db1018 Posted December 23, 2006 Posted December 23, 2006 I really would like some advice from everyone, how do you deal when you starting thinking about your SO in my case my H, no divorce papers have been filed yet living with the OW, and all the time that he spends with her and doing all the things he does with her that we use to do, sure I could go and find someone else, but I know in my heart it would be for all the wrong reasons, and I could not do that to someone else or myself. It makes me sick that after 18 years (he's 36 and I'm 37) that he decided that she was more important to him then me and my feelings, he left Sept 22 and starting seeing her Oct 10, was moved in with her by the end of Oct. I guess one of the things that makes me feel better about all of this is that she is in her 40's, not that there is anything wrong with being 40 something, but better then her being 30, you know what I mean. She has never been married and has not kids. We have 2 together 11 and 4. Just to add he decided after he left all these problems that we had, that he never bothered to mention before, I'm sure it's his way of making himself sleep better at night, also he has never had on face to face conversation with me since he left, email, phone, or txt msg. He has been saying since Oct that he is filing for divorce but has yet to do so. I will probably by the end of Jan if he does not. Do you think maybe part of my problem is that I have no closure, what ever that means..
LakesideDream Posted December 24, 2006 Posted December 24, 2006 Sorry you are facing saddness during the holidays. It's bad anytime, worse during the "festivities". There isn't much left for you to do. Your H is already gone and shacked up, leaving you to mind the home and kids. There isn't a clearer way for him to display his intentions, and lack of couth. Probably best for you to move on. As hard as doing it will be, it's best to begin as soon as you reasonably can. Try to provide for the kids, and leave the cruddud to his own resources. Good luck, and good thoughts to you.
Trialbyfire Posted December 24, 2006 Posted December 24, 2006 Better that he do this rather than cheat on you. You have far more closure this way. Btw, make sure you do file the divorce papers for abandonment. If he decides not to pay his share of child support, at least you have legal grounds to stand on.
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