Author kymberann Posted January 1, 2007 Author Posted January 1, 2007 The type I'm making reference to is the perfect mother. Well that's not me, never will be! Very independent, motivated and on the move. I take pride that I am raising my girls to be the same. In this day and age they have to take care of themselves FIRST and FOREMOST. It may be selfish, but that's how it is! I work 40 hours a week, from 5AM to 1PM. I am home when my girls get home from school. I sometimes get a nap, make sure my kids have something to eat, make sure they clean their room, I am certainly NOT doing it for them! Then I go and teach my classes or run in the evening. I enjoy spending my time like this. My kids have their schedule, they are old enough to take care of themselves and they spend time with their father when arranged. I wouldn't even begin to tell you what "the perfect mother" is nowadays! It certainly isn't what it used to be though.
pureinheart Posted January 1, 2007 Posted January 1, 2007 I have three. All three and a half years apart. I earned every stretch mark I got from those girls. With my first I was 200 pounds by the time she was born. LOL....I got up to 214lb's with my second.....usual weight is 120-130...got one giant stretch mark with 1st....and got a few little ones with the second...vitamin E rubbed on the very big stomach helps tremendously
bonehead Posted January 1, 2007 Posted January 1, 2007 Was it part of the marriage vows? To love, honour and keep in shape? Was buying a house that SHE likes in the vows? Where was COMMUNICATION in the vows? The last one is a HUGE issue for woman. I never VOWED to talk to her.
Trialbyfire Posted January 1, 2007 Posted January 1, 2007 See, that right there. " He gave me vows, I can let myself go " Do you think that these men would be happy if dinner wasn't on the table, his needs not met because she was busy at the spa?
stillhere Posted January 1, 2007 Posted January 1, 2007 The type I'm making reference to is the perfect mother. The one that meets all her families domestic needs, keeping the perfect house, sometimes working versus putting that time and energy towards her personal maintenance. I'm not this type of woman. I still don't understand where you are going with this argument. So a man who has a loving W at home, who takes care of all the families needs, won't cheat?
Trialbyfire Posted January 1, 2007 Posted January 1, 2007 The type I'm making reference to is the perfect mother. Well that's not me, never will be! Very independent, motivated and on the move. I take pride that I am raising my girls to be the same. In this day and age they have to take care of themselves FIRST and FOREMOST. It may be selfish, but that's how it is! I work 40 hours a week, from 5AM to 1PM. I am home when my girls get home from school. I sometimes get a nap, make sure my kids have something to eat, make sure they clean their room, I am certainly NOT doing it for them! Then I go and teach my classes or run in the evening. I enjoy spending my time like this. My kids have their schedule, they are old enough to take care of themselves and they spend time with their father when arranged. I wouldn't even begin to tell you what "the perfect mother" is nowadays! It certainly isn't what it used to be though. But that's your choice to be this way. You can't criticize her choice for being selfless.
bonehead Posted January 1, 2007 Posted January 1, 2007 Do you think that these men would be happy if dinner wasn't on the table, his needs not met because she was busy at the spa? Maybe. But it shows HE wasnt happy that she let herself go.
Trialbyfire Posted January 1, 2007 Posted January 1, 2007 I still don't understand where you are going with this argument. So a man who has a loving W at home, who takes care of all the families needs, won't cheat? The original opening post makes reference to the out-of-shape W. Perhaps she's one of these women, who knows through a single glance. Perhaps she has a right to look angry because he screws around. Who knows. Until you know what their personal situation is, it's unfair to take a glance and make a judgement.
stillhere Posted January 1, 2007 Posted January 1, 2007 Do you think that these men would be happy if dinner wasn't on the table, his needs not met because she was busy at the spa? If she was at the spa and weighed 500 lbs, i'm sure he wouldn't be too thrilled! It's not about taking time to relax, it's about letting yourself go.
Trialbyfire Posted January 1, 2007 Posted January 1, 2007 Maybe. But it shows HE wasnt happy that she let herself go. It appears that a woman in this situation is between a rock and a hard place.
Author kymberann Posted January 1, 2007 Author Posted January 1, 2007 But that's your choice to be this way. You can't criticize her choice for being selfless. I'm not criticizing anyone for being selfless.
Trialbyfire Posted January 1, 2007 Posted January 1, 2007 I'm not criticizing anyone for being selfless. Okay. At a glance, you might be.
stillhere Posted January 1, 2007 Posted January 1, 2007 The original opening post makes reference to the out-of-shape W. Perhaps she's one of these women, who knows through a single glance. Perhaps she has a right to look angry because he screws around. Who knows. Until you know what their personal situation is, it's unfair to take a glance and make a judgement. I know what you mean, but us women are the most judgemental of other women. I shouldn't say all, but many are. We size up our competition, even if they aren't "competition". We dress up for one another, not men. We try to impress other women, we want others to be jealous of us. I'm generalizing here, but you should get my point.
Author kymberann Posted January 1, 2007 Author Posted January 1, 2007 Until you know what their personal situation is, it's unfair to take a glance and make a judgement. Oh I know what their situation is like, he told me! That's one reason why I DIDN'T become involved with this guy! THen when I saw her and him together today, it all made sense!
Trialbyfire Posted January 1, 2007 Posted January 1, 2007 I know what you mean, but us women are the most judgemental of other women. I shouldn't say all, but many are. We size up our competition, even if they aren't "competition". We dress up for one another, not men. We try to impress other women, we want others to be jealous of us. I'm generalizing here, but you should get my point. Yes I do. Women can be something else.
bonehead Posted January 1, 2007 Posted January 1, 2007 It appears that a woman in this situation is between a rock and a hard place. What my point is is that KA got jumped over an observation. If she has had interaction with this man in a gym, she may have an insite into what type of woman this man finds attractive. People have put her down for that. Good chance she identified what the issue is in the marriage, and now people are saying thats wrong. Coming up with every reason in the book for this woman to have let herself go. Excuses. Pure and simple. My mom stayed in shape. I have two boys I am raising on my own. I havent let myself go. KA hasnt let herself go. SH hasnt. Its an excuse, pure and simple. Easy way out. Maybe HER EA is with food.
Trialbyfire Posted January 1, 2007 Posted January 1, 2007 Until you know what their personal situation is, it's unfair to take a glance and make a judgement. Oh I know what their situation is like, he told me! That's one reason why I DIDN'T become involved with this guy! THen when I saw her and him together today, it all made sense! I'm not certain I would believe a cake eater. She may have very good reason to be angry and unhappy with life. Why bother if he's going to continuously go prowling.
Author kymberann Posted January 1, 2007 Author Posted January 1, 2007 Hey guess what Pure, I got a tattoo about two months ago on the side of my hip, stretch mark prone area. The tatto artist said to try extra virgin olove oil and moisterizer. He said the chemicals break down scare tissue, which what stretch marks are. I noticed a difference after 4 weeks! Off the subject post! Lighten things up a bit!
pureinheart Posted January 1, 2007 Posted January 1, 2007 OMG....thank God that horrible year is gone....now to good stuff!!!!! Hey TBF, I do feel anger from you at times, although am not able to discern if it is the heat of the particular discussion...I feel hurt though, sorry if I'm way off here....was referring to others in the forum....rarely anything nice said, if at all..... So glad 2006 is gone.....
Trialbyfire Posted January 1, 2007 Posted January 1, 2007 What my point is is that KA got jumped over an observation. If she has had interaction with this man in a gym, she may have an insite into what type of woman this man finds attractive. People have put her down for that. Good chance she identified what the issue is in the marriage, and now people are saying thats wrong. Coming up with every reason in the book for this woman to have let herself go. Excuses. Pure and simple. My mom stayed in shape. I have two boys I am raising on my own. I havent let myself go. KA hasnt let herself go. SH hasnt. Its an excuse, pure and simple. Easy way out. Maybe HER EA is with food. Maybe her issue is a medical issue. We can guess all we want but a simple observation of her and some comments from a cake eater are nothing to base the judgement of a woman on.
stillhere Posted January 1, 2007 Posted January 1, 2007 Hey guess what Pure, I got a tattoo about two months ago on the side of my hip, stretch mark prone area. The tatto artist said to try extra virgin olove oil and moisterizer. He said the chemicals break down scare tissue, which what stretch marks are. I noticed a difference after 4 weeks! Off the subject post! Lighten things up a bit! I'm gonna have to try that! I was lucky, that's the only place i got stretch marks too, on my darn hips. It's easy to hide them, but ones on the tummy aren't so easy!!
Trialbyfire Posted January 1, 2007 Posted January 1, 2007 No doubt pih I do feel anger sometimes but not in this particular thread. It's fairly impersonal to me because it's not my situation but it might be the situation of others.
bonehead Posted January 1, 2007 Posted January 1, 2007 Maybe her issue is a medical issue. We can guess all we want but a simple observation of her and some comments from a cake eater are nothing to base the judgement of a woman on. She based an observation on what she saw and was told. She wasnt wrong. She didnt judge. She made an observation on the information she had. BTW, nice change of horses mid stream. Im impressed
Author kymberann Posted January 1, 2007 Author Posted January 1, 2007 Why bother if he's going to continuously go prowling. All the more reason why I did what I did today! Because he was prowling! Good points BH. If I had reported that this MM W was tall blonde and gorgeously attractive would this thread be any less relevant to our situation?
Trialbyfire Posted January 1, 2007 Posted January 1, 2007 She based an observation on what she saw and was told. She wasnt wrong. She didnt judge. She made an observation on the information she had. BTW, nice change of horses mid stream. Im impressed Just moving with the flow of the discussion.
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