Dodger Posted January 2, 2007 Posted January 2, 2007 Hi all I recently asked out a girl I've been friends with for 4-5 months. She said yes and we're going out soon. Apparently she has liked me for a while and has been waiting for me to ask her out. I've never been in this situation before (going out with someone I've been friends with beforehand), so I'm wondering whether my behavior should change or not? Do I just carry on as normal (I have been playing hard to get without realising, not giving any signs I was interested in her until I actually asked her out), or do I step up my interest level in terms of letting her know I like her and how I feel, complements, etc. Obviously, I'm not talking in terms of my personality, more in terms of signs of affection and other things. Thanks.
Guest Posted January 2, 2007 Posted January 2, 2007 just be yerself. if u change anything, it just sends mixed signals. remember, people like you for who u are and when u are constant, it shows maturity, stabilty, and confidence [goes both ways]. and, remember, the worst way to mess things up is to agree to meet, and then bail without calling before hand. that is a killer at any age, but, the older u get, the more unforgiven people get with that stuff. i had a guy friend that used to do that all the time, he thought it was kinda funny - that Darce guy didn't mean to, that's just him - so, one day, I said enuff. We are better friends now because I stood up for myself and wouldn't put up with that silliness anymore. He just got married I heard [great woman] and they live in TO so I only see him and wife once or twice during the summer.
jusified Posted January 2, 2007 Posted January 2, 2007 If you guys are going out then start acting like it. It's good that you were friends first but you guys have expanded on that relationship so affection is perfectly fine.
chryssy83 Posted January 2, 2007 Posted January 2, 2007 I had a relationship that started like this and it was really strange at first. But then he piped up and said that he didn't really know how to act, because he really liked me but it wasn't a normal first date. I appreciated him being so honest about it. I think I just smiled and said we should start like "this" and took his hand in mine. It was kind of a sweet moment, and it relieved a lot of pressure. Just remember, if you feel weird the other person probably does, too. The other person will probably appreciate you putting yourself out there with a touch or goodnight kiss or whatever.
BlueEyedSarah Posted January 2, 2007 Posted January 2, 2007 Hi all I recently asked out a girl I've been friends with for 4-5 months. She said yes and we're going out soon. Apparently she has liked me for a while and has been waiting for me to ask her out. I've never been in this situation before (going out with someone I've been friends with beforehand), so I'm wondering whether my behavior should change or not? Do I just carry on as normal (I have been playing hard to get without realising, not giving any signs I was interested in her until I actually asked her out), or do I step up my interest level in terms of letting her know I like her and how I feel, complements, etc. Obviously, I'm not talking in terms of my personality, more in terms of signs of affection and other things. Thanks. You could give her flowers on a date, or chocolate or a presant, that will show affection, but thats not all you should do for a girl, you could send her sweet good night loving texts, send e cards, hold her hand, kiss, cuddle, ect. If you are unsure of what to do you could talk to her like chryssy83 story, she may show you how to start off. You could also ask what she would expect a guy to do for her in a relationship, get some insight and idea on what she likes a guy to do for her. For example ringing everyday.
Author Dodger Posted January 3, 2007 Author Posted January 3, 2007 If you guys are going out then start acting like it. It's good that you were friends first but you guys have expanded on that relationship so affection is perfectly fine. This is exactly what I'm confused about... How much affection should I show at first. I'm unsure of how strongly to come on. This girl has already decided she likes me, but I don't wanna screw it up by taking it too fast (or too slow). We have already kissed, she made the first move, but she later apologised and said she shouldn't have done that. I had a relationship that started like this and it was really strange at first. But then he piped up and said that he didn't really know how to act, because he really liked me but it wasn't a normal first date. This is another thing I've been thinking about. Its not a normal first date. We already know each other, and have been out together many times but never on a "date" - just as friends. I think the other problem is that I find it difficult to be affectionate, it doesn;t come naturally to me, so I'm worried she may see this as me being uninterested. Should I act as I did when we hung out as friends, or as jusified said, which makes more sense - act like we're going out - remember were not actually going out yet - its the first date. ???
gfto Posted January 3, 2007 Posted January 3, 2007 Cool. She kissed you first. That's what you call high interest level. Nice job! But, settle down. Don't try to be affectionate. Focus on keeping things light and funny. Make her laugh. Let her initiate any touching; not you.
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