jazzie Posted December 28, 2006 Posted December 28, 2006 hello everyone out there, i am new to this, i just don't know what else to do, i am hurting and would love some advice... me and my boyfriend... well i guess my ex now, were together for about a year and a half. during that time he was great he was there for me through everthing... i am only 20 and at 19 i was diagnosed with congestive heart failure and he was there for me through all of the hospitalization and doctor visits. he has taken in my daughter and treats her like she is his. he is just the best thing that has happened to me in a long time if only i could have realized this earlier... during most of our relationship i was out at the club with my home girls or talking to other guys. now i never cheated or anything even close to cheating i just liked to flirt and coverse with guys. i wasn't good at hiding it though, he would go through my phone and see text from other guy and see where other guys were calling me and stuff like that... but everytime he forgave me and we got back together... well about two and a half months ago i was once again bored with my relationship with him and started talking to another guy. this guy seemed great and i broke up with my boyfriend for him. well a week into the break-up i start to realize that i wanted my boyfriend back but he wouldn't take me back this time. i begged and pleaded, but he wouldn't budge. he said that i hurt him so much that he doesn't feel the same about me. i vowed to him that i would make him love me again so for the past two and a half months i've been doing everything perfect. i don't go out, i changed my phone number... i'm doing everything that he ever asked of me while we were together but he's still doesn't want to be with me. since we live together he is saying that he wants to focus on his future and not our relationship. he says that right now he is sure that he doesn't want to be together, but he doesn't know about the future and that if we were both more successful and stable that maybe he'd be willing to work on a relationship again. but he is telling his friends and family that he is sure that he doesn't want to EVER be with again... when i asked him why he is telling me one thing and everyone else something totally different he says that he tells them that he's never coming back so they can understand the seriousness of this break-up and know that he is not just going to come back to me like normally. but in reality he doesn't know. he still takes care of my daughter, and still basically takes care of me financially, it's just the way he acts towards me. now he is staying late after work and goes out with his other friends (female friends) and i don't know how to deal with it. he's been sleeping on the couch. he doesn't hug me anymore. but we still have sex. it's like everything is so different and it hurts so bad. i just want him to give me one more chance. i love hims so much. i just want him to hold me and tell me that he isn't going to give up on what we have. he so important to me. and since i gave up everyone and everything to try to make our relationship work it's not like i can go out to get him off my mind. and i don't want to put him out cause he works and goes to school full time and really can't afford to be out on his own. i just have to deal with and it hurts. i cry all the time now and it's like i'm never happy anymore... what should i do?
jusified Posted December 28, 2006 Posted December 28, 2006 Wow, there is really no simple answer to this, as a guy I really understand how much you have hurt him and I personally won't give you a chance. Besides, he has forgiven you for some many things and taken you back and back. You have to understand that you have continues hurt him after he has forgiven you. But I suppose if you really try and change for the good and showed that to him and really try to get him back then there is always a chance. If you truely know you love someone then you won't let tem go. He sounds like a great guy and I hope you take sometime (if you haven't already) to reflect on the past and then decide on how to improve yourself in the future. Best of luck and it is a good thing that you do recognise your faults. We are all learnig and growing up doesn't matter what age we are at.
Guest Posted December 29, 2006 Posted December 29, 2006 Coming from a guys prospective. You might of ruined it. There is only a certain amount of pain you can cause someone before they actually start hating you. Love CAN turn into hate, just depends how many times you break someones trust. Take it from me, I loved my ex to death and I forgave her and forgave her, but she ALWAYS seemed to go back to what originally hert me. Finally after she sorta cheated on me i learned you cant change nobody and they're gonna do what they want. He forgives and forgives and each time he does he gets more&more unsure about you and probably starts treating you bad. Right now your ex is thinking.... if she really loved me why would she keep herting me? I know i was. Makes sence.
theplastickid Posted December 29, 2006 Posted December 29, 2006 Wow, there is really no simple answer to this, as a guy I really understand how much you have hurt him and I personally won't give you a chance. Besides, he has forgiven you for some many things and taken you back and back. You have to understand that you have continues hurt him after he has forgiven you. But I suppose if you really try and change for the good and showed that to him and really try to get him back then there is always a chance. If you truely know you love someone then you won't let tem go. He sounds like a great guy and I hope you take sometime (if you haven't already) to reflect on the past and then decide on how to improve yourself in the future. Best of luck and it is a good thing that you do recognise your faults. We are all learnig and growing up doesn't matter what age we are at. agreed!!! !
theplastickid Posted December 29, 2006 Posted December 29, 2006 like my ex says "i f**ked up!" learn from it, change for yourself no for him and it will bring him back.
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