Lostandfound Posted December 28, 2006 Posted December 28, 2006 By my ex with me on Boxing Day,that her friend who I also know is in London, and that she wanted to come too, but did not in the end. And hoped I had a good christmas day. She went on to say that she was lucky to have a friend in me for the MOMENT, she put it in capitals, and longed for the day we can resume our relationship. Because right now she is unable to. This is not what I want to hear, so i did not reply. Then today I receive another saying that she wishes me a very happy new year, and that all my dreams come true. Again not want what i want to hear. Is she starting to slowly come around again, or is it just the time of year makes people like this? I know what i want to say to her, but it will sound like begging and grovelling, so i chose not to. But any suggestions as to why she is doing this. A few months ago after she had broken us up, we had been exchanging texts and one where i said about friendship, was replied with Friends Always ONLY?? And she said she did not want this forever, only for the time being. Maybe until she is fed up with the new man in her life????????????????
notmakingsense Posted December 28, 2006 Posted December 28, 2006 She's teasing you with words like "friends for the MOMENT" to make sure you don't move on while she figure out if it is going to work out with her new man. In other words, you are the backup guy.
silentcharon Posted December 28, 2006 Posted December 28, 2006 Yeah, forget about her. I saw my ex briefly yesterday to get some things from him- he mentioned that he woke up on christmas morning crying. He cries every time he sees me, even though he dumped me, he says things like your ex does. It's her loss- pay no heed to what she says and move on. You're not with her, the other guy is.
uksteve Posted December 28, 2006 Posted December 28, 2006 My ex made contact with me on Boxing day and yesterday as I hadn't responded (she broke up with me a just before Xmas). I replied but in a matter-of-fact way and only to sort out my London flat that we rented, nothing else! Sounds like you should move on - she may just be toying with you, keeping you hanging on! Best to look forward to a new start in 2007!
Author Lostandfound Posted December 28, 2006 Author Posted December 28, 2006 Tonight i have receieved a message from her eldest daughter saying her and her sister miss me, and that their mum is sad all the time, and snapping at them, they have asked her when am i coming back and she changes the subject. They have asked her for the last 3 months what has been going on, and she just clams up. She went on to say both her and her sister miss me being there, as we had fun when we were all together, and she cant understand why I stopped things with their mum. I DIDNT! Do i reply, or do i ignore it. It is not coming from the mum, i know for a fact it hads definitely come from the daughter
notmakingsense Posted December 28, 2006 Posted December 28, 2006 You should be careful here, as their mom may know about their message to you. I would respond that you miss them also, but that the subject of you and your mom needs to stay private right now -- then leave it at that.
Author Lostandfound Posted December 28, 2006 Author Posted December 28, 2006 I have replied and recieved a reply already saying that both her sister and her agree it is private, but it involves them to as they have never seen their mum so unhappy, even after the break up of her marriage to their father a few years ago. And want to know what i want. I feel that this could be the mum behind this, but not sure how to react , I really want her back, I know the woman is playing games maybe something from childhood is making her this way, but i believe a past realtionship that turned really bad as made her like this. For the last few weeks she has sent something to whet my appetite, and to be honest i want some of it, but dont know quite what to do
notmakingsense Posted December 28, 2006 Posted December 28, 2006 It isn't your place to involve her kids. As I suggested in another post, she is keeping you around as a backup -- do you really want to be her backup? You should go no contact, spend time with friends, and start dating other people.
Author Lostandfound Posted December 28, 2006 Author Posted December 28, 2006 I agree but when the kids involve me, i do not want to show myself with something to hide. Simply by staing things are private and should be kept that way. I will not initiate any more contact, and see what happens, but I am moving on with my life, and am seeing someone else, but as always its never the same. Would it be to my advantage to somehow get a message to her that im dating someone
notmakingsense Posted December 28, 2006 Posted December 28, 2006 I agree but when the kids involve me, i do not want to show myself with something to hide. Simply by staing things are private and should be kept that way. I will not initiate any more contact, and see what happens, but I am moving on with my life, and am seeing someone else, but as always its never the same. Would it be to my advantage to somehow get a message to her that im dating someone You aren't "hiding" anything, you are just telling them that it is a private issue that is not right for you to talk about with them. If their mom wants to talk to them about it, then that is her business. I think you are doing the right thing by not initiating any further contact. I wouldn't bother getting a message to her about your dating. The point of no contact is to get over her. If she does come around, it should be of her own initiative, not because you were trying to make her jealous.
Author Lostandfound Posted December 28, 2006 Author Posted December 28, 2006 This is just it, I have tried to move on, and believe I am doing so, but every now and then she pops up back into my life. The fact is I believe that I still want her, and believe that she wants me, but has a fear of committment, as her previous relationship ended in disaster for her and her daughters. One of the reasons why me and her daughters gel so much is that I am a compleltely different guy to their mums previous partner, I dont shout at them I involve them , I do things with them and for them. Simply, she tells me at the moment were friends, and she has no love but only as a friend at the moment, how do i uncover her true feelings. The only way is to move on and speak no more, maybe she will pour her heart out soon
Author Lostandfound Posted December 30, 2006 Author Posted December 30, 2006 Today i receive a text from her saying that she is ok, as there has been a bomb in her home city this morning, and that she is on holiday until mid january and bored with not much to do. And asked what am i up to for the next couple of weeks. I knew this would come, it is strange how a few days go by and then contact is made again, more to develop i am sure!!
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