mygirlygirl Posted December 30, 2006 Posted December 30, 2006 HEllo. i met a guy in november and we've been out maybe 6 times, but talk on the phone maybe every other day (he lives about an hour away so we really only hang out once or twice a week). it is pretty new still, we get along great and he seems to really like me. I had to turn him down about 4 or 5 times for dates because he asked me the day before i had already had plans, i dont ever put my friends on hold if i already have set plans ; i also keep up with my hobbies, etc, and dont break plans for him. i get the vibe from him that it disappoints him when i cant hang out but he doesnt say it - he is very confident himself and i do feel like he plays the 'rules' because there are times where he will wait a few days to call me, its like clockwork sometimes - when we hang out, he will wait two days to call me etc . but he really acts like he likes me. most of the week he calls me every single day after work, he sends me nice emails from work, etc. anyway, things seem great but it is now dec 30th and he never said a word about new years eve and it sort of is bothering me. I know he is going to the football game that is playing on new years eve day but i guess i thought hed ask me out for that night and he hasnt. He called me at 11pm last night when i was asleep and i didnt pick up because i wont pick up the phone if im already asleep lol. But im wondering, if he DOES ask me, I am going to say no ; is that what i should do? i was going to just go out with my friends, even if he asks me. IF he doesnt ask me, i dont know if i will want to talk to him when he does call again. What do you guys think? What would you do in this situation? i know its only been 2 months and we've only gone out 6 times, but we talk on the phone so much that i guess i thought that he would ask me out for NYE and im a little confused. How would you guys act in this situation?
Pyro Posted December 30, 2006 Posted December 30, 2006 If you already have plans with your friends, don't break those plans. This guy had plenty of time to ask you about NYE, but instead he waits until the day before.
IpAncA Posted December 30, 2006 Posted December 30, 2006 If you want to go out with him then go. If not then tell him that you already made plans or maybe invite him to come along.
Author mygirlygirl Posted December 30, 2006 Author Posted December 30, 2006 If you already have plans with your friends, don't break those plans. This guy had plenty of time to ask you about NYE, but instead he waits until the day before. I dont have preset plans, all my friends are going to be with the guy they are dating so i sort of want to just stay in; NYE is so depressing! ugh i dont know why this bugs me so much, it is "new" but i still thought he'd ask me to do something :-( thanks so much 'The riddler"
Author mygirlygirl Posted December 30, 2006 Author Posted December 30, 2006 I dont have preset plans, all my friends are going to be with the guy they are dating so i sort of want to just stay in; NYE is so depressing! ugh i dont know why this bugs me so much, it is "new" but i still thought he'd ask me to do something :-( thanks so much 'The riddler" i decided if he does ask im going to say no. I guess i feel like if he doesnt ask me, then should I still talk to him if he calls next week? I feel sort of stupid talking to him after this weekend. Would you?
Pyro Posted December 30, 2006 Posted December 30, 2006 I dont have preset plans, all my friends are going to be with the guy they are dating so i sort of want to just stay in; NYE is so depressing! ugh i dont know why this bugs me so much, it is "new" but i still thought he'd ask me to do something :-( thanks so much 'The riddler" Maybe that is what the call was about. Well than I guess you have two options: stay in or see if he has plans for NYE. It still bothers me because if I were him, I would have asked you about this weeks ago.
Author mygirlygirl Posted December 30, 2006 Author Posted December 30, 2006 Maybe that is what the call was about. Well than I guess you have two options: stay in or see if he has plans for NYE. It still bothers me because if I were him, I would have asked you about this weeks ago. The riddler thanks. I guess im just really disappointed; the guy acts like he likes me and calls me almost every day, and now w/ nye , nothing . im thinking of just not talking to him anymore after this; i guess i feel a little hurt. thanks
Author mygirlygirl Posted December 30, 2006 Author Posted December 30, 2006 is this a guy i should probably stop dating?
norajane Posted December 30, 2006 Posted December 30, 2006 If he's going to the Bears/Packers game, I don't think it lets out until 11pm or so. He may have thought you wouldn't want to hang around waiting for him until then to go out. It was a sudden change in schedule, so he wouldn't have expected it and doesn't want to put you on the spot by asking you to wait around, or thought you'd likely have other plans. Talk to him if he calls. You have nothing at all to lose by talking to him, and could lose a guy who likes you if you hold on to your pride and disappointment. As for what to do NYE, if you don't want to be out with your friends, pamper yourself. Take a long bubble bath with music and champagne, give yourself a facial, do your nails, rent a good movie or two, and stock up on your favorite snacks. You'll be all relaxed and refreshed for the new year.
IpAncA Posted December 30, 2006 Posted December 30, 2006 I am surprised that neither one of you has talked about this. If he's going to the game tomorrow then it looks like he has something he's doing and if he's going with others then it's possible that he will be with them. Who knows. Why don't you call and ask him what he's doing tomorrow night?
Author mygirlygirl Posted December 30, 2006 Author Posted December 30, 2006 If he's going to the Bears/Packers game, I don't think it lets out until 11pm or so. He may have thought you wouldn't want to hang around waiting for him until then to go out. It was a sudden change in schedule, so he wouldn't have expected it and doesn't want to put you on the spot by asking you to wait around, or thought you'd likely have other plans. Talk to him if he calls. You have nothing at all to lose by talking to him, and could lose a guy who likes you if you hold on to your pride and disappointment. As for what to do NYE, if you don't want to be out with your friends, pamper yourself. Take a long bubble bath with music and champagne, give yourself a facial, do your nails, rent a good movie or two, and stock up on your favorite snacks. You'll be all relaxed and refreshed for the new year. Thanks i think i might do that! (pampering) I dont know why i get so upset when i stay home alone on NYE, it really is depressing lol. but i think i will do that! I know he made the plans for the football game before he met me; his friend got him the tickets the week we met i think, i remember him going to pick the tickets up. It is the eagles game in PHilly, i thought that game was earlier, so i guess thats why im a little hurt.
suchislife Posted December 30, 2006 Posted December 30, 2006 It could be as simple as he is not ready. He might really like you, just wants to go slowly. Make sure you are taking care of your own life, and take one step at a time.
Author mygirlygirl Posted December 30, 2006 Author Posted December 30, 2006 the more i think about it , the more mad i am; he didnt even ask me out for this weekend at all, havent seen him since last wednesday, i think im just going to do my own thing for the next few weeks.
norajane Posted December 30, 2006 Posted December 30, 2006 I know he made the plans for the football game before he met me; his friend got him the tickets the week we met i think, i remember him going to pick the tickets up. It is the eagles game in PHilly, i thought that game was earlier, so i guess thats why im a little hurt. I don't see how you can blame him for going to the game if he made his plans before he met you! Game tickets are expensive, and he's obviously a football fan, so you're expecting a lot for him to cancel his plans just so he could be with you. It's also not his fault that you thought the game was earlier. You already knew he was going to the game, so you shouldn't have had any expectations of spending NYE with him in the first place. As for why he hasn't seen you this weekend, it's the holidays and people have a lot of obligations, family and otherwise, this time of year. He did call you - have you even called him back? Perhaps he was calling to make plans with you for another time.
IpAncA Posted December 30, 2006 Posted December 30, 2006 is this a guy i should probably stop dating? Why would you want to stop dating him?
Author mygirlygirl Posted December 30, 2006 Author Posted December 30, 2006 I don't see how you can blame him for going to the game if he made his plans before he met you! Game tickets are expensive, and he's obviously a football fan, so you're expecting a lot for him to cancel his plans just so he could be with you. It's also not his fault that you thought the game was earlier. You already knew he was going to the game, so you shouldn't have had any expectations of spending NYE with him in the first place. As for why he hasn't seen you this weekend, it's the holidays and people have a lot of obligations, family and otherwise, this time of year. He did call you - have you even called him back? Perhaps he was calling to make plans with you for another time. Im not blaming him for going to the game!! i just thought that the game was over in 4 hours lol, the game is at 5pm so was wondering about that. i didnt say i was mad about nye, i was asking if i shoudl be upset; im just a little hurt about him not making plans. i didnt call him back because he called me at midnight last night and didnt leave a message; in my eyes for all i know it was a booty call ; i dont respond to midnight calls anymore; i did with my last boyfriend and it was always a mistake. i never said that i was mad lol, i did say in my last post i was mad because i thought hed at least ask me to do something this weekend; he had his family over all last weekend and said they all left on friday.... i am not mad, just asking if i should be hurt, becasue i cant help but feel a little hurt, thats all.
Author mygirlygirl Posted December 30, 2006 Author Posted December 30, 2006 all im saying is that maybe because ive been burned before by people using me, and then disappearing around the holidays - i feel like this is a common thing w/ guys ive dated; they are around all year and then holidays they disappear, im not sure why this happens to me but i guess i have my guard up this time. thanks, i guess im just overreacting because of my past
norajane Posted December 30, 2006 Posted December 30, 2006 You have a right to your feelings, and if you feel hurt, that's ok. But if you had wanted to spend NYE with him, you could have mentioned it or asked him if he wanted to join you and your friends, too. I'm just saying, if we never cut people any slack, we'll all end up alone because people don't always live up to our expectations - they're human and not capable of always behaving in ways that we want them to. If you like this guy, and it sounds like you do or you wouldn't care what he was doing, then give him an opportunity to develop a longer relationship with you before getting upset that he doesn't meet your expectations. It's a very new relationship, after all.
Author mygirlygirl Posted December 30, 2006 Author Posted December 30, 2006 You have a right to your feelings, and if you feel hurt, that's ok. But if you had wanted to spend NYE with him, you could have mentioned it or asked him if he wanted to join you and your friends, too. I'm just saying, if we never cut people any slack, we'll all end up alone because people don't always live up to our expectations - they're human and not capable of always behaving in ways that we want them to. If you like this guy, and it sounds like you do or you wouldn't care what he was doing, then give him an opportunity to develop a longer relationship with you before getting upset that he doesn't meet your expectations. It's a very new relationship, after all. Ok thanks, thats all i was asking in my first post, was i right to feel upset about it. maybe because last weekend i didnt hear from him at all either, i got a text from him christmas eve, but nothing christmas day, nothing the rest of the weekend, and then a few emails this week; i guess i just feel a little lonely around the holidays, thanks for your help
pinksugah Posted December 31, 2006 Posted December 31, 2006 i didnt call him back because he called me at midnight last night and didnt leave a message; in my eyes for all i know it was a booty call ; i dont respond to midnight calls anymore; i did with my last boyfriend and it was always a mistake. sorry this is off topic.. but can you explain why?? I always respond when my bf calls me even when i'm sleeping but when i call i get disappointed.
Author mygirlygirl Posted December 31, 2006 Author Posted December 31, 2006 sorry this is off topic.. but can you explain why?? I always respond when my bf calls me even when i'm sleeping but when i call i get disappointed. You mean explain why I dont answer? Well, I feel like if you are sleeping and a guy calls you at midnight, and you answer, you are not respecting yourself enough. I mean if you are asleep, it is disrespectful in my eyes for a guy to call you at midnight. if you continue to answer when he calls in the middle of the night, he will continue to do it. If you want him to call you before you go to sleep, then dont answer it when you are asleep and it should force him to call you when he knows he can get a hold of you. I turn my phone on silent when I go to bed, or turn it off. i actually turn it on silent around 10pm because the guy im dating knows that I work early in the morning and that i usually am in bed by 10pm, so even if i am up, if he calls after 10pm i wont answer it. If a guy wants to get a hold of you, he should do it earlier lol
Author mygirlygirl Posted December 31, 2006 Author Posted December 31, 2006 wow this really threw me for a loop; he texted me this morning to say "morning sweetie" and then left me a message about an hour ago saying "wanted to wish you a happy new year, im assuming you're partying up there where you are, we sold the tickets and hanging down here on the beach tonight, going to this one couples house for new years". This is bugging me so bad, no invite at all. im assuming they sold the tickets days ago and he never asked me what i was doing for nye....i feel so stupid for thinking this guy liked me
moman Posted January 1, 2007 Posted January 1, 2007 Okay I think you should relax here; there is no committment for spending NYE with this guy. I'll be honest, I didn't invite the girl I just started dating to a NYE party with me because I didn't want a date. I wanted to go with my friends, and although she has met most of them and does get included from time to time, I wanted this to be a guys' night without having to worry about keeping her occupied as well. It worked out okay because I met a really pretty girl who I might call sometime....oops I shouldn't have said that
lone she-wolf Posted January 7, 2007 Posted January 7, 2007 It worked out okay because I met a really pretty girl who I might call sometime....oops I shouldn't have said that Hey Girly-Girl....I think what the above poster wrote is EXACTLY what your guy was trying to do......ya know, have his back-burner chick (you) satisfied with a LAME TEXT MESSAGE, while he is at a really cool beach party, trying to score a "happy new year" piece of tail. Ya know what? While he may be totally within his "rights" to do this; I think it IS a sign of just how important you are to him. ALSO, I think guys who try to be sly on this type of thing, deserve to loose-out on what THEY screwed up.
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