Individual3 Posted December 28, 2006 Posted December 28, 2006 Last year I really started liking this guy (Tom) but he had a girlfriend. He led me on to believe that he could possibly like me too. For instance, every time he saw me he would give me bear hugs and would lift me off the ground. We flirted and we hung out quite a bit. He’d even talk bad about his girlfriend when he knew I was around. He used to tease me about liking him and I would never admit it until one day I just had to tell him He told me he could see himself dating me if he didn’t have a girlfriend. I was hurt so I tried to issue no contact but it didn’t work because he kept pursuing me. This led me to ask him one more time how he felt about me and he said he was happy w/ his gf and we would never be more than just friends. I moved on with my life and found a bf of my own and I’m happy with him. What makes me angry is that Tom is still trying to flirt with me and act like I’m not with my bf. I’m doing everything I can to avoid Tom. I don’t respond to him phone calls, e-mails, and I don’t have conversations with him. I want him out of my life but what makes things worse is that he and my bf are friends. Tom did something that really made me angry the other day. All of us were at a party and Tom came over and gave me a big bear hug and told me to say I loved him. I told him repeatedly that I loved my bf and until he released the hug. He did this in front of everyone including my bf and his gf! How do I get this guy to leave me alone?
whichwayisup Posted December 28, 2006 Posted December 28, 2006 Forget Tom. He is messing with you and is loving the attention and reaction you give him. 1)He disrespects his girlfriend and bashes her infront of you, yet he still is with her. Imagine how she would feel? Imagine how YOU would feel if your boyfriend said awful things behind your back, but then to your face was loving and sweet. How do you get this guy to leave you alone? Stop talking to him. When he flirts with you, ignore him, walk away. And if he won't leave you alone, TELL HIM TO F OFF!
Walk Posted December 28, 2006 Posted December 28, 2006 Does your bf know what happened and how you are feeling? Have you talked to him about it? I was going to say threaten to tell the gf, but seems she's okay with it. Weird. I think, if I were in your shoes, I would give Tom one very strong warning about his behavior. I would explain to him that you don't want him contacting you, to not touch you or hug you, and to keep at least a 6 foot radius away from you if you're forced to hang out with all of them again. Make it stern, make it serious, direct, to the point, and don't deviate from the message. Then if he doesn't honor it, mock him and make fun of him. Shame him into staying away. Or you could try kicking him in the balls next time he tries to hug you. Bet he'd stay out of range after that. Maybe a better plan of action is to tell him you're serious about not wanting him to contact you or touch you. Then block his number on your phone and refuse to hang out with him. What you described above would make me extremely uncomfortable and feel almost soiled by the incident. It was a pathetic childish attempt on his part to get you to show him the attention he so desperately craves. Remove the attention completely, and after a while he'll find a new girl to stalk and harrass. For the life of me I can't figure out why the gf would be okay with this. Obviously he won't leave her, but it's just weird behavior. Kind of disgusting actually. ick.
pureinheart Posted December 28, 2006 Posted December 28, 2006 This guy is beyond arrogant, and is extremely rude...I would tell your bf the reasons why you don't want to be around this guy, and with what that guy did in front of bf, I'm sure he'll agree. This is your typical bully....
Author Individual3 Posted December 28, 2006 Author Posted December 28, 2006 Thank you everyone for your advice. Yes, he is very disresftful, rude, and arrogant. Walk, I did feel gross after he hugged me. I don't understand why he would do this in front of his girlfriend and why she puts up with it. I just don't trust him. I'm wondering if he might plot to break me and my boyfriend up. Tom and my bf used to be pretty good friends but then Tom just started acting shady and ignoring his calls. This was before we got together. Then, a week after my bf and I started dating, Tom wanted to be my boyfriend's best friend again. I can't help but to think it has something to do with me. It's highy suspicious.
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