Star Gazer Posted December 31, 2006 Posted December 31, 2006 Okay, so I've been seeing this guy... We have NOT had sex yet, but "ahem" other things have happened. About an hour ago (just before 8pm) he initiated a text message conversation with me about what I was up to, what my plans were for tomorrow, etc. Then he suggests "coming over later" - as in like 11p.m... and says something VERY risque about what he wants to do. My jaw dropped, I just stared at my phone. He apologized after I didn't respond, said he was kidding. I totally thought I was doing all the right things with this one - not givin' it up at least!! WHY does he all of a sudden think he's got an easy toy!?!?? I'm soooo disappointed. How do I figure out if he really WAS just kidding? Should I let him come over?
Art_Critic Posted December 31, 2006 Posted December 31, 2006 How do I figure out if he really WAS just kidding? Should I let him come over? He wasn't kidding... He was laying it out there to see what the temperature was.. You are still in total control..Have him come over and continue on.. You are still setting the pace but he was testing you and the pace you had previously set. Stick to your guns.. or at least until you feel you are ready to go to the next level
norajane Posted December 31, 2006 Posted December 31, 2006 I agree he was testing you, but I don't agree that you should let him come over. Why reward him for bad behavior?
Author Star Gazer Posted December 31, 2006 Author Posted December 31, 2006 If I let him come over, he's going to be VERY hard to resist! UGH. And then he'll think he was RIGHT about me being easy or something!!! UGH.
JLO22 Posted December 31, 2006 Posted December 31, 2006 I agree he was testing you! I would not let him come over! Not saying that you are not strong but when he get there one thing can lead to another! You are still in control and if you do let him over and he he make any moves then let him know its not that type of party Sir! Then that will set the mood in so many ways -if you only want sex from you -does he really like you (if he does he will stick around until you give it up) -he really likes You get my drift the list can go on for ever! Let us know how things went!
Island Girl Posted December 31, 2006 Posted December 31, 2006 I agree with Norajane. He souldn't come over tonight. He was testing you - the fact that you didn't respond made him back peddle to cover and say he was kidding. The 'ouch' you felt is the indication he shouldn't come over. He needs to know it must have been a serious infraction so he will think long and hard about doing that again. You're still in the driver's seat - don't worry - that is why he said he was kidding so fast. He likes you enough that when the 'uh-oh' entered his head (when you didn't answer) he wanted to fix it. You shouldn't explain why he can't come over - make it another reason. He'll get the message. Men aren't stupid.
dropdeadlegs Posted December 31, 2006 Posted December 31, 2006 You must be pretty far west of NYC! I agree about taking your temp. As for letting him come over, I guess that all depends on where your temp. actually is. Somebody has to make the first move, but it was pretty declasse to make that move by text message. Now in a relationship involving sex, that would be very sexy! A risque text can sure get my temp up!
mygirlygirl Posted December 31, 2006 Posted December 31, 2006 Okay, so I've been seeing this guy... We have NOT had sex yet, but "ahem" other things have happened. About an hour ago (just before 8pm) he initiated a text message conversation with me about what I was up to, what my plans were for tomorrow, etc. Then he suggests "coming over later" - as in like 11p.m... and says something VERY risque about what he wants to do. My jaw dropped, I just stared at my phone. He apologized after I didn't respond, said he was kidding. I totally thought I was doing all the right things with this one - not givin' it up at least!! WHY does he all of a sudden think he's got an easy toy!?!?? I'm soooo disappointed. How do I figure out if he really WAS just kidding? Should I let him come over? Don't let him come over!! I had this question a few weeks ago; a guy i have been dating asked me to hang out the next day, but i had plans already. So i said "how about thursday" and he said 'i have plans with my friends" so i said "Ok have a good time!" well thursday comes around and he emails me early in the morning "Hey, i might leave the bar early so if you are still free tonight, I can stop by to see you, probably around 10pm or so". I said "Thats ok, have fun with your friends, I have to work the next day and 10pm is a little late". I think he respected it a lot. I asked about 4 other people and every one of them said "I wouldnt let him come over". it just sounds like a booty call. he will respect you if you say NO
ls3360 Posted January 1, 2007 Posted January 1, 2007 SG, I agree with everything everyone has said. He should not come over, but your comment got my attention. No one else commented on it, so it must be commonly understood/empathized, but I don't understand it well, so I'll point it out and hope that everyone can educate me. If I let him come over, he's going to be VERY hard to resist! In your first post you suggested there was some racy activity. Then I saw this post here. It sounds to me like you are unclear about what you want. As people have said, you're in the driver's seat. If you don't want something to happen, be clear about your line and stick to your convictions. If he is honorable and worthy, he should understand that, respect that, value that and even help you defend that. But if you're wishy-washy about that and he wants something, he might just think you're being coy. If he does, he is going to push and nudge until he gets it or you finally take a strong unequivocal position. UGH. And then he'll think he was RIGHT about me being easy or something!!! UGH. I think you also have to be clear on if the goals is to avoid appearing easy or to truly hold the line. All: Am I wrong about this? Please enlighten me.
Yamaha Posted January 2, 2007 Posted January 2, 2007 What do you want to do? He might have been testing you but that doesn't mean he thinks your easy. He may like you enough to want to take that next step. How long have you been dating? Does he take the time to get to know you and really take an interest in you or is it all about him and what he can do for you?
IpAncA Posted January 2, 2007 Posted January 2, 2007 He was just seeing what he could get away with and he knew what he could and couldn't when you didn't respond right away and instead responded with the whole j/k thing.
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