dansmith2373 Posted December 30, 2006 Posted December 30, 2006 I developed feelings for a female co-worker. She recently broke up with a long-term boyfriend (with him for about 8 months) and I told her how I felt. She said she was not ready for a relationship, but thought it could be a possibility down the road. I am glad I got that off my chest. However, I am still puzzled as to what she thinks of me. We remain close emotionally, there is some light touching, etc. However, she does not seem to want to do much with me outside of work. She rarely talked about her boyfriend (or potentials), she never talks about girls with me (e.g. you should go out with someone), She claimed that she really never thought (positive or negative) about a further relationship between the two of us, even though people have told us to our face we are like husband/wife. She rarely complements me, but never says kiss of death things like "you're just a good friend" or "you are like a brother" I know she cares deeply for me, but she has not expressed it. Any thoughts?
IpAncA Posted December 30, 2006 Posted December 30, 2006 I would hang back and see what she does. She just got out of a realtionship and may need some time before she can date again.
gfto Posted December 30, 2006 Posted December 30, 2006 She said she was not ready for a relationship, but thought it could be a possibility down the road. She rarely complements me, but never says kiss of death things like "you're just a good friend" or "you are like a brother" "Not ready for a relationship, but could be a possibility down the road" is one of those kiss of death things.
LN99 Posted December 30, 2006 Posted December 30, 2006 I would be more worried if she wanted to start dating you right after breaking up with her bf. Then, All you would be is a rebound. Give her time and space to think things through. If she is interested, she will let you know. Just don't dwell on it. You did your part and let her know how you feel. Now the ball's in her court.
Genji Posted December 31, 2006 Posted December 31, 2006 First mistake was telling her how you felt. Second, she doesn't like you.
Splodge Posted December 31, 2006 Posted December 31, 2006 For what its worth, from my limited experience... I think that if she truely liked you then she would want to spend time with you outside of work. But saying she isn't ready for a relationship at this point (i.e. very recent after break-up) is not significant either way - she could mean it genuinely or she could mean just not with you. This girl is telling you she needs time and space - give this to her. The worst thing you can do is suffocate her with your attention at this point. Don't pander to her. Back off a little, especially with the romantic advances - still remain in touch with her - just not so much - and don't be her lapdog if you really want to be with this girl eventually. After you give her space - see how she reacts. If she initiates a lot of contact with you then start to hang out and see how it goes. If she stays out of contact, maybe you can contact her to see how she is doing (nothing too emotional - think what you would say to a friend). Then judge her reaction from this in terms of returning contact to you. Overall, back off the advances and judge her reaction from that. Don't give yourself to her on a plate (this is weak) - demand something in return and let her come back after you if/when she is ready.
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