Monarch261 Posted January 1, 2007 Posted January 1, 2007 I've thrown this out to my friends, but I think its time to get some unbiased input: I recently graduated from college and took a job which requires 18 to 24 months of training. In hopes I could meet someone, I've gone ahead and tried online dating. One person I really connected with has left me a bit puzzled. We exchanged long, thought out emails and proceeded to go out to lunch a few times (fitting into her schedule). Both went well, and we continued to talk and email on a normal basis. 2 weeks had gone by since we had last met, so I continued to ask when we could meet up again. First she was sick one week and then was busy with the holidays the next. I was naive and gave her the benefit of the doubt. Then after Christmas I asked if we were on the same page, and I got my answer. Another long, detailed, 'happy' email, then she finally mentions that she had been seeing another guy. A swift kick to the groin. I got strung along for the better part of a month basically. She could have just said we should be friends, I didn't need to hear about getting replaced essentially. She even asked me to write back... yeah, right. Anyway, I suspect my job status played a factor. Her family and extended family all live in this area, whereas the nearest person I know outside of work or church is 4 hrs away. I was upfront about this from the start, being honest in saying I'd probably be promoted to a new location in a year or so, but could end up staying here like my predecessors have. Do I need to address this in a different way? My theory right now is that I need to seek out other transplants to the area, but that is easier said than done. Does anyone else in a similar situation have some suggestions on dealing with the temporary status? Thanks for any input you might have. I am open to any suggestions at this point.
jerbear Posted January 1, 2007 Posted January 1, 2007 If you are going to be in the area temporarily, you should not have high expectations of any long term relationships. I stopped all dating and pursuits when I knew I got the job, even if I thought it maybe for 1 year. You were up front with her and she took that into consideration. It takes two to tango. You did what you thought was the right thing to do. You did fine. If you really want a relationship, I suggest a casual one or even a friendly one. I don't like FWB's but that is also a consideration.
TYASAFAHICSI Posted January 1, 2007 Posted January 1, 2007 Online dating is just for that--dating. So she dated you and had a good time, and also dated someone else and had a good time--maybe a better time. But hey that is what it is all about. Stick with her on her terms--maybe the other guy wont work out. Pursue other women online and off and if you connect with one take it to the next step. You were honest and upfront and possibly (probably) that was a negative on your boyfriend report card.
Lauriebell82 Posted January 1, 2007 Posted January 1, 2007 i know if i just started dating a guy i really liked, and he told me that he could be transferred in a year i'd be hesitant to want to start something with him. it was good that u were upfront with him but i'm sure she did take that into consideration, especially since the other guy she was dating is probably going to be sticking around the area. maybe forget about the long term relationship or look into maybe keeping a job permanantly somewhere.
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