Guest Posted December 29, 2006 Posted December 29, 2006 i need some advice about something. right now, i am a single man, 39, great job, new home, no debt, happy with myself and positive outlook on life. never been at a better space in my noodle in all my life. so, this woman i used to be with, someone i love, and was with for 4 years, we separated a year ago - and drifted apart. a couple of weeks ago, i decided i would call her up and see if she wanted to go out and have a meal, maybe see a play. but just as i started feeling like i was ready to be with her again - two women came into my life at the same time and made serious advances as well. both have amazing qualities, and are extremely attractive. so, i brushed that aside and called the woman i really like - but when i called a man answered, and i froze, then pretended to be a telemarketer and asked 'is mr. voltage home?' and he said - 'this is mr.v; i hung up. i couldn't believe it. in less than a year she had gotten married? i felt horrible. and started thinking about our relationship, about whether she had ever really been 'in' it for the right reasons, was i just a rebound, a cash stop for her? i started thinking about how she went from being so open and talking to being silent and removed, and wondered, if i was in her mind, a stop gap, would see have seen others when we were together? would she have been able to make love to me and with another man? i shook my head - impossible - nobody can do that for 4 years. so, i started thinking about these 3 women, and what direction i wanted - which one was showing me that they valued me, wanted me, and i decided - 2007 is the start of my new life - i will decide my future and the woman i will marry. and for the first time in a very long time, i felt really tall, and extremely horny, so i called my FWB and we screwed for several hours - i feel freaking fantasic
Grrlish Posted December 29, 2006 Posted December 29, 2006 Heh, I wish I hadn't totally written off my FWB when I met my boyfriend. I could use a few good hours of some o' that, myself. You're 39 so maybe it's fair to assume that she's about the same age? Maybe a little younger? As we get older, things often move a little faster for some people. If she was looking to have children and she's in her mid- to late 30s, maybe she met someone who is ready, as well. And it doesn't have to be about having children. I think that as we get older, as our minds get into the frame of settling down with someone, we start looking for partners who are ready, as well. Timing is everything. Don't trash your memory of this woman. I know that it's a blow to the ego - I would feel the same way. I dated a man for 5 years. We've been apart for three. I know it would still hurt me to find out that he's married today, after all the time we spent together and never did get engaged. Just go forward and know that she wasn't the one for you, otherwise the two of you would be together. The Universe has a better match out there for you. Happy New Year!
norajane Posted December 30, 2006 Posted December 30, 2006 - but when i called a man answered, and i froze, then pretended to be a telemarketer and asked 'is mr. voltage home?' and he said - 'this is mr.v; i hung up. i couldn't believe it. in less than a year she had gotten married? This doesn't make any sense to me. You called her house, you asked for Mr. V and he said he was Mr. V - presumably "V" is HER last name, so why would HE have her last name? If she had gotten married, it's more likely that she would have taken his name rather than he taking hers. So Mr. V might be a brother? or her dad? but just as i started feeling like i was ready to be with her again - two women came into my life at the same time and made serious advances as well. both have amazing qualities, and are extremely attractive. so, i brushed that aside and called the woman i really like If she's the one you really like, why did you break up a year ago and why wait until after you'd drifted apart to decide you wanted to start something up again? so, i started thinking about these 3 women, and what direction i wanted - which one was showing me that they valued me, wanted me, and i decided - 2007 is the start of my new life - i will decide my future and the woman i will marry. and for the first time in a very long time, i felt really tall, and extremely horny, so i called my FWB and we screwed for several hours - i feel freaking fantasic You say you're thinking very clearly these days and want to get married, so you blow off the two "amazing" women who are interested in you in order to go after your ex of a year ago, and then you again blow off the amazing women in favor of sex with a FWB. Are you SURE you really want to marry? Are you SURE you are ready for a committed relationship? If you truly wanted that, you'd have gone out with the women who are interested you, and wouldn't be chasing ghosts and no-strings sex.
brickaney Posted December 30, 2006 Posted December 30, 2006 You say you're thinking very clearly these days and want to get married, so you blow off the two "amazing" women who are interested in you in order to go after your ex of a year ago, and then you again blow off the amazing women in favor of sex with a FWB. Are you SURE you really want to marry? Are you SURE you are ready for a committed relationship? If you truly wanted that, you'd have gone out with the women who are interested you, and wouldn't be chasing ghosts and no-strings sex. She said it best ^.
Recommended Posts