Author Mollyanna Posted January 3, 2007 Author Posted January 3, 2007 find out my ex was spending NYE with the girl he told me he wanted nothing to do with = really nasty text messages from me.
Teacher's Pet Posted January 3, 2007 Posted January 3, 2007 Yikes.... Yeah...I think the 3 of us need a NYE together. By then, my place should be all spiffy.... Party at my place!! Maybe a pajama party and a pillowfight? -tp just one of the girls
Author Mollyanna Posted January 6, 2007 Author Posted January 6, 2007 how do i stop being so angry now? I am done crying over him, but now all I do is obsess over stuff and eventually blow up and send him a nasty text message. Here is last night's message to which he replied that he will always care about me... "i wake up angry and I go to bed angry. i'm pissed because I believed you wanted to change your life, but you just want to be a player, a partier, an addict. You won't even try to help yourself. Take another pill, smoke another bowl, have another drink, **** another girl. Reel in all the bad and push away anything good that happens to you. You are burying yourself. I feel CHEAP. i feel disgusting and dirty. i wonder what number I was and how many more you have to **** before you start to like yourself."
Teacher's Pet Posted January 6, 2007 Posted January 6, 2007 You have to stop blaming yourself for his problems. You have gone way beyond the call of duty for him. You've been everything a guy could possibly want, and MORE for him. You've been friend/lover/therapist to him, and he keeps disrespecting that. You need to go back to total NC with him. He needs to find his own wake up call. When he stops hearing from you, he'll KNOW what he's missing. No matter how many drugs he does, or how many women he nails, nothing will replace what you've given him. You've given him the chance to see beyond all of that, and see that he CAN be happy...with OR without you. It seems like either way, he's lost in his own unhealthy environment. PLEASE, PLEASE, *PLEASE* don't get sucked back into it. You have too much going for you as a person, as a friend, as a WOMAN. -tp always your SB
Author Mollyanna Posted January 7, 2007 Author Posted January 7, 2007 So last night I say all that nasty stuff and today become upset again instead of angry. I become sad and reflective and write to him to say "You don't even care, do you?" To which he responds, "ALWAYS WILL." so a few hours go by and I am lonely and I see the Cowboys are on (his fav team. normally i would be there watching with him every game.) I write and say "Good Luck". I tune into the last 3 minutes of the game, just in time to watch them challenging the first down and I write to him "holding my breath". And throughout the rest of the game we are writing back and forth. I am smiling and happy, forgetting that I told him a couple of days ago that I couldn't be his friend. The game is over and I try to call him to talk to him about the unbelievably crappy ending. he doesn't answer. i write and ask why. he says he is going to bed. Instantly i become the jealous ex-girlfriend who was fighting with him last night. I write "With who". He says "BY MYSELF !!" i wrote a couple more texts saying "I'm sorry but this is the best i can do right now" and "I'm still really pissed at you, but I miss you." no response the remainder of the night. Why am I doing this to either one of us? I don't want to be with a whore. By flirting with him now it is like he knows he gets away with it. He knows he can get me back. which even I am not sure about yet. But maybe he won't even want me back. Why is he even talking to me after all the mean stuff I said (even though it was true, it was hurtful) i'm rambling I know, but if i don't write to ya'll, i will end up writing to him. or looking up his phone records again. (bad mistake putting us on a family plan). i'm crumbling. losing sanity. obsessing. i bet i have checked the online cell phone record page at least 15 times today. Must stop.
Author Mollyanna Posted January 7, 2007 Author Posted January 7, 2007 what the hell is wrong with me? All I have gotten on the cingular page for the last hour is: Temporarily Unavailable The server you're attempting to contact is temporarily unavailable. Please try again later. We apologize for the inconvenience. but even that doesn't stop me. I find other threads to read to make myself miserable and check back at cingular every 15 minutes. knowing it is a sickness... please someone make me go to bed.
Teacher's Pet Posted January 7, 2007 Posted January 7, 2007 please someone make me go to bed. *makes a trail of rose petals up to his bed.... puts on some Barry White and dims the lights, putting a box of condoms and a tube of...* Oh wait... You probably meant your OWN bed. -tp i tried!
Ariadne Posted January 7, 2007 Posted January 7, 2007 but even that doesn't stop me. I find other threads to read to make myself miserable and check back at cingular every 15 minutes. knowing it is a sickness.. Boy you are really going crazy. I don´t think you are going to last for a whole 3 months in that sugar mountain... maybe like 3 days Ariadne
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