Libertyguy Posted January 2, 2007 Posted January 2, 2007 Why do we put up with all the things we do in relationships? I've been in a relationship now for two months. While I know that isn't very long, I already care more about this girl than I ever have about anyone else. I have done everything she has ever asked me to do, but now she has asked too much. She told her best friend (ex-boyfriend) that she won't be friends with any other guys and will only be friends with him. While she says that she only told him that to make him happy and prevent from hurting his feelings, she failed to see the ramifications of such a statement. By saying this, she has completely negated the possibility of us going to church together, holding hands in public, or even being able to pick her up in front of her dorm. I trust her completely but is this a breech of trust? Can a relationship survive with such a deception and hardship in existence? Should I be willing to put up with such a demand or am I being foolish to consider doing such? I know that she cares about me, but it seems she cares more about the feelings of her ex than mine. Should I be more flexible in my approach or is this a place to draw the line. Our relationship has always been kept secret for fear of parental opinions; but is this newest twist a cause for more serious concern? I don't know the appropriate course of action from this point forward. I know only that I was deeply hurt by such a request and even more so by the insistance that this is the only way she will allow it to be. Explaining how much this idea hurt me, caused her to become angry and not understanding. What should I do?
norajane Posted January 2, 2007 Posted January 2, 2007 Dump her - NOW - while you still aren't so head over heels that you'll accept anything and everything from her. She is putting her ex's feelings above yours. She is hiding your relationship. WHY do you want to put up with that. You will only grow to resent her, feel bad about yourself, and get even more hurt in the future.
IWalkAlone Posted January 2, 2007 Posted January 2, 2007 Is she asking that your relationship with her be kept secret? Or just that she won't have male friends other than the X? The first is unreasonable, the second is her perrogative.
norajane Posted January 2, 2007 Posted January 2, 2007 Is she asking that your relationship with her be kept secret? Or just that she won't have male friends other than the X? The first is unreasonable, the second is her perrogative. From what Libertyguy wrote, she told her ex that she won't have any other guy friends except for her ex. Presumably, that means she won't be friends even with Libertyguy, meaning she's hiding Libertyguy's relationship from her ex. She's also keeping Libertyguy secret from everyone else for fear her parents will find out.
Recommended Posts