Guest Posted January 1, 2007 Posted January 1, 2007 Ok, I need help with this problem. I met a girl through a Message Board for people with Social Anxiety Disorder. She is the most wonderful person I have ever met. But there are some problems. One, she lives in Florida and I live in New York. Not a big deal because we are able to chat daily on Yahoo IM and we may move on to talking on the phone. What makes it even more difficult is that we both have Social Anxiety Disorder and we're not the best when it comes to starting a conversation or things like that. I really like this girl and I have from the first time I talked to her. But the big problem is that she is in a relationship with a guy that she's been dating for 4 years. While we were talking she said how this guy is the complete opposite of her. He likes to go out to bars and parties while those types of things petrify her. And he doesn't understand her disorder and says things like "She needs to get over it" or "It's all in her mind." She's said that she really doesn't think she would stay with this guy except for the fact that she relys on him and is scared that if she leaves she'll be left with nothing and no chance of finding a new b/f. I've tried to tell her than I'm there for her, and I think she now thinks of me as a friend, and other than her boyfriend, I'm the only friend she's got. She is also the only friend I have. I really would love for her to end her relationship and start one with me, but I'm afraid that she won't because of the distance of the relationship. The main reason she's staying with this guy is that he lives near her and doesn't want to be alone. How can I show her that even though I'm not near her, I can still be there for her and that she will be much better off without this guy that doesn't understand her. I've only talked to her a couple of times, and it hasn't progressed much farther than some minor flirting, but I know in my heart that she is "THE ONE" and I can't let her pass me by. So, any advice you have to help me will be greatly appreciated. I really like her and I think I may love her, and I don't want her to be sad in her current situation. But I just don't know what to say to her either through email or IM. -Love stricken
moman Posted January 1, 2007 Posted January 1, 2007 Continue to be her friend, be there for her, and let her know that you are and will always be there for her. You cannot make her leave her boyfriend - the only way for that to happen is that she will realize that she is not happy. I think this will work out favorably for you but it will take a lot of time and hard work. Good luck.
skeeter31 Posted January 1, 2007 Posted January 1, 2007 Thank you. I realize it will take a lot of time and effort, but it's just nice to hear that it hopefully won't be for naught.
Star Gazer Posted January 1, 2007 Posted January 1, 2007 You cannot possibly think that this girl is "THE ONE" - You've never met her. You've never even heard her voice. You've talked to her on IM only a FEW times. Ugh.
shawn_68 Posted January 2, 2007 Posted January 2, 2007 She is the most wonderful person I have ever met. But there are some problems. One, she lives in Florida and I live in New York. Not a big deal because we are able to chat daily on Yahoo IM and we may move on to talking on the phone. I think it's time for reality to set in here. You live in NY, she lives in FL. That IS a big deal. How could you be her BF? How often could you travel to see her? I think you're better off thinking in terms of a friendship and nothing more. When you do meet someone close by try to keep your emotions in check. You're getting WAAAAY ahead of yourself.
BlueEyedSarah Posted January 2, 2007 Posted January 2, 2007 Looks as though the only thing you both will have is a friendship with each other. She already has another boyfriend, she is taken, not available. You can not make her break up with her boyfriend, there is nothing you can say to make her break up with her boyfriend and even if she did she may not get with you because of the distance you have with each other. Also you can't say you love this girl and she is the one for you because you have not even met her! Don't wait around for her because nothing may not come more between you and her. Don't miss other opertunities with other girls closer to you.
Recommended Posts