deepimpact Posted December 27, 2006 Posted December 27, 2006 Hi guys, I guess title speaks for itself. I broke up with that girl some time ago. I dont wanna get back together or anything. But i dont feel like starting a new serious thing with a new girl, although i go out with new ones sometimes. I loved my ex and i know i still have feelings for her. I also feel those feelings die slowly but how do i know im totally over with my ex? May be a lame question but i think it was the first time i really fell in love with someone... Thanks for help guys...
notmakingsense Posted December 27, 2006 Posted December 27, 2006 I think it is related to the frequency you have those feelings.... for me, I knew it was over one day when I realized that not only did I not think of her that day, but I found myself getting excited about meeting/getting to know a new person. In all honesty, I don't think any of us 100% get over people who dumped us -- thinking of them/seeing them will always ignite some sort of feeling. However, all of us do get to a point where that becomes just a fleeting rememberance, rather than focus of our energy.
CaliGuy Posted December 27, 2006 Posted December 27, 2006 When you are indifferent towards your ex you will have truly moved on. Indifference is the opposite of love, not hate.
bchlvr Posted December 27, 2006 Posted December 27, 2006 I think another barometer is how upsetting to you are thoughts of her? Do they pinch a little and then you regroup fairly easily? Do they linger and have a strong impact on your life? In my case, it has been several months since my ex and I broke up. I have not been able to shake relentless thoughts about her. But I am less distressed by them following me around from morning to night than I was three months ago. And that is progress. I try to think in terms of those thoughts as background noise. I may not be able to make them go away entirely but I can choose not to stoke the fire by continually wallowing in them, allowing them to inhibit my motivation (however small that is) to move forward, or keep me working toward feeling satisfied with myself even if I don't have a partner. Focus on the progress you've made rather than trying to gauge if youre completely over her not. Since she was a first for you, she may always have a special place in your heart.
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