enV Posted December 28, 2006 Posted December 28, 2006 I just came out of a 4 year relationship this past week. The girl I loved so much had cheated on me. I'm lost. My life feels empty without her. My whole world revolved around her. Brief History of our relationship: For the first couple years, our relationship was great. At the end of her first year of college, our 2 year point, she left me. I found out later on that she had gone out with another guy the next day. They kissed the first night we broke up, and a week later were into doing oral stuff. After about a month, she came back to me and I took her back. One year after that event, she leaves me again. I found out later on that she had been interested in this guy from Washington, we're from CA. Turns out that he flew over from Washington and she told me they kissed and spent the night together but nothing happened. After about a couple weeks, she comes back to me and I take her back. 6 months after that event, she leaves me again. She tells me she just wants to be alone for a while, but she comes back about a month later and I take her back. Dec 20th, 2006. We spend the day together at the mall and movies. I give her her early xmas present because she is going out of town the next day. That night, she calls me and tells me she wants to break up. Turns out she cheated on me and didn't want to lie about it anymore. It was with a guy she met on World of Warcraft from Australia. He flew over from the 8th - 12th and she said she slept with him 3 times the first day she met him. She also told me that that brief period where she "wanted to be alone", she was actually dating him online. I know what you're all thinking. World of Warcraft? She must be ugly. But no, she's beautiful. World of Warcraft had something to do with every time she left me. The first guy she met because her pc broke down and went to his place to play WoW. The 2nd guy was in her guild. The third guy was also in her guild. I feel so pathetic right now. Even after all that pain she put me through, I stuck with her and loved her. And now she cheats on me. What's sad is that when she called me and cried all night to me telling me that I deserved someone better, I begged her to stay. It's so painful because we were each other's first love. She never had anyone else before me. Now I can never have her all to myself and it kills me. I dont know how I'll ever find someone as smart (UC Berkeley), fun, and pretty as her. Ok, I'm done venting.
westernxer Posted December 28, 2006 Posted December 28, 2006 I dont know how I'll ever find someone as smart (UC Berkeley) As if that means anything. You should get smart yourself and give some other girls the old college try.
notmakingsense Posted December 28, 2006 Posted December 28, 2006 There are plenty of other smart, pretty, fun girls out there -- AND smart, pretty, and fun girls who won't cheat. You deserve better. You should have kicked her to the curb the first time she cheated because for many people "once a cheater, always a cheater" -- especially at a young age. This will take a while to get over. Work on your self-esteem, keep reminding yourself that you deserve better, spend time with friends, work out, and figure out who you want to involve yourself with in the future.
tikigods Posted December 28, 2006 Posted December 28, 2006 you need to work on your self esteem and realize that she used you as a crutch till she found something better cause she knew that she could walk all over you at anytime and you would always take her back. There are plenty of girls that won;t just use you like that, you will find one. But you need to start living for you and not someone else
Author enV Posted December 28, 2006 Author Posted December 28, 2006 Thanks for the response. Yea, my self esteem is a bit low right now. The thing is, I know she really does love me. I know it's hard for you guys to believe. It's just the fact that she's young and curious that has her doing these things. She's never had anyone else before me. We haven't been in contact since the break up and she just IMed me on AIM, 5 mins ago, offering to buy me a Nintendo Wii because she said she still owes me an Xmas present. Of course, I turned it down. update: She just told me "if i wasn't so weak and stupid to cheat on u i wouldn't have left u again"
slimmontana Posted December 28, 2006 Posted December 28, 2006 I know its hard right now but don't sweat it man..believe me u are so much better in the long run without her!! Just focus on yourself the better you are th ebetter quality of person u will attract. So build up the self esteem you deserve much better. All of that running around that she was doing behind your back is not a reflection on you its a reflection on her. Just imagine if she would have did this if u guys were married with kids? Take time ..the time will heal the wounds..
westernxer Posted December 28, 2006 Posted December 28, 2006 update: She just told me "if i wasn't so weak and stupid to cheat on u i wouldn't have left u again" Did she learn this about herself at Berkeley?
notmakingsense Posted December 28, 2006 Posted December 28, 2006 update: She just told me "if i wasn't so weak and stupid to cheat on u i wouldn't have left u again" This, and the Nintendo, are just ways for her to feel less guilty about what she did, and the break-up. She still wants to break up with you and explore other horizons. Move on now.
Author enV Posted December 29, 2006 Author Posted December 29, 2006 What is up with all these dating sites: Yahoo Personals, Mate1, etc? I spend like 1 hr setting up a profile only to realize I can't even use it unless I pay a monthly fee. Why don't they say that you have to pay before they make you make a profile :/ I'm not even really looking for a date. I just wanna go somewhere where I can meet new people and talk. Any suggestions?
notmakingsense Posted December 29, 2006 Posted December 29, 2006 Craigslist (http://www.craigslist.org) is a free site you can use to post personals. I've never tried it though. I think people also post themselves on MySpace... .not sure if that costs money or not.
westernxer Posted December 29, 2006 Posted December 29, 2006 Don't do Craigslist... here's what you'll find (not sure what it's like in your city)... http://losangeles.craigslist.org/w4m/?displayMode=printFriendly I love reading them, for the freak appeal.
notmakingsense Posted December 29, 2006 Posted December 29, 2006 Don't do Craigslist... here's what you'll find (not sure what it's like in your city)... http://losangeles.craigslist.org/w4m/?displayMode=printFriendly I love reading them, for the freak appeal. LOL... well the old saying "you get what you pay for" certainly rings true! I think other metro areas are a little less wild....
chryssy83 Posted December 29, 2006 Posted December 29, 2006 Too funny...I can't believe how many of them are so open about being gold-diggers!
Author enV Posted December 29, 2006 Author Posted December 29, 2006 I was thinking more in the lines of just chatting online. All those people on Craigslist are a bit old for me. I'm looking to makes some new friends around my age, 21. I'm so close to succumbing to calling my ex and I know I shouldn't. I really need to get out of the house. I'm still recovering from the stomach flu. I threw up every 10 mins for 12 hours a couple nights ago :/ She hasn't been online since we had our brief conversation yesterday. It didn't go too well. Though I wasn't being mean, I wasn't exactly having the most positive attitude. I probably pushed her away even more by doing so. It's OK. Party in SF tonight. I also got tipped off by someone that she might not have gone skiing with her family, like she told me, and instead might have gone to SD to visit some of her other WoW friends. She probably slept with all of them as well. I just don't get how she could have become this type of person. What happened to the girl I fell in love with?
westernxer Posted December 29, 2006 Posted December 29, 2006 What happened to the girl I fell in love with? She changed, or else you're finally seeing the light. It happens.
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