Think its time for full NC

[demilde]

I did send the ex a couple of small Christmas presents, nothing expensive, mushy or romantic, just something nice and would make her laugh. Got a text saying they were tremendous and a sign off of lots of love and a loads of kisses.

 

Initially I was all for a friendship and just see how it goes but it appears to me its a friendship at her convenience and to be honest I can't be @rsed with that so I ain't gonna reply to anything anymore. Sure it will be strange cos I am usually polite, so if someone calls, emails,texts etc I will reply but enough is enough.

[confucious]

Good thinking Demilde!!! I think one of the hardest things to recognize is when someone ELSE has control of the relationship, that things happen at thier convenience and thier convenience only!! Whether it is selfishness on thier part or just the fact we love/care for them more, the result is the same - we lose empowerment.

 

I personally know I can never maintain a relationship with exes I have REALLY cared for until maybe years after - otherwise it just hurts...especially if they send kisses and "lots of love".

 

Let her know, gently, that you are not satisfied with this new relationship and you would rather go NC. After that not answering or deleting mails is not rude but just exactly what you said you would do. I don't know who broke up with who, but does it really matter??

 

Good luck mate.

[chryssy83]

I agree...you need to tell her SOMETHING before you start no contact so that she doesn't think you are hurt or something. That will just make her go into panic mode and think you're a jerk when it turns out you are fine, just not responding.

[demilde]

Thanks for the advice, I had wondered if it best to write a letter explaining my thinking rather than just appear rude. So guess I will just do that at some point. Its not her loss, its our loss, but I will move on for sure.

[chryssy83]

If you go with a letter, make it short.