thelucky7star Posted December 31, 2006 Posted December 31, 2006 I just found this message board and have read a few of your posts. You seem to help eachother a lot so I was hoping you could do the same for me. I have been in this relationship for 3 months. Although it seems like a short time, we connected on a deeper level than anyone I have ever dated before. I have worked with him for the last 7 months, so we knew eachother pretty well. When we first started talking, the conversations would last on the phone for 4 to 5 hours a night. We were very passionate together. He would surprise me all of the time, open the car door everywhere we went, and always said the sweetest things. I found myself falling for him. He had been divorced for 6 years. His ex-wife had cheated on him and gotten into drugs. He took his daughter and left her. He had full custody of his daughter...and seeing him as a father was one of the things that drew me to him. He had raised her alone from the time she was 2. She is now 8. Everytime his ex was brought up in a conversation, he would get angry. He always told me how much he hated her, and that she made it hard for him to trust other girls because of everything she had done to him. It seemed clear to me that he was done with her. His daughter had been asking for the last month or so why mommy and daddy weren't together. It was hard for him to answer those questions, and his daughter started acting out over it. Everything was going great between us. He took me to the airport on the 22nd, as I was going back home for Christmas. He was a little late coming to pick me up because he had a run-in with his ex and was very angry at her. She was causing a scene because she wanted to have their daughter on Christmas. The whole drive to the airport he was telling me how much he hated her. We kissed goodbye, and things were just fine between us. While I was home for Christmas, he only called me for about 10 minutes each day. I felt like he was being distant. I was flying home first thing on the 26th. I couldn't wait to be with him. He picked me up from the airport. The whole way home we held hands. We got back to my apartment, I gave him his Christmas present, we kissed, and then he got on his knees and told me we needed to talk. He said that his ex had a talk with him. She told him she is sober now and has been for 3 months. She told him she still has feelings for him. She wanted to be a family again. He said that he still had feelings for her. That he always wanted her to get sober, she just never had. It has been six years!!!!! He said that he wanted to try and make things work for his daughter. I am absolutely crushed. I wanted to be a part of his life. I wanted to help him with his daughter. It has only been 5 days, and it isn't getting better. He belongs with me. I treated him better than she ever will. We were good together. Why can't he see that? I don't want to get over him because I want him to come back to me. Somebody please help me with this. I don't know what to do. I have to see him everyday at work. I try my best to keep a smile on my face but inside I am dying. What do I do??
Author thelucky7star Posted January 2, 2007 Author Posted January 2, 2007 I had bought him Lakers tickets for New Year's Eve...for his Christmas present. When we broke up we agreed to go to the game as friends. On Friday, he told me that he couldn't get a babysitter for his daughter so he wouldn't be able to go. He asked if I had anyone else that I could take and I said no. He then said the only way he would be able to go is if he took his daughter. I thought about it for a while, decided to be the better person, and then told him he could have the tickets if it was his daughter that he was taking. I hadn't printed the tickets out yet, so he told me he would talk to his daughter and call me either Friday night or Saturday morning. I never heard from him. It made me really upset that he couldn't even have a little respect to call and say he couldn't go to the game. I don't care about going or not...I had already considered the tickets a loss. I just think he should have called like he said he would. I am thinking about giving him the tickets at work tomorrow and saying "Thanks for the call..." Any suggestions?? PLEASE HELP ME!!
marc from MI Posted January 2, 2007 Posted January 2, 2007 well no one has responded to you so i guess im the one that has to break it to you. you seem like a smart and sweet woman. you deserve better than this. it sounds like he has alot of baggage that is just now coming out and its a good thing this happened so early in your relationship. he still has feelings for his ex-wife which means, unfortunately, that there is no room for you. besides, would you want to share someone's heart with another? i know i wouldn't Im sorry to say this but you really dont want him to come back. Your heart is telling you this but you know deep inside that this is bad news. Yes, you had some good times with him and his daughter but his soul is obviously elsewhere. I would cut off all contact with him and try to begin healing yourself. You will find someone that appreciates your beauty inside and out. and someone that will not throw you aside the second another opportunity comes along. this guy is not worth it. As far as the work thing goes, this is why i am a strict NON-believer of work relationships. they hardly workout because you end up spending every minute together, and it can ruin the one thing that gets you relief if you were to break up. I would just go on at work as if nothing happened. Do not ignore him or you may cause drama, just treat him like everyone else at the office. say hello if he does. but DO NOT take conversation past what you would talk about with anyone else at work. If he tries to bring up your past relationship, let him know that you have moved and that there are no hard feelings, even if there may be. You need to heal yourself and find someone that deserves you!!!!!!
marc from MI Posted January 2, 2007 Posted January 2, 2007 I had bought him Lakers tickets for New Year's Eve...for his Christmas present. When we broke up we agreed to go to the game as friends. On Friday, he told me that he couldn't get a babysitter for his daughter so he wouldn't be able to go. He asked if I had anyone else that I could take and I said no. He then said the only way he would be able to go is if he took his daughter. I thought about it for a while, decided to be the better person, and then told him he could have the tickets if it was his daughter that he was taking. I hadn't printed the tickets out yet, so he told me he would talk to his daughter and call me either Friday night or Saturday morning. I never heard from him. It made me really upset that he couldn't even have a little respect to call and say he couldn't go to the game. I don't care about going or not...I had already considered the tickets a loss. I just think he should have called like he said he would. I am thinking about giving him the tickets at work tomorrow and saying "Thanks for the call..." Any suggestions?? PLEASE HELP ME!! this only proves my points further. he doesnt care.
Author thelucky7star Posted January 2, 2007 Author Posted January 2, 2007 Thanks for the advice...you are right. I am only kidding myself by thinking that he should be with me. It is just so hard to know that someone who you thought cared, doesn't. I hope I can stick to what you said...
marc from MI Posted January 2, 2007 Posted January 2, 2007 be strong dont waste a tear on this guy. suround yourself with friends and family, they will agree with what i have said. and remember... YOU DESERVE THE BEST!!!! ANY GUY SHOULD BE LUCKY TO BE WITH YOU!!!
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