Guest Posted December 27, 2006 Posted December 27, 2006 Sooooo, there I was on Friday night out on my 3rd date with this kick ass guy. He suggests we go back to his place for some after-dinner drinks. I hesitate, thinking it's going to lead somewhere physically that I'm not ready for, but go ahead and agree. He drives us out from Boston into a pretty nice suburban neighborhood, and I'm thinking "WOW, for what he does for a living (general sales), he's able to afford some nice real estate!" Then I convince myself that he must have roommates, seeing as so many guys these days buy houses and still live with their friends...fine, whatever. Anyway, we end up in the hot tub. Next thing I know, his MOTHER comes out and asks us if we need anything (drinks, food, etc.) and I realize HE STILL LIVES AT HOME!! This 27-almost-28 year old guy who went to BOSTON COLLEGE STILL LIVES AT HOME! Myself, I am only 24 but I own my own townhome, and feel a little...awkward...about his living arrangements. He explained that he lives at home because he was supposed to move in with a friend, then that friend moved out-of-state, excuse-excuse-excuse, and then he decided just to stay with them to save money so that he CAN buy his own place. But it's been about FIVE YEARS that he's lived with them now. C'mon! Anyone ever see something like this? This is really his only real "red flag" (if it can even be called that), but I think of the movie and just get so weirded out. Any thoughts?
JCD Posted December 28, 2006 Posted December 28, 2006 I would be looking for an independent man who can take care of himself so that he is able to take care of you as well. Living alone builds character and manliness
whispervale Posted December 28, 2006 Posted December 28, 2006 Anyone ever see something like this? This is really his only real "red flag" (if it can even be called that), but I think of the movie and just get so weirded out. Any thoughts? Nobody's perfect. Sounds like you've been having fun - maybe you ought to get to know him a little better and then you'll be able to better judge for yourself whether his life-at-home is such a biggie.
jusified Posted December 28, 2006 Posted December 28, 2006 I'm 21 and I live at home with parents. The hard thing is my parents don;t have anyone else but me so they wouldn't want me to move out even if i wanted to. With that said, if finance is ok I will probably move out eventually. I do however think just cause his living at home with his parents don't mean his not a great guy. But if he can't do anything to look after himself then he isn't a great guy.
D-Lish Posted December 28, 2006 Posted December 28, 2006 SOmetimes it takes a nudge to motivate a guy to get moving. Maybe, after meeting you, if things go well- he'll be motivated to get his own place. My brother lived at home until he was 27- whereas I left at 22. If he hasn't had a reason to make the move, and is saving lots of money to buy a house...that's admirable. If he is just simply not motivated because he likes the comfort of being at home, that may be a problem. When I met my ex, he was 32, and still living in a dingy apartment with two other guys, and didn't even have his license. Within a month, he bought a townhome and within 3 months he had his permit and a car. So, you never know. If you really like him, and he is good to you, maybe it's worth overlooking. See how it goes. D
silentcharon Posted December 28, 2006 Posted December 28, 2006 Yeah, I am currently dating someone new- I asked him where he lived. He said he was living at his mom's, and I said, "You're 25 and still living at your mom's?" He explained that he bought a condo a year ago, and was supposed to move in right away, but construction got delayed... he recently found out he takes possession on Jan 22. Whew! I've had my fill of people living with their parents, or with room mates, so I'm quite excited when he moves into his new place!
Trialbyfire Posted December 28, 2006 Posted December 28, 2006 If he's asian, asian men and women don't leave home until they get married, no matter how old they are.
dropdeadlegs Posted December 28, 2006 Posted December 28, 2006 It would probably weird me out. Does Mom still do his laundry? Call him in sick at work? I can't imagine not needing independence and privacy at that age and would never move back with my parents. I wouldn't necessarily break it off with him, but I think it would bother me. I do know plenty of men that live on family owned land and such, but they have their own place even if it's a mobile home. That is fairly common in my part of the world. My BF's brother lived with his Dad until his Dad died in May. He turned 30 this year and makes good money, but is money management challenged. Now he lives in Dad's mobile home alone. My BF lives on the same property in his own mobile home and their land is about 2 and a 1/2 acres. There is plenty of room for some privacy. My ex-husband moved back with his parents after we divorced, but his parents were elderly and had medical problems that made it difficult to keep up a four bedroom home and two acres of land. His Dad died and his mother is now in a nursing home and he lives in their home with his sister. When his folks were there he couldn't allow a woman to spend the night because they are staunch Catholics and did not believe in sex for anything other than procreation. He mentioned that it sucked in that aspect, but felt someone should be there and he was the only single one of the children. So, yes, I have known men who lived with their parents, but I wouldn't have dated either one of them in their situations. Keep your eyes open for any other red flags, but he sounds like a better guy than those I know.
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