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Which should I do first?


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Posted

Hi everyone. I'm hoping you guys can help me out. I've known this woman for a little under a year, but we've only gotten closer in the last few months. You could say that we're dating, but not officially in a relationship. I guess because we haven't seen each other all that often (until as of late). But anyway, I want to tell her I love her. I know she feels the same way and has been hinting at it. I also want to ask her for a committed relationship. Which should I do first? And can I do both on the same day/night?

 

Thanks for all your help!!

Posted

Telling someone you love them before you're even officially "dating" is often a mistake. Ask her how she feels about dating each other exclusively in a committed relationshp with you first. Then, give it a while to see how that works out...THEN tell her you love her when the moment is right.

 

Good luck to you!

Posted

You need to make sure she is where you are. Ask for a committed relationship. Wait until you've established the relationship & made it stable. Then tell her you've loved her since before you dated. PLease don't make the mistake of scaring her away. It will take months for you to make the relationship secure enough to tell her such things, not minutes, so don't bring it up while you're asking her for committment.

Posted

If a guy I was just "dating" told me he loved me, I would be a bit freaked out.

 

Why not do what the others suggested and see where she stands with having an exclusive relationship? Then once you establish that, THEN tell her how you feel about her. Oh yeah, and please don't do both in the same night. Maybe you can just say something like "I love being around you."

Posted

Telling someone you love them after a few dates would be a great way to get rid of her.

Posted

If you hold out for twenty, she'll chase you for five.

 

Heard this in a movie (can't remember the title).

Posted

Oh....wow. I dated a guy who was way too serious too soon....and I fell madly in love with him.

 

He almost lost me a few times, though.

 

Definitely ask her to be exclusive first. Definitely wait a while after that before using the l-word. Most guys have a hard time with this stuff (I think) and so if you bust it out too soon, she'll think you're some kind of freak. Later, when you tell her that you knew so early and agonized about when you could say it because you wanted to so early and so desperately.....later, when you know she's so in love with you, too...she'll think it's sweet and cute.

 

If you tell her now, I would expect her to be finished with you or at least take a huge step back. In the beginning you have to play it a little cool.

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