Guest Posted December 29, 2006 Posted December 29, 2006 I need some advice because I am really at a crossroads. I have a great husband, we have been married for 6 years and we live together in a great home and we have 2 wonderful children. a few months back, my parents were on vacation and i was housesitting for a couple of weeks and hubby didn't mind because he was working on a big project and i needed some time and space anyways. well one night i called my friend who was coming to hang out, she's married but having an affair, and was actually going to stay here so they could have fun and for some reason i asked her if she knew anyone that would like to perhaps enjoy a weekend with me - i don't know why i said that but its like i just went blank. so, the three of them came over and i was immediately attracted to this guy and all night i made advances to him and around 9 we went into the bedroom and had sex. it was the first time in over 6 years i was with another man, and it felt great. i enjoyed every minute of it and did things i never would have with hubby. there was not a single moment where my thoughts drifted to him, and i started thinking i would start having an affair with this man - a FWBs if he wanted too. So, the next day, it hit me and I felt so cheap. I had betrayed everything I believed in, who I was, and it hurt because on one hand i felt gross but on the other hand i wanted the affair and i knew i would keep them both - so i started thinking if hubby found out i would tell him i was drunk and didn't even know i was with him. but how would being drunk explain how i took off all my clothes, how would that explain being alert enuff to function and enjoy but too drunk to remember. so, after the housesitting and making plans with my affair man, i returned home and had sex with my hubby and for the first time in my life i realized what an affair does to you - when hubby touched me i felt nothing, i went on remote - no emotion - and he knew it, felt it, and he got out of bed, stared out the window and i saw him crying and i said nothing - my heart pounded. he went downstairs - and i packed my bags and went to live with my affair man, and that weekend he beat me up and i left him and ended up sleeping with two of my hubby friends, JB, and MB, and then returned to an abusive ex, and i live with him now and i never saw my hubby again.
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