ShyWriterGal Posted January 1, 2007 Posted January 1, 2007 The long and short of it. I've known a guy for 12 years. We've talked regularly for the past 15 months, and daily for the last 2. He invited me to come visit him and we slept together twice (three weeks ago). He lives 2,000 miles from me and has multiple issues that he says preclude him from having any relationship right now...a daughter in counseling, health problems, unfinished college education, and bad finances. I told him the other night I didn't want to harm anything and I wanted to have a relationship-relationship with him. He said he can't do that to his daughter, as she's been emotionally hurt by other women leaving before. He said he needs a year to straighten things out for himself before he can be there for anyone else. I tried to make him understand I wasn't asking him to sacrifice anything, and he got freaked out and said I was scaring him and he is worried about my mental state! This guy has been my friend for years. I don't know what to make of his excuses, or how to undo the damage I did. We're still talking but things feel stiff and we're not talking nearly as much. What can I do to make him see I am NOT desperate but I don't expect him to be perfect? I want a real relationship with him and I'm fearful someone else might come along if I really have to wait a year to see where he stands with his own life.
Lauriebell82 Posted January 1, 2007 Posted January 1, 2007 well unfortunately this is not going at ur speed and it sucks. believe me i've been there. obviously this guy has some issues in his life that he needs to deal with. actually he's probably doing u a favor being honest and saying he cant commit to a relationship, because he is being pulled in different directions. i think maybe u should just consider moving on, because i wouldnt wait around a year for him. if its meant to be then when he gets his life in order than he'll want to be with u. until then u could keep seeing him at his terms, but def. keep ur options open, especially if another guy who is available to have a relatiosnhip with u comes around!
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