Arianna72 Posted January 1, 2007 Posted January 1, 2007 I really need some advice here I am feeling so hurt right now, I am probably giving way more background info than I need to but I don't know what I could leave out. Back in the beginning of November a girlfriend of mine convinced me that I should hang out with a long time friend of ours who I knew liked me but I had never really considered as a possible partner (just didn’t really seem my type though he was always a great guy). He and his ex had been split up since June and from everything I was told by mutual friends he was over it. When we first started hanging out he told me he was done with his ex but that he was not quite ready for another relationship and wanted to take things slowly but that he really liked me a lot. I agreed as I wasn’t even sure I was that into him and certainly didn’t want to jump right into some exclusive thing with him. (btw I am 34 he is 40) Since then he and I have spent most of our time together (he either stays at my place or me at his 3 nights or more a week, plus lots of breakfast and dinner dates the other times in the week) and he has been absolutely wonderful. He is always doing sweet things for me just because and when I had my car in the shop he came by every morning (for over a week) and picked me up even though the bus is right next to my house and I told him I was fine taking it. When I was sick he brought me soup and a bunch of movies and sat and watched them with me rubbing my feet the whole time. He calls me before he goes to bed just to say goodnight and that he misses me. I really didn’t think guys like this existed anymore. He is honestly the most wonderful man I have ever dated. We also have an incredible chemistry together that everyone around us has commented on. All of his friends have told me they have never seen him so happy and the same can be said of me. Anyone seeing the way we are together would assume that we are two people who are very much in-love. I really wasn’t expecting it to be like this with him. I really did go into this thinking it would be a short-lived but fun thing and I have now found myself really falling for this guy. Two weeks ago, he started acting kind of odd (nothing anyone but me even noticed, damn spidey senses). I asked him what was up and he said he was feeling pretty scared and like maybe he needed a bit of space because being with me made him feel like he was in a relationship again, and he still wasn’t ready for that. We talked for a long time that evening and at one point it seemed like he wanted to break things off entirely but he kept going back and forth. In the end he didn’t feel like he was ready to let things go with me but he reiterated that he wasn’t ready for to give more than he already was. I told him he could have as much space as he needed. Of course he wanted me to stay with him that night and I did. We went to breakfast the next morning and all was back to how we were before the “talk”. For the next week (week before Xmas) nothing seemed to have changed he invited me to dinner, stayed at my house, called me before bed. After all his talk of space he didn’t seem to be trying to take any and I certainly didn’t feel like it should be put on me to force him to. I spend every Xmas with my family and he knew I would be going over there xmas eve in the afternoon (yes I did tell him he was welcome to join as he knows my family and we are pretty laid back). He told me he was basically canceling Xmas this year as both his mother and father passed away in the last year (and of course the split with the ex) and he didn’t really feel very “Christmasy”. Then Xmas Eve morning he came to my house with a cup of coffee for me and a nice (and expensive) gift though he swore he was getting me nothing. We cuddled a bit till my sister showed up to get me and we talked several times that night and Xmas morning. Xmas night he and his business partner were having a party and he invited me to come. We had a wonderful time and he stayed at my house that night and we spent all the next day watching Buffy on the couch and cuddling. He went home at 11:30. I didn’t talk to him at all on Wednesday which was kind of odd, he called me Thursday and we talked for a bit, I asked him about NYE and he said he wasn’t sure what the plan was yet. Earlier in the month we had made tentative plans with our friend for NYE (which is also the friends b-day) so I was under the impression we would at least be hanging out so I assumed they simply hadn’t decided what we would be doing. I called him Friday and asked him what he was up to that evening. He said he had no plans and would call me when I got off work. He called at around 3 and told me he was getting a sore throat and asked if I could bring him some soup. We talked for a bit and I told him I could rent some movies and come by but he seemed rather like he would prefer to be alone and said I should go out and have fun. I went out with some friends and called him Saturday to see how he was doing. He said he still wasn’t feeling well and was going to stay in again. I asked about the plans for NYE to which he said he got invited to a “party” but wasn’t sure if he was going to go or not. At this point my spidey senses are totally going off and I ask if I can stop by and talk to him before I head out to shoot a few games of pool. I show up at his place and ask him what is up. He says all is well that he is just feeling a need to retreat a bit and still not feeling really well. Okay…. (not really buying that but okay). So we are sitting cuddling up and he asks me if I want a boyfriend. Clearly he wants to have another “talk”. I tell him that yes I eventually want that but there is no pressure right now. We talk for like 2 hours and things seem to be back to a good place. He has managed to convince me that I should stick it out a bit longer with him to see what happens. Even though my spidey senses are saying I may want to get out now. It is 11:00 at this point and just as I am getting ready to head out the door he says “Can I ask you something”…. “Of course you can”…. “how would you feel if I told you I am going to this NYE party with my ex” WTF… he had plenty of opportunity all week to mention this, he had plenty of opportunity during our 2-hour conversation to ask me. He springs that on me last minute not even mentioning that it would be canceling our plans or anything. I am so floored by this that I just sit there for like 10 minutes saying nothing. I so didn’t see this coming. After gathering myself together as best as I could I told him it was probably best if I just walked away from this whole thing. That I was okay with him not being ready for a relationship with me but that NYE is a time you spend with the person you are with and that it simply wasn’t okay for him to be spending it with her. I told him I really couldn't be with someone on any level (again) whose heart was with someone else. (been there done that). He swears he doesn’t want to get back with her but spending NYE together says something totally different to me. He kept talking and talking about how he was confused but had no intention of being with her anymore and how much he liked me and didn’t want to hurt me. We talked for several more hours and I made it clear that I was hurt and that he couldn’t keep going back and forth with this that he needed to just let me go. He kept asking me to please not “set this in stone” I finally put on my coat and got up to leave, he pulled me close and started kissing me and in the end I caved and couldn’t go through with actually walking out. I stayed the night there and got up this morning feeling like an idiot who can’t make up her mind. So now here I sit on NYE, he is still going to this party with her and the plans I thought we had are still cancelled, though our friend still wants me to hang out tonight. I know I need to just decide if I can or cannot live with him doing this but I just don’t know. I don’t know if I can let go of him doing this and continue to “see what might happen”, I am so hurt right now. On the other hand, he is the most wonderful guy I have ever been with and I really do care for him. What do I do? Am I making to big a deal of this? Should it really be a deal breaker? I so want him to call and say he has changed his mind but the phone still isn’t ringing.
guin_girl Posted January 1, 2007 Posted January 1, 2007 Arianna, Our stories are very similar, except the ex lives back home thousand of miles away and he lives here. They don't talk at all but he did say that he still loved her even though there was no chance of them getting back together... He started feeling things for me that he didn't realize he could feel for someone else... so now until he can give me 100%, he doesn't want a relationship, yet he treats me like a gf at times... and then cancels our date for new years... lots of mixed signals... I just give him time and space... and try to keep busy on my own... he seems to keep coming back. I did get the book "How to survive your boyfriend's divorce"... very interesting...
dropdeadlegs Posted January 1, 2007 Posted January 1, 2007 Ooooh, I would have been CRUSHED. I have somewhat of a similar story. We dated for 7 weeks (late July to mid Sept.) and it was totally WONDERFUL. I knew I had met the man of my dreams and was totally smitten! He always called me to say goodnight, tended to me in every way (soup, foot rubs, etc.) and we had also begun a physical relationship. I got text messages constantly telling me how awesome I was and how much he loved me. Then one day he didn't call at all and i had just left that morning! He didn't call the next day either and I felt compelled to text him with "Is something wrong, something just feels different." Then he calls me and tells me that he ran into his ex at the grocery store and realized he still has feelings for her. I couldn't go to work the next day because I was an absolute basket case. I tried to drive in, but could barely see because the tears were flowing so much that I turned around and went home. Thank goodness I worked with people that could understand that heartbreak is worthy of a "sick day." We were apart for 3 months and I wrote him letters daily for over a week, just explaining that I wanted to be with him so much and that I thought he was having the same feelings. He had told me he was having the same feelings. Then I wrote one stating that I thought we were meant to be together but apparently that wasn't the case because I am supposed to be with someone who wants to be with ME! I let it go. I let him go. I tried dating others but they didn't compare to HIM. Two months after we broke up, he sent me a text because he had heard that something bad had happened to me and he was concerned. Then a holiday came (Thanksgiving) and he texted that he was thinking of me. Every time I heard from him, my wound opened up again. But I was picking at that scab daily anyway. In my heart I wanted to be loved the way he loved her. That after months of being broken up, he still loved her. I had actually purchased his Christmas during our time together and had that box taunting me. In December I decided that I would go ahead and give it to him. A couple of days before Christmas I called and asked if I could stop by for a minute and drop something off. It was very uncomfortable for me because I still wanted him so badly, but I decided that I had bought the gift for him and I was going to give it regardless of our non-relationship. So I did give it to him, no fanfare, just I heard you say you wanted this and purchased it months ago. We were cordial and then I left. He called me on Christmas and again a few days later wanting me to go out with him on NYE. I went. Many would say I was stupid for doing so, but I really belonged with this man. That was two years ago and I am with him and there has been nothing but wonderful days and nights since. I am loved in a way that I have never experienced. I wanted to be loved like he loved her, yet I have no doubt that I am loved even more. Did he try to relight the flame with the ex in our time apart? I don't know, I never asked. I don't think so though because his daughter (who loves me and disliked her) probably would have mentioned that by now. I gave him the time he needed to sort things out for himself, and yes, it was painful to do so. In the end I won the challenge and while my story is probably rare, I would do it all again for this particular man. He never lied to me and was honest about his feelings. I believe that he had fallen in love with me even though he realized that he still had "feelings" for the ex. We have the most wonderful relationship I have ever been in and I look forward to a lifetime of the same. I am not saying that you should or shouldn't give your guy another chance. I am sharing my personal experience in a somewhat similar situation. Granted NYE was my celebration day for more than one reason, but he seems to be trying to be honest with you and could very well BE the man you think he is, just confused at the moment. Short relationships can have bumps and survive for the long term. My pain was worth what I gained in the long run.
Author Arianna72 Posted January 1, 2007 Author Posted January 1, 2007 Thank you so much for your story... it made me cry a bit but it gives me some hope because I really like this guy a lot.
guin_girl Posted January 1, 2007 Posted January 1, 2007 I hope my story has a fairy tale ending like yours DDL.... it's just so hard and so confusing... we just talked again this evening and he's all excited about the game tomorrow and we are invited to a party tomorrow afterwards... more mixed signals... But I still can't help but be mad about tonight... and he just doesn't understand why I'm upset... it's just another day to him...
dropdeadlegs Posted January 1, 2007 Posted January 1, 2007 I do think that both of you should be mad and hurt about tonight. I had never thought of my own story as having a fairytale ending, but it does in a way. There is a lot of talk on LS about letting go with no contact. I don't think that would have worked for my situation. My man responded pretty well to believing that I was in love with him and was having a hard time accepting that we weren't meant to be. Maybe it depends on the man, because I don't think mine is typical. As far as acknowledging feelings go he is more on the same plane with women. That does not make him less masculine by any means, just more in tune with feelings and able to express them than some men. His mother died when he was 10 and I think that made him more able to accept and cherish female attention. He is not looking for a mother, and quite able to care for himself , yet seems to appreciates a womans touch, a womans contribution more than some men. I wish there were more men like him. I have met a few here on LS that seem to have the same qualities.
Author Arianna72 Posted January 1, 2007 Author Posted January 1, 2007 The guy I am seeing is also the type to express his feelings and he does so fairly regularly. Most of the check in talks have been initiated by him, this just really threw me for a loop as I didn't have any indication that he was the type that would just cancel plans like this. I think I would have been okay if it weren't with the ex or if it wasn't NYE or.... but the whole combination just hurts. I am not sure at this point where we stand. I told him last night that I couldn't do it but then went ahead and stayed anyway. Seeing that he is not even "technically" my boyfriend right now not sure what I should do. I know I am going to wait for him to call me, just not sure what I will say when/if he does. And of course I have all next week off, I was hoping he and I would get to spend lots of time together but now.. I almost want to just go to work.
guin_girl Posted January 1, 2007 Posted January 1, 2007 yea, I had the invite to stay over last night, but I told him that as long as he thinks he still has feelings for his wife and is technically married.. that the "three" of us don't fit in his place... however, he stayed with me the night before and it was comfortable although it was like having just a buddy with me... no contact what so ever, in fact the kitty had plenty of room to sleep between us all night... good kitty... making sure we keep it platonic for now! but on the flip side, if I had stayed up there, I probably would haven't been home alone on New Years... I just, now, have to stop "whining" about it with him...
dropdeadlegs Posted January 1, 2007 Posted January 1, 2007 Ya know, it's NYE, and if it's alright with you I'd like to just co-miserate for a moment. I totally understand where you are at right now and it just plain sucks. Canceling on you on NYE was bad enough, but the addition of his spending it with the ex is almost unbearable. I wish I had something positive to offer. However, I am here with you and I hope that gives you something, even if it's not condolences. I truly wish I could wave my magic wand and ease your pain. I hope his ex kisses somebody else, anybody else, at the stroke of midnight, just to show him what a fool he has been. And I do believe he has been taken for a fool. She is his ex for a reason, and has been for quite some time. I hope he gets a whole lot of comeuppance in the next few hours. Men can be quite stupid in the ways of love, and he's due for a good kick in the senses right now. Why do women have to be the smarter gender so much of the time?
Author Arianna72 Posted January 1, 2007 Author Posted January 1, 2007 Our night last night was definetly not platonic. At one point when we were kissing he said he felt like I "wasn't really there". He touched his hand to my heart and told me if I was going to stay with him he "wanted me to be fully there". We did end up having sex and at some point afterwards he asked me if I was okay. I told him I was scared and he said "don't be scared, you have no reason to be". And still he went to this party with her. When we got up this morning things were a bit akward. He told me to have fun with whatever plans I ended up making. I said I wish I could say the same but that frankly I hoped he didn't have fun. I told him to give me a call and he was said, "I thought you told me last night not to call you". I told him that was before he changed my mind about staying. Bah.... I am still hoping for at least a call at midnight but I somehow doubt that will happen and I am just getting more and more upset knowing he is with her right now.
Author Arianna72 Posted January 1, 2007 Author Posted January 1, 2007 Thank you again.. this time your post made me smile. I too hope she kisses someone else and I hope he feels like an arse for doing this. Men can be rather dense can't they. Hopefully his friends that are there and know me will also tell him what a fool he is because there is not a one of them that doesn't think he should be with me.
guin_girl Posted January 1, 2007 Posted January 1, 2007 Arianna, Hang in there, although I don't understand the reason he is with the ex tonight, it does seem like he cares about you a lot... hopefully he will realize his mistake when you aren't by his side tonight!
dropdeadlegs Posted January 1, 2007 Posted January 1, 2007 Arriana72, and guin girl, I have asked for the insight and thoughts of someone I admire very much. My new friend IslandGirl is the best in these situations. I would do ANYTHING she recommends, as I am but a romantic at heart and know good advice when I see it. Watch the thread! Her words of wisdom are priceless! No fairy tales, I promise.
Author Arianna72 Posted January 1, 2007 Author Posted January 1, 2007 Well his best friend (who we were supposed to hang with tonight for his b-day) just called me. He wants me to still carry forward with the original plans and said he would buy me a couple drinks. He also said he thinks my guy is being a fool for doing this and that he will probably really regret it tomorrow as the best friend thinks he really likes me a lot more than he is even saying. The friend also knows the ex very well and used to date her. (he is the one who introduced them and set them up) and he says there is no way things are ever gonna work out for them at this point. He was shocked to find out that they were going to this party together. He thinks we should crash the party later but I of course declined. I will definetly be keeping an eye on the thread and I appreciate you asking for IslandGirl insight I have read many of her posts and I too admire her advice.
dropdeadlegs Posted January 1, 2007 Posted January 1, 2007 Proud of you! Taking the high road isn't always easy. Crashing wouldn't make the situation better.
Author Arianna72 Posted January 1, 2007 Author Posted January 1, 2007 Of course there is that piece of me that thinks it would be funny In the end though I would feel like a desperate fool.. and one of us is already being foolish, I certainly don't need to add to it. So I am off to have a quick drink, don't think I want to be anywhere but home when the 12:00 hour comes.. as that is gonna be the tough spot ya know. You so rock btw.. thanks for being such a great support.
guin_girl Posted January 1, 2007 Posted January 1, 2007 Thanks DDL... I know this will be a long road if I want to wait out his recovery... I know the person that I dated before his epiphany was a good match and we do have a great time when we get together... even if we are just hanging not really talking but enjoying each other's company... I have survived the night... it's 2007 here now... once the fireworks stop, I can head to bed...
guin_girl Posted January 1, 2007 Posted January 1, 2007 So I am off to have a quick drink, don't think I want to be anywhere but home when the 12:00 hour comes.. as that is gonna be the tough spot ya know. Have one for me too Arianna... hope you have fun in spite of the setback...
Island Girl Posted January 1, 2007 Posted January 1, 2007 Arriana72 - Well I read throught the thread and all of the responses. I will say the man has a way with words and can really pull on your heart strings -- "I want you to be fully there" with his hand on your heart. Boy that is movie romance stuff. BUT here's my take --- he is confused and conflicted because HE is the one who can't let go. He and his ex get into conversations where he gets caught up in his own emotions -- just like he does with you. (sorry if that stings a little) It is not that he DOESN'T honestly care about you. He just goes with whatever he is feeling at the moment. When you are in front of him it is all about you - but he has this lingering thing with her too. He feels guilty but he also thinks he is being fair and honest when he says he "isn't ready for a relationship" ---- WELL NO OF COURSE NOT. Who would be when he is speading himself thin?!! He is manipulating you -- and probably her too. He hasn't been forced to make a decision and it is not really his decision to make. He is going to NYE with his ex. I know that upsets you. You are completely right and justified. It is a hurtful thing for him to do to you especially when he talks his talk and reels you in so very well (don't think he doesn't know it). Right now you are putting everything in his court - leaving it up to him. i.e. When and if he wants a relationship with you. When and if you are important enough to him to commit to even a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship let alone the possibility of going further (which I sense that you do or may). Here's the deal: You want to be important - he is a classic chaser. He doesn't understand the bird in the hand is worth two in the bush. If you are available as you have been he doesn't value you as much as he needs to in order to overcome his back-and-forth feelings. He can see you when he wants and put you up on the shelf when he doesn't -- all the while knowing you are waiting and being 'patient' for him. The trick is to remove that. Think about it. You don't have him now so what are you losing if you pull back a little bit? Nothing. In fact, you will be sinking less emotional involvement and investment, so you will not feel so hurt and betrayed as you do now. So you do not spend the night at his house --- even though you may want to. It only allows him to keep going the same way with no real effort at resolution. He does not stay at your house. He needs to start believing you could possibly meet someone else (and someone else could be at your house with you at any given time - he's a man they just think this way). Do not be so available anytime he calls and wants to see you. If you do make plans make it in public. Go out to dinner - go see a movie -- watching movies in an environment like his house or yours only lends itself to the inevitable romantic moments that are easy to get lost in. (And then you leave feeling unsettled, insecure about where you stand, etc.) I have no doubt you do have something special. It just needs to be special enough for him to move forward - and remember we all value what doesn't come so easily. It is human nature. You set the standard with how you will be treated, what you will and won't put up with, -- and certainly being cancelled on for an ex isn't part of that criteria. Expect and demand more for yourself. Remember that if he cares for you as much as he says -- he should be "fully there" (using his own words). You deserve it. You are worth it. If he can't see that, staying around and taking the poor treatment or waiting for him to "throw you a bone" won't make him see it. There is the possibility that he will not chase you - that he won't step up to the plate and treat you better - I sincerely doubt it having tamed these guys before - but you have to be ready for that. If that IS the case what have you lost? Your wishes of being with him, empty words that have no action, and feeling miserable while he plays both sides of the fence. Believe me girlfriend, you are worth more than that and as much as you care about him there will be another. Better even because another good man will not leave you emotionally hanging in the wind. IT IS NOT UP TO HIM. IT IS UP TO YOU TO DEMAND HOW YOU WILL BE TREATED. The only thing that IS up to him is whether he'll do it or not. If he does you are WAY better off. If he doesn't you are better off than you are now wasting your time and waiting around for him to make up his mind if you are good enough to commit to or not -- because essentially that is what it boils down to.
dropdeadlegs Posted January 1, 2007 Posted January 1, 2007 The only thing I would add is some of Island Girl's own words. "Like I always told my husband when we were dating (he was a big time player before me) - if you are going to treat me badly, I have no reason to stay with you. You aren't special - I can throw a rock in any direction and hit 20 guys who can treat me badly. Show me you want me to stay with YOU by treating me like a Queen. That's what makes you special to me. That'll make me stuck to you" Aren't those words golden? Hope your drink(s) and midnight hour wer at least tolerable.
Island Girl Posted January 1, 2007 Posted January 1, 2007 Thank you DDL. It is true -- that is how I see it -- and that is what I have actually said with fantastic results. Happy New Year -- Merry drinks to all -- Good wishes and boundless hope for the New Year! I am headed out to a party - my husband just called to let me know he will be calling me at midnight so I would be looking for the call and be sure to answer the phone -- awwww!
Author Arianna72 Posted January 1, 2007 Author Posted January 1, 2007 Thank you Island Girl... think I will print out your post and read it a couple times. I do need to take a couple steps back at this point but I know that is going to be very tough. I had a great time overall last night. Our friend was really bummed that he wasn’t there with us as planned and hadn’t even called to cancel. So he and I talked for quite a bit. It certainly made me feel a bit better. He told me that the ex (who he used to date as well long long ago and is still very close with) called him not even an hour before I showed up at his house on Saturday night. He said she was very depressed. She invited our friend to go to a different NYE party with her and was crying when he turned her down. She went on and on about how she didn’t want to be alone on NYE and missed my guy so much and was angry at him for “moving on” to someone else so quickly. I have a feeling that she must have called my guy as soon as they hung up and laid some sort of very heavy guilt trip on him at the last minute that caused him to cancel our plans (though I wish he would have explained if that is the case). I know he feels very guilty for leaving her and her teenage daughter. They went through a lot in the 2 years they were together including the loss of her son, so he feels a great deal of responsibility for taking care of both of them. I know he gave her $300 to pay her bills for Xmas. It still sucks for me but at least I know he hadn’t been planning to cancel all along. After my conversation with our friend I am also fairly certain that nothing is actually going on between the two of them. Given what my guy told me, the letter he let me read that she wrote, and now what our friend told me, I think she is just having a really hard time letting go and he is having a hard time pressing the issue. He did call me last night and left me a message (didn't hear phone ring) and ended the message with "talk to you soon, love ya". I know it was probably just a slip or something but he has never ended our phone conversations or his messages like that before. I called him back a bit later and we exchanged the whole Happy NY thing but he was setting up another firework so he had to go. (he is a licensed pyro-technician among other things so they were lighting off some “real” fireworks he had made) Ohhh… and there was this very beautiful man at the bar who was all alone from out of town. I invited him to sit with us and ended up with a pretty nice NYE kiss. He wanted me to go back to his room with him and believe me I was so very tempted. Least someone wanted to hang-out with me on NYE.
Author Arianna72 Posted January 2, 2007 Author Posted January 2, 2007 Well... he still hasn't called me today. I am feeling even more hurt at this point than I did last night. I figured he would call me to at least let me know what was up. Thing is he really does treat me like a "Queen" already. Other than this cancellation and the whole "not ready for a relationship" thing I could not ask for anything more. He is a super nice guy and treats me better than any of my long term exs ever did even when we were involved. Heck I have many friends in good loving relationships who wish they were treated as well as I am. That is why I am so confused right now. I really don't want to walk away from this but I also don't want to feel as hurt as I do right now anymore. I don't know how I am going to feel if I don't get a phone call at some point today.
Guest Posted January 2, 2007 Posted January 2, 2007 HEY, LIFE ISN'T FAIR SOMETIMES BUT IF U LOOK AT THAT IN A POSITIVE WAY, YOU'LL NEAR GET HURT OVER EXPECTATIONS. for example- i really wanted to see someone on her burpday, would have made my year - DID I? NOPE. i wanted to see her on NYE 2 - did i? NOPE. am I bummed about this? NOPE. U can control what they want so u let it go - that's what i did - she obviously has other things going on in her life that are important so that's good. As long as u have stated your intent and plans for the new year, and seriously back up yer words with actiions - then you will have no probs. That's what I did and she did too. So, 2007 will be great for both - the year we both finally stop dwelling in the past and start lives with other people. We'll still hang as friends and that's kewl. And her bf/gf whatever shouldn't worry about me in a weird way - i would rather that not be yet another stress - so no worries all. its all good. stay kewl
dropdeadlegs Posted January 2, 2007 Posted January 2, 2007 Well... he still hasn't called me today. I am feeling even more hurt at this point than I did last night. I figured he would call me to at least let me know what was up. Thing is he really does treat me like a "Queen" already. Other than this cancellation and the whole "not ready for a relationship" thing I could not ask for anything more. He is a super nice guy and treats me better than any of my long term exs ever did even when we were involved. Heck I have many friends in good loving relationships who wish they were treated as well as I am. That is why I am so confused right now. I really don't want to walk away from this but I also don't want to feel as hurt as I do right now anymore. I don't know how I am going to feel if I don't get a phone call at some point today. I'm so sorry you are disappointed once again. I hope that he called at some point, but if he didn't I wouldn't be surprised. He is likely confused, not that being confused is an excuse for leaving you hanging and hurt. People often think that men are the less feeling gender, but I always say that they linger and hold on to the past for longer, and far more often than women do. We have a way of achieving closure in a different manner and moving on. To think we are thought of as the weaker sex astounds me. I believe we are far more strong in almost every aspect. You know the details of this relationship and we can only give advice based on a few paragraphs. This will work out the way it is supposed to, I only hope that it unfolds the way you want it to. Happy New Year!
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