Guest Posted January 2, 2007 Posted January 2, 2007 How common is it? Have the strippers ever provided sex at the parties you or your spouse have attended? Have you or your spouse taken part in having sex with a stripper at a bachellor party? Will you read my story and tell me if you think my spouse may have had sex with a stripper? I was reading on another site about a MM who went to his BIL's bachellor party. A stripper was hired and they were offered sex by the stripper. She told the men that for $1,000.00 dollars, she would allow ten of them to run a train on her. The MM took part in running the train on the stripper, came home and immediately confessed to his wife. She is now in the process of writing to every wife of the men who attended the party to inform them of this transgression and suggest they get a STD test immediately. It got me to thinking of my boyfriend's business partner's bachellor party. I was told there was a stripper, and I was told the business partner did have sex with the stripper, but that my boyfriend did not participate. Later on, about ten years into our marriage, my husband had an affair and he vehlmently denied it until he was inevetably caught. The only thing I know about his affair is what I found out on my own. He never confessed anything voluntarily. Now I know he was capable of deceiving me and that has had sex with at least one known person during our marriage. When I read that thread I wondered if he actually did take part in the sex act with the stripper at his business partners BP. It happened before we were actually married, and when we were married within a year of his business partner, he insisted we both have STF & AIDS testing before the marriage. He claimed it was for business insurance, but I am starting to wonder if he may have had sex with a stripper at this party, exposed me to STD's and found a way to convince me to have STD testing for his own self assurance. What do you think? I have posted this here to get a broader view of bachellor parties, illicit sex and infidelity between two partners. Thanks
Touche Posted January 2, 2007 Posted January 2, 2007 To answer your question, no. I have never known anyone to have these kinds of parties. Maybe I'll get flamed for this but I've always associated that kind of thing with people who are just generally low-class in general. Don't mean to sound like a snob but that's what I've always thought. Classy men, in my book, don't engage in that kind of activity...particularly right before they get married for heaven's sakes.
allina Posted January 2, 2007 Posted January 2, 2007 Maybe I'll get flamed for this but I've always associated that kind of thing with people who are just generally low-class in general. Don't mean to sound like a snob but that's what I've always thought. Classy men, in my book, don't engage in that kind of activity...particularly right before they get married for heaven's sakes. I think you're right Touche, I have a similar view of this tradition, I associate this with the young small town boys that get married right after highschool and go out for some bud and possibly a lap dance, maybe more, from Candi. However I think women get too neurotic about strip clubs. I don't think that a guy going to a strip club with his buddies should be as large of an issue as it seems to be with many females. I really don't think men are looking to leave their gf's for a stripper.
norajane Posted January 2, 2007 Posted January 2, 2007 That story you read online sounds just that - a story. Strippers aren't prostitutes, and even if they had hired a prostitute, she wouldn't be dumb enough to let 10 guys f*ck her without condoms. I've heard of bachelor parties with strippers...the guys at the board of trade and the mercantile exchange seem to be real fond of them. But I don't recall hearing of any actual sex...just lap dances.
rainfall Posted January 2, 2007 Posted January 2, 2007 I However I think women get too neurotic about strip clubs. I don't think that a guy going to a strip club with his buddies should be as large of an issue as it seems to be with many females. I really don't think men are looking to leave their gf's for a stripper. Please there is nothing wrong with finding it wrong for your man to have a stranger touching him in a sexual way........I think men who are insensitive about his partner's feelings on strip clubs are jerks. However to answer the OP, yes I have heard about "strippers" (prostitues) being paid to sleep with the men at bachelor parties. This girl I work with told me her ex cheated on her in this manner. I guess there are a few bachelor parties where this type of behavior doesn't go on, but if a man is having a bachelor party in the first place I don't think he is marrying the right person. Unless of course she is ok with knowing some stranger will be touching her man in very sexual ways.
ridingthebulls Posted February 19, 2007 Posted February 19, 2007 "Maybe I'll get flamed for this but I've always associated that kind of thing with people who are just generally low-class in general. " LOL. Businessmen are very common customers at strip clubs. The only difference is that some people have to put on a good front/show/facade for social and family reasons because of their upper-class status but they usually are more likely to succumb to strip clubs, whores, escorts etc because they generally have such a high self-importance and regard for themselves. Selfish people do selfish things. If you don't see it, then it's not happening.. just keep telling yourself that.
a4a Posted February 19, 2007 Posted February 19, 2007 "Maybe I'll get flamed for this but I've always associated that kind of thing with people who are just generally low-class in general. " LOL. Businessmen are very common customers at strip clubs. The only difference is that some people have to put on a good front/show/facade for social and family reasons because of their upper-class status but they usually are more likely to succumb to strip clubs, whores, escorts etc because they generally have such a high self-importance and regard for themselves. Selfish people do selfish things. If you don't see it, then it's not happening.. just keep telling yourself that. Just because you own a business/money does not make you have "class". and yeppers..... I know 2 men that have gotten sex from strippers at parties and clubs. Not my chosen friends..... but yes indeed they have, so it does happen and yes they lie to their wife and gf about it. Again these are the only 2 guys I know that do go to clubs. I do know of many Bach. parties that did indeed involve sex. Hell even saw pics of one.....with the actual act of oral sex and her ontop of another guy at the party.......
Mr. Lucky Posted February 19, 2007 Posted February 19, 2007 Later on, about ten years into our marriage, my husband had an affair and he vehlmently denied it until he was inevetably caught. The only thing I know about his affair is what I found out on my own. He never confessed anything voluntarily. Since you already know what your husband is capable of - cheating, lying to you and exposing you to STD's - why the need to confirm a second felony that occurred 10 years ago? If he did or didn't, would that impact how you feel about him today? Just curious... Mr. Lucky
tinktronik Posted February 19, 2007 Posted February 19, 2007 I was a stripper and my understanding of bachelor parties was that they were the after party place where the girls did do extras . I never did a bachelor party or after party or whatever but I know lots of girls who did and they were open about it being a sex party . The kind of bachelor party Im refering to would be a private party in a hotel or something not one in a club. Although there are some clubs that are known for providing more than just dancers in the club.
Star Gazer Posted February 19, 2007 Posted February 19, 2007 Strip clubs = as innocent as innocent can get, given that the women are nearly (or completely) naked. Stripper at a private home for a Bachelor Party = no boundaries. Whether your BF/H would have sex with the stripper under such circumstances will obviously depend on the strength of your relationship.
ash519 Posted February 20, 2007 Posted February 20, 2007 I dont like the whole strib club/at home stripper stuff at all but I do have to disagree with someone who said that if a man is having a bachelor party he may not be ready for marriage or is young. Unfortuantely the party is kind of left up to the best man and as much as some grooms say they are all set with strippers SURPRISE!!!! There are. I have heard of MANY men who dont sleep with the at home strippers. I know that they do many disgusting things while there but it doesnt always end up as a sex party. I also have heard of times where it did turn out. The whole issue bugs me. Knowing your man is out there obviously getting hammered with his friends who are egging him on and then some strippers strutting around!!! The whole thought makes me so insecure and makes me get very bothered but that doesnt mean they will cheat. I dont normally think my bf will cheat. Anyway, my point is most men do have bachelor parties, and a large percent have strippers...they dont all turn into sex parties, i believe a small percent turns into that.
Krytellan Posted February 20, 2007 Posted February 20, 2007 I guess there are a few bachelor parties where this type of behavior doesn't go on, but if a man is having a bachelor party in the first place I don't think he is marrying the right person. Yeah, I guess there may be 5% of the parties where the groom doesn't sleep with the hooker (sarcasm)... come on. How does having a party mean his fiancee is not the right woman? I don't get the correlation.
ash519 Posted February 20, 2007 Posted February 20, 2007 I agree with you Kry. I dont think that means he is marrying the wrong girl. 90% of bachelor parties include strippers. Are they all marrying the wrong person? I dont think so. These parties are put together by the grooms friends and well, we know guys. As much as i know i hate it and as insecure as it makes me, i dont think ALL bachelor parties are breeding grounds for infedelity.
Krytellan Posted February 20, 2007 Posted February 20, 2007 Just to let the women know that these things aren't always as "evil" as the images in their heads. I had 6 strippers at my bachelor party... yes, 6. Not one of them had sex with any of the guys at the party and they were there for 2 or 3 hours. Just because they are there doesn't mean it is a sex-fest. And to expand on a previous poster, if a groom is having sex with party strippers, then HE is the wrong person, not the woman. And if you feel the need to refuse him the right to have a bachelor party out of fear of what might happen, then you neeed to reconsider your choice in men.
rainfall Posted February 21, 2007 Posted February 21, 2007 Yeah, I guess there may be 5% of the parties where the groom doesn't sleep with the hooker (sarcasm)... come on. How does having a party mean his fiancee is not the right woman? I don't get the correlation. Ok well at least in my case if my bf ever thought it was ok to have a naked chick grind him and rub her boobs in his face then he can get the hell away from me. I deserve ALOT better then that. Lap dances go on at pretty much every sinle bachelor patry. I know I would never marry a man who wanted a bachloer party at a strip club. Lap dance=cheating.
tinktronik Posted February 21, 2007 Posted February 21, 2007 Ok well at least in my case if my bf ever thought it was ok to have a naked chick grind him and rub her boobs in his face then he can get the hell away from me. I deserve ALOT better then that. Lap dances go on at pretty much every sinle bachelor patry. I know I would never marry a man who wanted a bachloer party at a strip club. Lap dance=cheating. I don't see it at all as a cheating thing . But i too would not be comfortable with my spouse hanging out at a club . I spent quite a few years dancing , and I know the inner workings of the clubs , I know how a girl scouts the room , how she works the client to get the most money out of him . It was always joked when I was dancing that I could smell the guy with the most money to spend burning up his pocket or plastic and get him to spend it all to the last penny. We used to work it discussing the guys in the back room and make bets as to how much we could make off them , then go introduce ourselves . I would not want some girl working my spouse in that way and would not be able to respect him in the same way if I knew it was happening.
rainfall Posted February 22, 2007 Posted February 22, 2007 I don't see it at all as a cheating thing . But i too would not be comfortable with my spouse hanging out at a club . I spent quite a few years dancing , and I know the inner workings of the clubs , I know how a girl scouts the room , how she works the client to get the most money out of him . It was always joked when I was dancing that I could smell the guy with the most money to spend burning up his pocket or plastic and get him to spend it all to the last penny. We used to work it discussing the guys in the back room and make bets as to how much we could make off them , then go introduce ourselves . I would not want some girl working my spouse in that way and would not be able to respect him in the same way if I knew it was happening. I guess everyone has a different idea of what cheating is. I know in my relationship noone but me is allowed to touch my naked body on my boyfriend. I just would view it as extremetly disrespectful for him to pay someone money to try and get him off by dry humping him.
brokenhart2007 Posted February 22, 2007 Posted February 22, 2007 In my early 20's I was close friends with several men who considered me "one of the guys" so I got invited to one of their bachelor parties, where there were 2 strippers (female) that gave each other oral sex right there in front of all...and I let one of them pick up a dollar off my face with her...u know what...anyways they also gave lap dances but I've never seen a stripper accept or invite actual sex acts with their "customers"...from what I know they can get into trouble for that...I guess that all depends on who they work for...
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