uksteve Posted December 27, 2006 Posted December 27, 2006 My ex-fiancee has sent me a couple of emails in the last 24 hours although I am going NC. Just a bit of background - I unfortunatley was on the receiving end of a decision to end an engagement last week which although I knew was coming was still very tough when it happened and it led to a big change of plans a couple of days before Christmas. http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t107721/ Now, I have to sort a few things out next week with regard to a joint apartment but I thought I'd just go NC until then to let me gather my thoughts and help me move on, enjoying Christmas and New Year with friends and family - it has been one of the best ever!! I dont have to sort things out til next week but she sent me a mail last night asking me to get in touch to sort out apartment things and another this morning asking if I was ok and to get in touch asap. Now NC has really helped me and I just plain dont feel like getting in touch right away. Is it cool just to wait until a few days have passed? I know she has very interfering parents and I can sense their interference. I have got another email this morning asking me to call, email or text to let her know I'm ok! She also said she has sent a letter to our joint apartment owner (I have my own home in another city though) saying we are leaving without drafting me in which I thought was a little rude. Would have liked at least to seen it first and would have preferred to have done a joint letter as it's a bit more polite and avoids having to explain! Just to be upfront, although it still hurts, I am totally set in my mind that I wouldnt entertain the thought of getting back with her as she is not the right person for me and it's been a real difficult relationship the last year. It is tough being single again but I've been out a few nights with friends and have a good lot of plans now so am moving on... I am really looking forward to moving forwards and starting a new year afresh! Is it cool to hold off contact as NC is really helping me deal with this - I dont want to feel pressurised into emailing or calling her for a few days as there is no reason the apartment stuff cant wait until the 2nd of Jan! I dont want to be petty though but this NC is pretty good at dealing with your feelings and has helped a lot!! Any thoughts on the NC for a few days?
gfto Posted December 27, 2006 Posted December 27, 2006 I am totally set in my mind that I wouldnt entertain the thought of getting back with her as she is not the right person for me Yet, your thread is titled, "Ex-fiance got in touch!"
Author uksteve Posted December 27, 2006 Author Posted December 27, 2006 Yet, your thread is titled, "Ex-fiance got in touch!" True, but I'm not sure what you mean? I have been expecting a break-up for months and it is the right thing to do. We all have doubts about the course we are pursuing but I do feel that I need to move on - a break-up will just happen again, be it a week or month for now! All I'm asking is that if she's got in touch and I feel that I dont want to speak, is that cool or rude? I'd rather wait a few days as each morning when I get up it doesnt feel so bad. Almost a week and although it's horrible, I feel a lot better and clearer of mind than I did last week! Scary but almost exciting not knowing what is round the corner!
notmakingsense Posted December 27, 2006 Posted December 27, 2006 It may be difficult -- but you might want to contact her just to fully wrap things up regarding the apartment and any stuff. NC is not easy when you know you will eventually have to talk to them about something. Once the apartment is taken care of, you can go full NC without any prospect of having to talk to her in the future.
Author uksteve Posted December 27, 2006 Author Posted December 27, 2006 I suppose it's still a little raw and I feel like I wanted to wait a few days before any necessary communication! NC does help a lot! I will have to respond to her message in the next day or two and will do it by email! A bit less personal - better that way I think!
westernxer Posted December 27, 2006 Posted December 27, 2006 If you can wait a few days, do it. Nothing wrong with that.
Author uksteve Posted December 27, 2006 Author Posted December 27, 2006 Just emailed the letting agent about the apartment and sortied out the money side. Will email her in a day or so! I so much prefer NC, it's much easier!
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