one Posted December 29, 2006 Posted December 29, 2006 Heres the situation, I have had a GF for 5 years who has always been kind and reliable and looked out for me. I also have a best friend who is a girl and and I really care about. The best friend and me have always been really close and we had a bit of a fling which never really came to anything. About September she said to me she loved me and wanted us to be together and I said I could not a the moment cause my GF had some health issues (she needed cat scans etc) Anyway around a month ago my friend came up to me, cuddled me and said she never wanted to see me again! I was in total shock as we were so close and burst out crying. She got really nasty and said she hoped my GF died and I kill myself, So anyway my GF only needs a small op (nothing to worry about) and we had a big fall out. For the last month I have been trying to sort it out with the best friend who I do really care about. We started talking every day but one min she loves me then she hates me, then she cuddles me then she tells me to go away forever and its seriously winding me up. An example is on xmas day she asked me to be with her for a few hours, we got really close then the next morning i got the "big mistake" chat. She also has an issue that all the girls i associate with are very good looking and she is not as pretty as some of them. I said to her I dont care what she looks like its her I love but she says she thinks I would cheat with them. The biggest problem came yesterday when her best friend (who is a model) chatted to me on MSN. My best friend had issues with us talking as her pal is a flirt and trys to pull any guy she meets. So anyway we spoke everything and it seemed me and the pal had an understanding that she would not flirt with me and would respect my best friend at all times etc. She asked me not to tell my best friend anything and i aggreed as i knew it would make her feel we betrayed her (even if i was just trying to make things right with the pal) So this morning my best friend called and told me that her pal told her everything, that we were chatting for hours and a lot of rubbish. She also told her what i said she should not use her looks to upset my best friend So now my best friend has told me were finished for good and if i want the pal I can have her. I told her the pal means nothing but that never helped. So now my Best friend is going out tonight with another guy and her pal is telling her to keep away from me. Mt best friend looks up to the pal and does anything she says. So what should i do? Should I just walk away from everything we had and let her be manipulated by her pal or do i try and win her back?
chryssy83 Posted December 29, 2006 Posted December 29, 2006 I'm confused...are you asking about how to get with the "best friend" or for help with your girlfriend?
shoulderbunny Posted December 31, 2006 Posted December 31, 2006 Your intentions to stay with your "girlfriend" only until she finished her medical stuff seemed like the honorable thing to do, but the delay in dumping her after your best friend's confession was your mistake. The waiting must have really damaged her self-esteem and she may have blamed it on her image. She ended up backlashing on you and wishing your girlfriend dead, and has since suffered inadequacy around other girls you both may hang out with. Now it is your job to pick up her self-esteem again and show her how much you really do want to be with her. But you did a terrible job of that by not listening to her requests -- not to talk to her pal, yet you go off and talk to her for hours! It doesn't matter that you were talking about things to help her, just that you were entertained talking to her and that you made it a secret that she would not say anything. The promise at the end sounds the most sketch, "lets promise not to say anything to (insert best friend's name)". If you should be making cute pacts with anyone it should be the girl you intend to date, not with her friends. Now the best friend thinks you and the pal have something going on, and for good reason. Don't talk to the pal, and don't give the pal the satisfaction of being the messenger. In fact, do all that you can never to talk to the pal again until things are sorted out. Now go set something up for you guys to have a great time. Go buy her an outfit and say "put this on, we're going to dinner" and take her out and i dunno research a great joke so you can tell it during dinner. While at dinner, steer clear of the pal drama, but if it arises say this: that you don't think the pal is even pretty, cite something wrong with her physique and personality, that you could live with never seeing her again, but since she is who you like and that's her friend - you gotta do what a man's gotta do. This should help. Be a man of action, and stop foolin around! good luck <3
Author one Posted January 1, 2007 Author Posted January 1, 2007 I started talking to her again and all seemed good until last night when I got a call from my BF to tell me the pal had told her a lot more stuff we chatted about on MSN. It was silly stuff about her job, family etc but my Best friend was going crazy. So anyway this was about 6pm on New Years Eve and about 9 i called her when she was with her two pals and two guys. They were all going to a club together but they were all shouting abuse at me about she only wanted me for $$$ etc. She like an idoit scared to stand up to them was shouting even more abuse that the pal was feeding her, and this was all from a girl who 5 weeks ago would do anything for me, tell me anything and never hurt me So i went out and had a pretty crap time and was really worried she would be ok cause of bad weather. I called he at 4am and she was with the same guys! she says all 5 slept in the same room but i could only hear the guys So anyway at this point i was really annoyed and never slept all night and got her on the phone about 10am and she started calling me names and that. Then i said out of the blue I said lets meet up and she wispered to me OK! this was when the pals were not listening. So im still in a situation, she is been manipulated by the pals (who hate me cause I have a good job and can afford to buy her cool stuff) and I can say nothing against them. They are turning her into a slapper and I dont know if i should just tell her to get lost and move on.. I love her more than anything in the world but shes just being so evil and does nothing but hurt me on a daily basis
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