need to make a decision

[mia128]

here is my story, Me and my boyfriend started dating nine months ago, in our second date we knew it was special, we started talking about things in our lives that may get in the middle of the relationship later on, he told me he was separated but not divorce and that his divorce was supposed to be final after a year of beign separate, and I told him that because of my believes and morals I do not have sex before marriage, we both talk about these situations and we both agree to start dating and be supportive, I told him that I will wait for him until his divorce was final, which it was supposed to happen in six or eight month after we started dating, and he promise me to wait to intimate, he said that it was going to be difficult but that he really thought it was worth it, well everthign was fine the first two month and he started pressuring me to have sex, he said he loved me but that he need it, I stand up for myself and told him NO, and told him that if he wanted we could break up and he could find someone else to have sex with , but that I was not going to give up my morals and principles, overall we have an excellent relationship, there is nothing i can say bad about him, but he used to tell me that the relationship was not growing beccuase we were not havign sex, ( that is not true) there were moments where we were so close, so happy the intimancy were beyong the sexual act, he used to tell me how happy he was with me, and how happy he was that we foudn each other, we told me several times he wanted married me, but i told him that we couldnt' get engaged until his divorce was final, beside I didnt' even had meet his entire family because of the divorce sitatuation so I just wanted to take it slow , we were happy , but he continue putting pressure on me but for him nothign was enough , so after six month we broke up, i was devastated because before we started dating I was honest with him and he agree on the situation, I trusted him with my Kids and he left one day with no remorse he just thought about his selfish needs and left me heart broken.. well after six weeks he came back, begging for another chance, telling me how much he missed me, and how much he realized he loves me, he said he was sorry and wanted another chance, but i can't trust him any more, he left to have what ever he wanted and now wanted to come back like nothign happend, and after all this time, he is still married !!!!! i love him, i really do !!! but I just do know what to do? he knows that i will not give up my principles and we won't have sex before marriage, he said we will wait, but I don't believe him, he want another chance, but I"m confused, becasue after nine month he is still married, the divorce is not final yet because they have a business and real estates together but I just don't know what to do !! please help

[norajane]

Stick to your guns and don't take him back until AFTER his divorce is final. If you take him back now, in a little while, he'll start pressuring you again to have sex and you'll be right back where you started.

[vanessabg]

here is my story, Me and my boyfriend started dating nine months ago, in our second date we knew it was special, we started talking about things in our lives that may get in the middle of the relationship later on, he told me he was separated but not divorce and that his divorce was supposed to be final after a year of beign separate, and I told him that because of my believes and morals I do not have sex before marriage, we both talk about these situations and we both agree to start dating and be supportive, I told him that I will wait for him until his divorce was final, which it was supposed to happen in six or eight month after we started dating, and he promise me to wait to intimate, he said that it was going to be difficult but that he really thought it was worth it, well everthign was fine the first two month and he started pressuring me to have sex, he said he loved me but that he need it, I stand up for myself and told him NO, and told him that if he wanted we could break up and he could find someone else to have sex with , but that I was not going to give up my morals and principles, overall we have an excellent relationship, there is nothing i can say bad about him, but he used to tell me that the relationship was not growing beccuase we were not havign sex, ( that is not true) there were moments where we were so close, so happy the intimancy were beyong the sexual act, he used to tell me how happy he was with me, and how happy he was that we foudn each other, we told me several times he wanted married me, but i told him that we couldnt' get engaged until his divorce was final, beside I didnt' even had meet his entire family because of the divorce sitatuation so I just wanted to take it slow , we were happy , but he continue putting pressure on me but for him nothign was enough , so after six month we broke up, i was devastated because before we started dating I was honest with him and he agree on the situation, I trusted him with my Kids and he left one day with no remorse he just thought about his selfish needs and left me heart broken.. well after six weeks he came back, begging for another chance, telling me how much he missed me, and how much he realized he loves me, he said he was sorry and wanted another chance, but i can't trust him any more, he left to have what ever he wanted and now wanted to come back like nothign happend, and after all this time, he is still married !!!!! i love him, i really do !!! but I just do know what to do? he knows that i will not give up my principles and we won't have sex before marriage, he said we will wait, but I don't believe him, he want another chance, but I"m confused, becasue after nine month he is still married, the divorce is not final yet because they have a business and real estates together but I just don't know what to do !! please help

Very simple,you must give up your relations right now till his divorced finally done.then he contact you and start relation as you want than you also continue it.

[BlueEyedSarah]

he started pressuring me to have sex, he said he loved me but that he need it

Never let a guy pressure you into having sex. If he does then he is no way worth it!

 

I stand up for myself and told him NO

Good!

 

after all this time, he is still married !!!!!

 

nine month he is still married

This sounds quite fishy to me...he tells you he is seperated yet he is still married...sadly it looks as though he may still be married in a few more months time. I have heard stories like yours before and it seems as though you are just being pulled along for the ride.

 

I could be wrong though...

 

Hope it all works out for you

[marlena]

Hi,

I'm new to this forum and don't even know how to work it. Hope you get this reply. I'm in a somewhat similar position. I met a guy and had a two month relationship with him. He told me he was separated one month into the relationship. I was devastated. It turns out he also told me a pack of other lies as well. He admitted that he hadn't filed for a divorce after being separated for four years. Right. huh? I broke it off and its been NC for a week now. I unfortunately did get intimate with him, thinking he was legally divorced. I too am divorced with a daughter 22 years old. When he confessed all this I was devasted for being deceived and sucked into a situation I did not want to be in.. By that time I was madly in love but found the moral stamina to walk away, though believe me I have a case of itchy fingers and am dying to call him. He admitted he hasnt even filed for a divorce. When I broke it off he acted hurt almost crying saying that if I loved him I would understand and satnd by him... Stand by whom? I thought .. a liar, one who deliberately decieved me. i am almost positive he will never file ... he could be married still for all I know... Liars are very resourceful people, it seems. Sweetie, what you should be wondering is ...where is the much promised divorce ...what are his true intentions. I' once had an affair with a MM and it nearly killed me ..that's why i walked away this time ...Be very careful and mindful that this man may have no intention of ever getting a divorce.....and the way I see it it is not the sex that is a real issue here but whether you can trust and beleive in him...and whether to stay or go....what a way to spend NYE, huh? Hope it's better a year for you ..and me...and everyone who deserves it ...