Splodge Posted December 23, 2006 Posted December 23, 2006 Hi guys, I'm looking for some advice following on from my recent thread about a girl who likes me but has a boyfriend. In a nutshell - I like her, she likes me, but she has been seeing a guy for about 3 months. I have been told that she is just with this guy for some fun and is actually waiting for me to make a move and ask her out... this is a mutual friends opinion. I've decided that I need to find out about how serious she is with this guy and if I get a positive reply I will then ask her out. Anyway, I've no idea how to approach this? Does anyone have any advice as to how I will go about asking her how serious the relationship is with her "boyfriend"? And how I could interpret the possibilities of her reply? Many thanks.
johan Posted December 24, 2006 Posted December 24, 2006 If you're comfortable talking to her and kidding around a little bit, just tell her you'd ask her out if she didn't have a boyfriend. If she'll really trade up for you then she'll do the rest. If she doesn't really want to or doesn't have the courage to, then that's how it goes. In general, I think it's not smart to pursue another guy's girl.
Charisma Posted December 24, 2006 Posted December 24, 2006 I couldn't agree more with Johan. It's not wise to approach another guy's girl...just imagine if you were in his shoes...not very nice.
Author Splodge Posted December 24, 2006 Author Posted December 24, 2006 I totally agree with you guys about stealing someone elses girl, but I think this is a little different. I don't feel they are serious, thats why I want to find out. If I asked her and she told me they are serious and she thinks it's going somewhere, then I would leave it at that. But I feel she is "making do" with him and is waiting for me to ask her out. This is why I need to find out before I actually ask her out. I just don't know how to put the questions to her...?
norajane Posted December 24, 2006 Posted December 24, 2006 If I asked her and she told me they are serious and she thinks it's going somewhere, then I would leave it at that. But I feel she is "making do" with him and is waiting for me to ask her out. Blending boyfriends, huh? Find a new one before being willing to end it with one that isn't all that great? Careful with girls like that. Never know when she's making do with you and on to her next already.
Grrlish Posted December 25, 2006 Posted December 25, 2006 All attractive girls have boyfriends or someone on the side. They move right from one guy to the next, like she might do with you. They can not stand to be alone for one minute. OMG...that's so funny. Or sad, if that's really what you think is the truth. I'd rather hang with my friends...or alone, for that matter...than date for the hell of it. And I can't stand being suffocated and losing my alone time.
Grrlish Posted December 25, 2006 Posted December 25, 2006 Splodge: I honestly don't mean to offend with this comment but when I read your post, I thought: These people have to be teenagers. In that case, I would have agreed with Johan's advice about kidding around to see if you could get a read on her. I was a bit surprised that your profile says that you're 27. Assuming that this woman is about your age, I'd have to wonder why you would be attracted to a woman who would 'bide her time' with someone? How wimpy, dependent, etc. is that? I'm talking about her, not you. I agree with the other posters who have said that if she'll do it to him, there's a good chance that she'll do it to you. Either way, if you want to take your chances and see if she'll treat you differently, you should leave things alone until she's single. I know that people do this sort of thing all the time but is checking in on another guy's woman really in alignment with your level of integrity? Or the level of integrity with which you want to live your life? And how would you feel if you were in the other guy's shoes? Wait your turn and/or find someone who is available.
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