Parsley Posted December 30, 2006 Posted December 30, 2006 Right...so my boyfriend broke up with me on Wednesday. At the moment I'm a state. I had a break up in April which was nowhere near as bad as this, because I wasn't in love with him anymore...but this guy I still very much was...am...I don't know. The thing is - for the last 2 months or so I'd thought things weren't right, but dismissed it all, blaming it on the fact that I had just gone on the pill and I was having trouble at uni, and that it was long distance. I've cried I'd say every day since the beginning of november, save for about 2 weeks totalling up all the random days I didn't - and when I cried, it was always about him. But I never let myself believe that it was him that was making me cry...to me it was the way I was overanalysing pointless things and seeing problems that just weren't there. I find out on Wednesday that the whole time he *was* ignoring me and treating me badly, but he still let me believe I was the problem. I apologised to him on so many occasions for 'acting weird and clingy' and told him that I thought it was my pill and all that, and never once did he say it was him. He let me drive myself crazy, ignoring my friends, and ignoring all my instincts that things just weren't right. Somehow last week we ended up sleeping together (before we broke up) and he admits that he'd been thinking about breaking up with me for awhile, and he really regrets what happened, but he was drunk. That...I can forgive...we all do stupid things when we're drunk. But the next day he reassured me (I'd brought up my insecurities again) and we carried on. He definitely wasn't drunk the next morning...so why would he do that to me, knowing he was going to end it? And I wouldn't feel so bad about it...if it were the first time it had happened to me. When I broke up with my old ex in April, I had been feeling from January that things were terrible between us, but I put it down to me being girly and seeing things that weren't there. I ignored myself, and all the advice my friends gave me. So now I don't know how to feel about anything. How can I possibly trust someone again when the last two people I loved let me believe I was in the wrong, when it was them? I gave him so much...I lost my virginity to him and spent so much time doing things just to make him smile, and now he says that from the start he pretty much thought it would fail because I was going to uni. After the first break up I decided to be strong, and not let what happened before affect me this time. And now the same thing has happened, but worse and I just don't know what to do. I feel like I'll meet someone but then end it just because of some tiny thing because now I'm too scared to ignore what my heart tells me. My previous ex and I now are back to being good friends, we can even talk about when we were together without it getting awkward, and we have consulted each other for advice about relationships etc. I thought when this boyfriend and I first broke up that we could eventually be friends - but since then, since going over everything that's happened, I'm seriously doubting I'll be able to even be in the same room as him, because he has hurt me so very much. Sorry it's long...once I start typing I can't seem to stop...and it's a lot more preferable to crying which is my only other main activity at the moment.
Guest Posted December 30, 2006 Posted December 30, 2006 At least if I'm still fighting for her, I won't be forgotten" Dear when she bought the townhouse she has already forgotten about you.. apparently she does not want to be remembered and she does not want to work on the relationship.. So I think you are wasting your time, efforts and emotions on a lost cause... Don't let your guilt rule you, she is as much fault in this as you are, but her having an affair and moving out shows you that this marriage has came to a conclusion for her. Be strong... the road of healing is not going to be easy.. but a 100 miles journey starts with the first step./.. your first step would be admitting and accepting that your marriage has ended, but realize that it is not the end of your world. Time heals all wounds.. Best of luck... You know what, you questioned her faith, and didnt accept her totally. By the way, your l love you then became lip service. You aren't good enough as a man for her, and I want to let you know that you were so lousy as a partner that she was willing to take risk seeing other offers out there even when she was taken with kids! That is how much you sucked. Correct, I am still in love with the "old" wife not the new wife. I could never take her back the way she is. I thought for sure she would come around to her beautiful selfless Christian self by now. I just need to somehow forget her. Thanks. Most woman want a real man not some wussy that begs for them back. Woman like a man for being a strong independent man and puts his foot down. Men on the other hand want sweet caring feminine woman. So if your not a real man who respects himself you can't keep a woman. Stop being a baby and give it up. Divorce is a hard thing to go through. It takes two to make a marriage work. Please try to move on without her as she has done. It will take time and the pain will not go away over nite. You can't make someone love you. The sooner you realize that she is not coming back the sooner you can move on. Good luck and God
Guest Posted December 30, 2006 Posted December 30, 2006 MINE... There is this married woman, in her late 20s, whom I work with. We have been going out outside of work and her clueless husband doesn't know about it. She brought up the idea of me fathering her children and I am worried about the possibility of paying child support. Is there any chance that I would have to pay child support, or would her husband be stuck with the payments no matter what? Of course you would be responsible. Just because she is married doesn't put that responsibility on the husband. Shame on you for cheating!!!!! You better Stop seeing her and get your priorities straight. Why are you trying to break up a marriage? Would you like to be in his shoes? What goes around comes around. You remember that. You will have more than you ever bargained for. Stop this now before you are way over your head. Pray for forgiveness and find someone who is not taken and who can give you a relationship
theplastickid Posted December 30, 2006 Posted December 30, 2006 if like you said you did every right for him, leave him for a while and maybe he will realise what he has lost. This is what I am doing to my ex.
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