. He said to give him a chance and that no one understood me like he did. That he just wanted to make me happy. I don't know what it was about that particular conversation but he got me! I looked at him in a different light that night. I decided to give it a chance. I was scared to ruin our freindship but decided it was worth the risk. We began dating around September. I accepted his two daughters(2yr old & 6 yr old) and everything was fine. Though i'm a jealous person i dealt with phone calls from his kids mothers and didn't let it get between us. About 3 weeks ago he started hanging out with his friends alot and leaving me out. I understand that you need to let your partner do his own thing once in a while ,but I feel like we were barely spending time. He works two jobs, so our only time is on the weekends. I have been stressing for a few weeks now cause i really wanted this to work. I had two prior conversations with him face to face and i expressed that I wanted a boyfriend who was committed and not someone who wasn't gonna spend time with me, and that if he was having doubts to please tell me. His reply was that he wanted to be with me and that he just wanted to hang with his friends. He even went as far as saying that he saw me in his future and wanted us to move in together as soon as he bought a new place. So this past New Year's weekend he spent it with me but on New Year's eve he said he was going to his family's house, but didn't invite me. His family and I get along great and I've been around them plenty so i don't see the big mystery on why i couldn't go. He said after twelve he would come to my family's house. Long story short i was very emotional when he finally called at 12:30am! I was upset that we didn't spend our first new year's together so when we spoke i gave him an attitude out of resentment. He hung up on me! And when i called back he picked up and hung up again! So i didn't bother him anymore. I decided in that moment that i was gonna break up with him. I can't let him play games with me. So the next day I put on a preety dress did my makeup, I got a gift bag and put the camera he gave me for x-mas and some stuff he had left in my house. And I called him and said i had to give him something. When i arrived at his house the first thing he said was how beautiful i looked.And i thought to myself how he didn't even appreciate it. I said i didn't like his behavior lately and told him it was over. And that not only was he loosing a great friend but also a great girl, that despite all his baggage i was willing to overlook them to be with him. I reminded him that i had tried several times to get through to him but nothing was changing, and that I loved myself enough to get up and go. As i was walking to my car he ran after me and tried to give me back the camera. I said thanks but i didn't want it. I said for him to leave me alone and not call me. So his male ego kicked in and he said he was gonna erase my number. Which i thought was so immature and childish. He obviously is upset that i dumped him cause he never saw it coming. The last thing i want is to be away from him. I love him but i felt i was being taken for granted! Even though i'm the one who broke it off, i think about him all day! I wish it could have worked out and i absolutely wish it didn't have to be this way. I must say though that for the first time in my life i feel very proud of myself. Cause i confronted him like a lady without cursing or yelling and i got my point across with style and grace. I showed him for the first time in his life what a true lady is all about! I don't know what the future holds for us and what will happen, but i'm glad i still have my self value and dignity. I won't lie though........ I miss him! Anyone have any input???
amaysngrace Posted January 2, 2007 Posted January 2, 2007 You did the right thing. He screwed up and you wouldn't accept things as they were. There is nothing wrong with thinking highly enough of yourself to leave a bad relationship behind. I would just say DON'T CALL or CONTACT him in anyway. If you do, you will let him know this kind of treatment from him is tolerated by you. Hang in there. Maybe he'll smarten up and learn to appreciate you or maybe he won't. But you don't want a dumb guy by your side really anyway, do you?
Author sunangel Posted January 2, 2007 Author Posted January 2, 2007 You are absolutely right. I'll keep you posted on what happens the next few weeks to come. Happy new year and may it bring you lots of health, love, and happiness!
norajane Posted January 2, 2007 Posted January 2, 2007 First of all i just want to thank anyone who is taking their time to read my personal dilemma. I would appreciate your honest opinion if you wish to leave one. Here it goes...................... This guy and I have been best friends since my 9th grade year in high school(It's been 9 years). He wanted me from the start, but I knew the kind of guy he was and turned him down various times. He wasn't a bad person, but he was the typical teenage guy. Very flirtatious and was basically sleeping with any girl who came in sight. We became great friends and bonded in a very special way, he respected me and was content with just having a friendship. He ended up getting a girl pregnant his senior year. They didn't even have a relationship it was a "One night stand". The girl had the baby and he took responsibility for his mistake. We lost touch for about a year after high school and he got a different girl pregnant for the second time.They didn't last either. He called me one day out of the blue and we picked up right where we had left off. I knew that special bond we had, was still there. Funny thing is I only saw him like a brother and nothing else. Well...finally 4 months ago he confessed that he was in love with me and wanted to be with me. He said to give him a chance and that no one understood me like he did. That he just wanted to make me happy. I don't know what it was about that particular conversation but he got me! I looked at him in a different light that night. I decided to give it a chance. I was scared to ruin our freindship but decided it was worth the risk. We began dating around September. I accepted his two daughters(2yr old & 6 yr old) and everything was fine. Though i'm a jealous person i dealt with phone calls from his kids mothers and didn't let it get between us. About 3 weeks ago he started hanging out with his friends alot and leaving me out. I understand that you need to let your partner do his own thing once in a while ,but I feel like we were barely spending time. He works two jobs, so our only time is on the weekends. I have been stressing for a few weeks now cause i really wanted this to work. I had two prior conversations with him face to face and i expressed that I wanted a boyfriend who was committed and not someone who wasn't gonna spend time with me, and that if he was having doubts to please tell me. His reply was that he wanted to be with me and that he just wanted to hang with his friends. He even went as far as saying that he saw me in his future and wanted us to move in together as soon as he bought a new place. So this past New Year's weekend he spent it with me but on New Year's eve he said he was going to his family's house, but didn't invite me. His family and I get along great and I've been around them plenty so i don't see the big mystery on why i couldn't go. He said after twelve he would come to my family's house. Long story short i was very emotional when he finally called at 12:30am! I was upset that we didn't spend our first new year's together so when we spoke i gave him an attitude out of resentment. He hung up on me! And when i called back he picked up and hung up again! So i didn't bother him anymore. I decided in that moment that i was gonna break up with him. I can't let him play games with me. So the next day I put on a preety dress did my makeup, I got a gift bag and put the camera he gave me for x-mas and some stuff he had left in my house. And I called him and said i had to give him something. When i arrived at his house the first thing he said was how beautiful i looked.And i thought to myself how he didn't even appreciate it. I said i didn't like his behavior lately and told him it was over. And that not only was he loosing a great friend but also a great girl, that despite all his baggage i was willing to overlook them to be with him. I reminded him that i had tried several times to get through to him but nothing was changing, and that I loved myself enough to get up and go. As i was walking to my car he ran after me and tried to give me back the camera. I said thanks but i didn't want it. I said for him to leave me alone and not call me. So his male ego kicked in and he said he was gonna erase my number. Which i thought was so immature and childish. He obviously is upset that i dumped him cause he never saw it coming. The last thing i want is to be away from him. I love him but i felt i was being taken for granted! Even though i'm the one who broke it off, i think about him all day! I wish it could have worked out and i absolutely wish it didn't have to be this way. I must say though that for the first time in my life i feel very proud of myself. Cause i confronted him like a lady without cursing or yelling and i got my point across with style and grace. I showed him for the first time in his life what a true lady is all about! I don't know what the future holds for us and what will happen, but i'm glad i still have my self value and dignity. I won't lie though........ I miss him! Anyone have any input??? Yes, you might miss him for a while, but if someone is taking you for granted, he's not going to make you feel good in the long run. Whatever you're missing about him, you'll find you won't miss at all when you start dating someone who treats you properly. Good for you for your fresh start this year! (And please, break up your long posts into paragraphs, and don't use bold and italics - it's much harder to read your posts that way.)
lorr Posted January 3, 2007 Posted January 3, 2007 Well done! This guy was taking you for a complete ride. You behaved remarkably well, and you had the confidence and courage to show him that you can do better without him. This guy has alot of issues that he needs to deal with on his own, and if anything you are doing him a massive favour, even if he doesn't realise it now. But there will come a time in the future when he realises that he ****** up big time, but by then it will be too late, as you will have moved on to bigger and better things.
Author sunangel Posted January 3, 2007 Author Posted January 3, 2007 I'm sure that's exactly what will happen. Thanks!
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