will_d Posted December 26, 2006 Posted December 26, 2006 Hi guys, I met a girl a few months ago through a friend. Since then we have spent time together and have got on fantastically. She had been in a serious relationship for 3yrs, which had ended 3 months or so before she met me. I am one of those people that likes to know where they stand (having been hurt badly in the past) so after a while I asked if she was happy for things to gradually get more serious between us. Of course she said that she really liked spending time with me and wanted to carry on with the way that things were. However she didn’t want to think of having a relationship as she wanted to stay single so that her options are left open for when she finishes uni (she's in her last year) and because she wasn't ready for a relationship. I've left uni this year and have just started my first major job so I am already settled for the next year or so I guess. Something different to how she feels for sure, as she doesn't know what she wants to do. Since we have had that conversation we have still spent time together and I’ve kept the idea that nothing will happen. Although I would be lying if I said that I didn't feel anything for her, I have tried to stop it becoming strong so that I don't get hurt badly. However just before Christmas we went out on a night out again. When we got back to her place one thing lead to another and we were about to have sex when I could tell that something wasn't right. I asked her if she was happy to (given that we were already in her bed at this point) and she said that it didn’t feel right mentally, but physically she wanted to. Something to do with intimacy that she couldn't explain. I said that she shouldn't apologise and not to worry. We spent the next day together, which was great, but she still couldn't explain it. However given that we had slept together a few times before, that I felt intimate with her, and we had talked so much about things that were personal I must admit that I don't understand. Nor do I understand why she said she couldn't explain. She txt me later that night to say that she was sorry, it had nothing to do with me and she looked forward to seeing me in the new year. I sent her a txt on Christmas day saying that I hoped that she would have a good day and got no reply. Later on in the evening she appeared to be online and I said hi, she didn’t reply and her msn sign went back to offline. Since then we have both been online today and she didn’t try to talk and neither have I. I guess after this long piece of text, which I am sorry that you have to read, I just want answers: 1) What happened that night and why couldn’t she explain or didn’t want to tell me? 2) How we could have got to the point where we were in her bed and for her not to say anything even though she has not been scared to speak her mind in the past? 3) Is she ignoring me and this is it for us spending time together 4) Am I over thinking things like I have done before? I know deep down that we could not be together (even though I will always want to while I still see her) but I still want to spend time with her. I just don't know why she acted like this that night, and then everything appeared fine but she hasn't replied to me recently. Any help would be gratefully received. Will
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