riogirl Posted December 25, 2006 Posted December 25, 2006 So my bf of almost three yrs broke up with me last week, it was sort of mutual, but he definately did the breaking up. I have spent the last week looking back on our relationship and I have started to become angry at the whole situation. Here is some background real quick and when the problems started to arise. He and I dated last distance for the first two years and things were pretty good. Then this past summer he moved to where I live (which is also where he grew up and his whole family is). This is really when the real problems started. Basically his friends here, that he has known since birth, are extremely rude and disrepectful to everyone. Some good examples are 1) they will yell at women walking down the street or from their car windows and call them "whores", "sluts" and a plethora of other things depending on what they are wearing. 2) when there would be a party at someones house the topic of how awful women were would always seem to come up and again derogatory remarks would be used. My bf would never say anything like this, but he would always talk about how much he admired some of these people, and would NEVER stick up for me. His excuse was always that they were not talking about me, but I am a woman so YES they were talking about me. So this always came up arguments that we had, and he always said that I was just offended to easily. And not that this was the only thing that we fought about, but it definately was a big part of why we broke up. So basically my question is was I in the right? Should the fact that his friends were so disrespectful really have been such a big deal to me. He always made me feel like I was in the wrong for feeling this way. And no women werent the only group they singled out.
theplastickid Posted December 25, 2006 Posted December 25, 2006 talk to him give him some time to break this bad habbit, he probably just got caught up in the **** his friends were doing deep down this is probably not what he is like inside.
Author riogirl Posted December 25, 2006 Author Posted December 25, 2006 Well we started talking about it about 9 months ago, and there would be a difference for about a week and then we would be back to where we were and then we we would talk about it again, and the cycle would continue. I guess why I am asking about this is that he wants to get back together now and I just don't know.
theplastickid Posted December 25, 2006 Posted December 25, 2006 everyone deserves a second chance in life. Think about what you could be throwing away before you let stubboness get the better of you.
Author riogirl Posted December 25, 2006 Author Posted December 25, 2006 Your right in that respect, he is an amazing person in many other respects. It just seems like we never really resolve this fight and I don't want to keep having it. (When he sees anything that look like a fight coming he will often times just leave and we never really resolve anything.)
theplastickid Posted December 25, 2006 Posted December 25, 2006 yeah lots of people do that. perhaps you just need to give him some time a week or so to really realise that he needs to sort it out. But dont all out leave him, thats what my girlfriend did to me and i didn't really even do anything wrong. Life is far too short to play mind games and stuff, if you love him tell him straight up and settle things like adults.
Author riogirl Posted December 25, 2006 Author Posted December 25, 2006 I agree with you in the fact that that is how it should be done, but I was willing to talk it out last week, but he said it was just best if we just became friends and didnt speak for awhile and now a week later he is ready to talk it out and I just feel a bit hurt that we couldnt just do that in the first place.
theplastickid Posted December 25, 2006 Posted December 25, 2006 i am in exactally the same boat. if my ex gf came back to me in a week or 2 and said the same, i would be very very hesitant. make sure he acknowlages how much he hurt you, even if the split was for the good. People in relationships must know how much they are hurting their partner when they do something like this. If he has remorse for breaking it off with you make sure it is sincear and like i say about everything forgive and turn the other cheek. My ex could break my heart a million times over and i would forgive her everytime. 99% of people would call me a sucker but to forgive is a far better way to live. Like my mother always told me "2 wrongs don't make a right".
theplastickid Posted December 25, 2006 Posted December 25, 2006 Do you have MSN messenger? I'd chat to you on there if you like...
Author riogirl Posted December 25, 2006 Author Posted December 25, 2006 I would love to chat on MSN, will you be around sometime on Wed, as I have to go to work right now and will not be back until then.
theplastickid Posted December 25, 2006 Posted December 25, 2006 yeah i'm off all over x-mas and kinda just sitting on the computer depressed about my ex addy is: [email protected]
Author riogirl Posted December 25, 2006 Author Posted December 25, 2006 Sounds good, I should be home around this time on Wednesday, maybe a little bit later. I will talk to you then. I will e-mail you my MSN address right now.
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