Guest87 Posted December 28, 2006 Posted December 28, 2006 hi everyone here... have been seeing alot of posts here, and i do hope i can have some advice from you guys here. how do you get over some who you in love, and were together, but now the situation turns into friend with benefit? its so hard having sex with him, and pretend that i not care and be nice as a good friend to him all the time. but i know i deepley inlove with him and don't really wanted to see him leave me. i used to said i cant be friend with him now, and he only replied "fine". but i cant take it, as how can he so heartless? things turn up very straght now, almost eveytime meet him, dinner and scratch his back and go to bed. i know he loves my body, but not me in person. not my character. we don't hang up anymore, no movie, no shopping and no travel. even no phone calls. he don't call me when he overseas, don't call me ask me hows my day. even don't reply my text or email don't pick up my call when ever i need him. but when he calls, i always the one who respond to him. i am thinking to do back the way he treats me to him, but i cant do it. i just afraid that he wont call me anymore if i missed his call. i am just basically need to get through this, how would you do abt it to deal with this... do i stand a chance to let him fall for me? i have a feeling that things wont turn good since the situations now seems bad or maybe worst. how shd i call it a stop without losing any chance to win him back? i do told him that i am in love with him. he even arranged me to meet his dad when his dad in town, and had dinner with his friends. maybe i naive, but that means alot to me... i totaly no expereince dealing with this... no clue. thanks
Double D Posted December 28, 2006 Posted December 28, 2006 I am not sure if i got this right. Are you sleeping with you ex still? Im going through a break-up and for me the most important thing is to concentrate on yourself and value yourself. If this person has showed they dont want you then tell yourself they loss is another's gain. I know it is easier said than done and im also finding it tough but stick to it and respect yourself! Happy Holidays!
Craig Posted December 28, 2006 Posted December 28, 2006 how shed i call it a stop without losing any chance to win him back? I write this based on the fact that you are friends with benefits. What you want to do is say goodbye to him in a way that leaves him thinking about you for a long, long, long time. The standard breakup involves the news that one of the partners doesn't want to continue the relationship and then it's over. Just like that. Try this instead. Prepare everything for a really nice dinner at your place, make sure everything is nice, fresh and good for him. Invite him over for dinner and make his favorite meal, be light and happy with him. You want him to remember you as happy and fun. After dinner you do something that both of you enjoy at your place. It could be watching tv or anything that maintains the mood. Then you seduce him into your bedroom and...well...screw his brains out. Make it really good for him. After you're done and while you and he are still in bed you hand him a letter that you wrote earlier explaining that you love him too much to carry on with friends with benefits, you can't see him anymore and it is best if you don't have anymore contact. You just "broke up" with him in a way he'll never forget, he knows you care for him and love him and that if he chooses to he may have a place in your life in the future. Then you say goodnight to him, send him on his way and start your new life without him. This does two things. First it makes your breakup a good one and that will set the stage for any future relationship you might find yourself in and second it might haunt him enough to reconsider a relationship with you. Of course I could be wrong but it's the best I can do right now.
notmakingsense Posted December 28, 2006 Posted December 28, 2006 Of course I could be wrong but it's the best I can do right now. Craig, you must be a guy -- this would be an absolutely perfect way to get dumped from my perspective (I'm a guy) -- one last screw for the road! Kidding aside, the most important thing for you do, no matter how its done, is to break-up with this man. He needs to understand that he can't keep getting his physical needs met without putting more of himself into the relationship. I'm sure you are a bright, fun, and attractive woman -- you deserve much better, and once you have taken the time to get over him, you will have much better men falling for you left and right!
Guest87 Posted December 30, 2006 Posted December 30, 2006 I am not sure if i got this right. Are you sleeping with you ex still? Im going through a break-up and for me the most important thing is to concentrate on yourself and value yourself. If this person has showed they dont want you then tell yourself they loss is another's gain. I know it is easier said than done and im also finding it tough but stick to it and respect yourself! Happy Holidays! thanks DoubleD, yes, i still sleeping with my ex.. i think that is why the situation now turns into "friend with benefits" kind of thingy... so basically we just didnt communicate more than just bed. i do try to concerntrate myself doing other things like doing more freelance and meeting out with friends, but my mind is still drawn me to him. i miss him so much eventhoug i wake up on the next day after i walked out from his place. he don't touch me more than just straight to the f part. and i must say i always give him more attention than he giving me. but i am just soo stupid to think that sleeping with him is the only way that i can get back with him or closer to him... i know this is stupid. i will say the same things to my girl friends whoever in my shoe. but i just cant help myself... i do hope that i can get over him soon. actually i broke the NC rule and met him...now i regret, cause the one month NC is really hard and a month is like a year! happy new year to you! and have a great year ahead!
Guest87 Posted December 30, 2006 Posted December 30, 2006 I write this based on the fact that you are friends with benefits. What you want to do is say goodbye to him in a way that leaves him thinking about you for a long, long, long time. The standard breakup involves the news that one of the partners doesn't want to continue the relationship and then it's over. Just like that. Try this instead. Prepare everything for a really nice dinner at your place, make sure everything is nice, fresh and good for him. Invite him over for dinner and make his favorite meal, be light and happy with him. You want him to remember you as happy and fun. After dinner you do something that both of you enjoy at your place. It could be watching tv or anything that maintains the mood. Then you seduce him into your bedroom and...well...screw his brains out. Make it really good for him. After you're done and while you and he are still in bed you hand him a letter that you wrote earlier explaining that you love him too much to carry on with friends with benefits, you can't see him anymore and it is best if you don't have anymore contact. You just "broke up" with him in a way he'll never forget, he knows you care for him and love him and that if he chooses to he may have a place in your life in the future. Then you say goodnight to him, send him on his way and start your new life without him. This does two things. First it makes your breakup a good one and that will set the stage for any future relationship you might find yourself in and second it might haunt him enough to reconsider a relationship with you. Of course I could be wrong but it's the best I can do right now. Hi craig, thanks for the suggestions. btw, i have been inviting him over to my place and offer to cook him a dinner, but he always refuse to come, i feel like he kind of scared that he will owes me anything if he does come. all these while, i have been spending time at his place and sleep at his place many many times and he cooked me dinner, lunch or even coffee/breakfast (in the begining of the relationship). there is no chance for me to prepare dinner for him or even talk to him after the ML session. he will sleep right away and not even cuddle or hold me all sorts of things. i am pretty sure that i can give him the attentions that make him mind blowing, but i am not sure he will never forget abt me, and the mind blowing sex. he might have any other candidates, but i may not be the best for him. writing him a letter and send him off might not be able to work out on me, it pretty much i will walk out from his door feeling sad than the other way. and it happened before, and he wont feel a thing at all. new year coming and i did invited him once again to have lunch on the new year eve or dinner, i am sure he wont want to spend new year with him and i never spend new year with him since we got together till now. i did suggest and make plan for 2 of us, and even reserve my day for him, but he always reply said that it still a long way to go and he cant confrim, but he can make plan with his friends to overseas celebrating new year! its not that i am trying to control him, but i feel really upset cos he doesnt want to make plan with me. yes and yes i realise this very long time.. but i think i just cant let go and donno how... i piss him off just now, and i think your method have to be on hold or maybe we may need to think of another way. i dont wanna lose him, and it the NC period that kills... happy new year to you! and have a great year ahead!
Guest87 Posted December 30, 2006 Posted December 30, 2006 Craig, you must be a guy -- this would be an absolutely perfect way to get dumped from my perspective (I'm a guy) -- one last screw for the road! Kidding aside, the most important thing for you do, no matter how its done, is to break-up with this man. He needs to understand that he can't keep getting his physical needs met without putting more of himself into the relationship. I'm sure you are a bright, fun, and attractive woman -- you deserve much better, and once you have taken the time to get over him, you will have much better men falling for you left and right! hi notmakingsense, thanks for the encouragement. i coulnt not think of another man than him every minute, even i have nice guy checking me out or i have a very sincere man going after me, i cant open my heart to him and my mind is only my ex. i know i am still in love with him very much and very affected by him. i know that he needs me to satisfy his physical needs and i am convenient, but i am very stupid and stubborn not to give up this only chance to get close to him, and i am timid thinking that if i rejected his needs, he will leave me forever and i will lost my chance to get back with him. he don't fancy me anymore right? how can i do to let him fall for me and fancy me again... god! this is so hard! happy new year to you and goodluck always!
Recommended Posts