LN99 Posted December 31, 2006 Posted December 31, 2006 First off, I posted this earlier as a guest in another section and realized it was in the wrong area. (Sorry about that btw). I'm a 25 yr old female. I recently just went back to school in fall to pursue an associate's degree in the healthcare field. I'm single and have been for quite some time. I decided to take time off from dating(haven't found anyone interesting anyways) to really focus on my career. Anyways, I have 3 instructors. They are all very cool and very personable. Everything has been going great. One of my instructors (who is new) is a few yrs older then me and revealed at the beginning of the year he is not married but in a long distance relationship. He would bring her up and even showed all of us a pic of her. She kinda looked like me. I thought nothing of this at the time. I was happy for him. Well as time went on in the semester, I started to notice him staring at me. Or, he would come into my other classes and say "hi" and catch him lingering around or showing up around me more, when I was in other classes with other instructors. I also kind of noticed him check me out. I never thought much of it all, until one day when he came into the lab(I was alone) and asked how I was doing. He took me by surprise and was looking at me oddly. Suddenly I realized I started to have feelings for him. I certainly wasn't looking for anythng or sending out any vibes to my knowledge. But these feelings have made me pretty nervous around him. He's noticed my nervousness and has told me to "relax" on several different occasions(when demonstrating something in his class.) He says this in a really low soft voice and usually is really close to me. Its weird and makes me even more nervous. Anyways, since then he has been staring at me a lot more. I even caught him looking at me thru this door(with w/ a window in it) while I was in my other class lecture and he was kinda half smiling. I was so surprised that I quickly looked away. Things have definately gotten awkward. Then the time came for my eval and he gave me really high marks when honestly I thought I wasn't doing so great. He started to tell me background about his career in the field and his job experiences and seemed a bit nervous. Then a few times we made eye contact and just smiled at each other. I was like "woah", butterflies and all. He told me he noticed I am a lot like him, very introverted. I was surprised he would even compare himself to me. He seems so self-confident. Ever since then whenever we have a discussion about anything, he's very agreeable with me in front of our classmates. Even repeats some of the stuff I say right after I say it. I just felt like maybe Im insane for liking him, so I started talking to one of my classmates about a guy at my work(who I was semi interested in at one time.). I found out she knows (the guy at work) also and I asked her to find out if he was single. I was like, "I don't want to ask him out if he is taken." Just as I said that, I noticed my instructor come up to us and was staring at me. He appeared like out of nowhere. I only said all this because at that point I was thinking maybe it would be best to try to date someone else to get my mind off of him. After this, I noticed that he stopped talking about his gf. People in class would ask about her and lately he just stopped talking about her. He won't even bring her up! He used to tell us about his plans to see her, and now nothing. I think thats kinda odd. Maybe they broke up? I know its wrong to like an instructor, thats why Im not sure what to do. I know it could jeopardize many things including my schooling etc. I also know he's in a LDR or at leas was. But I just can't seem to help how I feel. I never in a million years would have guessed I would ever feel this way about him, intrigued etc. He is not even really my type or what who I normally go for. But, lately he's all I can think about. I just don't know what I should do. Any suggestions? How do I deal with this? Should I just ignore this stuff?
jerbear Posted December 31, 2006 Posted December 31, 2006 I would not ignore it but there are moral things in place to prevent instructor student relationships. Especially with CURRENT students. Personally I say lay low for now and wait till after classes with him before pursuing relationship. If you like tell him you are interested but due to "integrity issues" you won't.
alphamale Posted December 31, 2006 Posted December 31, 2006 can you transfer schools?....and you may want someone to check his freezer in his basement just in case.
jerbear Posted December 31, 2006 Posted December 31, 2006 and you may want someone to check his freezer in his basement just in case. funny :lmao:
norajane Posted December 31, 2006 Posted December 31, 2006 It's very common to develop a crush on an instructor. It is completely inappropriate to do anything about it, however, especially while still his student. As for the LDR, you don't know that he isn't seeing her. He's just stopped talking about her during class. That could be because he's also realized it's inappropriate to discuss his personal life with his students. Basically, you need to step back before you get involved in some mess and get hurt.
Author LN99 Posted December 31, 2006 Author Posted December 31, 2006 Thanks for your replys you guys! I know that nothing can happen between us, but I cannot help how I feel! Trust me, I wish if anything I could control my feelings. Then, I would have chosen never to feel this way about him. Funny thing is I didn't until quite recently. I think it was because of the attention from him etc. But, its making me lose my focus at school and thats not good. I even opted a few times not to have him in the room during clinicals (we have the option of doing that). He just makes me nervous now. So, maybe its best to avoid him as much as I can. I don't think I will see him as much this upcoming semester. Thats probably a good thing. Its true, he could still be in his relationship. Its just odd because he went from talking about her to not talking about her at all. Still, either way its probably best not to look too far into it. I will just have to pursue other interests outside of school life. Thanx again. This helped me see things a little more clearly.
Author LN99 Posted January 26, 2007 Author Posted January 26, 2007 As for the LDR, you don't know that he isn't seeing her. He's just stopped talking about her during class. That could be because he's also realized it's inappropriate to discuss his personal life with his students. Basically, you need to step back before you get involved in some mess and get hurt. Ah, you were so right. Yesterday he talked about her a lot in class again. They plan on settling down when she's done with school. Oh well... In a way this solves the whole problem. I just don't understand his staring problem then. Sighs. I guess I read guys wrong.
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