joriel Posted December 29, 2006 Posted December 29, 2006 Four months ago when my ex-girlfriend dumped me b/c she had greener pastures syndrome for a guy who was about to get married to someone else I was confused. Hell, I was angry. Two weeks later when I found out that she was "hanging out" with someone totally different (Aaron), I was crushed. Fortunately for me our mutual friends all became my friends and were an unwavering wall of support. Over the last four months I've been moving on, seeing other people, and getting my life back together. I thought I was doing well. And then came Christmas. Actually, first she called. She hadn't called in months. In fact, the only contact we've had is her texting me and then not replying to my responses. Well, that and her IM'ing me because she needed someone to talk to about her mom being ill. So why did she call? She said that she would be in my area the next day and wanted to know if we could have breakfast. I told her that I had an appt. and wouldn't be able to make it. She went on to ask if I was happy that she called. Then she explained that she's quitting her job to go travel for a year. Just to be sure that I knew his name, she mentioned hanging out with Aaron about 5 times in 10 minutes. She asked about everything she could think of, including each of my family members and classes. I answered more annoyed than anything else but figured that I would just put the phone call behind me. So why is it that 2 weeks later I still can't get her out of my head? I had gotten past this. For weeks I would only think about her once or twice a day, and even then only for a moment. How did I go from such a good place in my recovery back to this angry person who wishes he had never met her? How do I get past this? And what the hell does she want? Why call me or my friends (whom have made it clear to her that they think she's a douchebag) and ask why I don't call her to hang out when I'm in town? Why text me the next day to say, "Hope to c u soon"? Why call and mention Aaron's name every 2 minutes just to be sure that I know it? Is this some sort of sick game? Is she looking for a response from me? Is she waiting for me to "break" first? I guess I'm writing in hopes that someone can explain her ridiculous actions and offer some suggestions as to what I should do next. If she doesn't want me then why all the interest in my life after 4 months? Why is she trying to make me jealous about a guy whom I'm told by her brother is one of the dumbest people he's ever met? What should I do ? How do I get back to that good and positive place of healing that I was in just 2 weeks ago? Any thoughts would truly be appreciated.
Poboy Posted December 29, 2006 Posted December 29, 2006 do you want her in your life or you want to move on... if its the latter, when she contacts you again , let her know exactly how you feel and she will get the point... you should have done that the 1st time she called up if you dont want anything to do with her ... better late then never
Guest Posted December 29, 2006 Posted December 29, 2006 You need to forget you met her..seriously. Do not have any contact. Her behaviour is sick, and she needs to feed her ego. Trust me, her life is not going as swimmingly as she wants you to believe. She needs to call you and exagerate everything in her life just to make herself feel better. There is no reason to hurt someone the way she is hurting you..and she knows what she is doing.
silentcharon Posted December 29, 2006 Posted December 29, 2006 Welcome back, J- She's playing sick games with your mind and heart. She will continue to do so if you let her- tell her not to contact you anymore. Unfortunately there's no magic trick to go back to where you were in healing terms, sometimes one must start all over again. Hang in there
In Sync Posted December 29, 2006 Posted December 29, 2006 Look, it's real simple..Coping and healing after a breakup is a B*tch. So if you do manage to get your mojo back why F it up by continuing contact with the person who messed you up in the fist place. Forget the ex. Her actions are purposely meant to mess your head up...so by staying in contact with her is only going to screw you up. Simple. Don't make it more complicated than it is. That's the reality. Breakup are sad and they hurt. But you bring more heartache by staying in touch and repicking a scab. If you want a soap opera keep engaging in the life of your ex...that means hearing about who she seeing by firends or her family. No Contact means no contact.
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