azizy Posted January 1, 2007 Posted January 1, 2007 Hello, I am looking for advice please: I am single, available, independent women and I am dating a man who is still living with his wife in the same house but separate quarters. He says he has no physical relationship with her, but he feels he has a moral obligation to stay married -- his wife was treated for cancer and asked him not to leave her. According to him he fell out of love of her five years ago. Her parents passed away and they have no children! I asked him to move out of his house and he did, to an apartment close to where I live. He still has to go home at least once every two weeks to collect the mail and pay bills and help with maintaining the property. I asked him he should seek an advice from an attorney to get a legal separation but he does not like it when I tell him what to do! His wife knows about us and somehow, got my tel. Number and called me recently and said: To stay away from her husband…. I was devastated that she found out and I wanted to just break the relationship right then. He begged me to be patient with him and to let time resolve his issue! I keep telling him I can’t tolerate this discreet relationship and he thinks I am being too negative and I manage to spoil the relationship by keeping on mentioning this issue… I am so confused… don’t know what to do at this point? Should I quit on him? thanks
longlegzs80 Posted January 2, 2007 Posted January 2, 2007 Okay, both you and his wife should consider leaving him. Your messing around on dangerous grounds when you become involved with someone elses man meat. So, think more of yourself and find someone else. Preferrably someone who is single. Make it very clear to this man that you don't want any involvement with him because he is a married man and leave it as that. MOVE ON, there are many many many single men out there who would probubly love to date you, so hop on it and find some single men. And don't mess with the married meat.
LucreziaBorgia Posted January 2, 2007 Posted January 2, 2007 I keep telling him I can’t tolerate this discreet relationship and he thinks I am being too negative and I manage to spoil the relationship by keeping on mentioning this issue… So, speaking up for yourself and wanting a legitimate relationship is "spoiling" things for him? I guess that should tell you right away exactly what the extent of your relationship is, and what you can expect from this man. Should you quit him? If you do not want to continue being this married guy's other woman, then yes - you should cut this guy off completely and walk out of his life permanently.
whichwayisup Posted January 2, 2007 Posted January 2, 2007 his wife was treated for cancer and asked him not to leave her. Because of this you need to respect her wishes - She's asked you to stay away so consider HER feelings...Imagine yourself in that situation? And yeah he's an idiot to be carrying on like this, but who knows if he is really telling you the truth of their situation! He's lied to her, so why wouldn't he lie to you as well! And to be honest, it's not your place to be telling him to divorce his wife right now seeing as she's got cancer. What a mess and it will only get worse if you decide to stay with him. End it now and find a single man with no drama on the side.
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