bri28 Posted December 23, 2006 Posted December 23, 2006 i met this girl a little over a year ago and we quickly became friends. now we are bestfriends and we both feel as if we have known eachother forever! the one catch is that i have developed feelings for her. I have fallen in love before, but the feelings with this girl have been going on for about a year now and have not subsided. Every time I see her I become more and more in love with her. So here is my problem: I know she loves me... but just as a friend; and yes she has said "your like a brother to me" which although is quite funny, is also a kick in the teeth. When we spend time together we both have a great time and we get on really well, in fact there are few girls with whom I get along with so well. She tells me of other relationships she has had and how she has the problem of always going for idiots who she ends up hating, as a result of this I ask myself why she doesnt go for me. we feel totally comfortable in eachothers company, so im sure that if we did go into a relationship it would work out perfectly. A couple of people even thought we had something going on, and one said that she thought she was my girlfriend! I remember telling her a while ago that I did fancy her a bit but she said she noticed but didnt feel the same way and didnt want to ruin what we already have. In that same conversation I remember her saying to me that my problem is that im too nice, which I think may be code for something! nothing really changed after that: no awkward moments or anything, we just went on as normal, which I think is a healthy sign. I remember a week ago she came to stay at my place ad we just spent the whole day doing nothing but talking about nothing. we were totally in sync with eachother. since I've already mentioned it once, I dont want to be overly persistant and tell her of how I feel (I get the feeling that she may have picked up on it but chooses to ignore it and let it pass). I dont want to put at risk what we have already, but I have never felt this way towards somebody so strongly before and I dont think it will pass, if her feeling towards me do change (by any stroke of luck) how would I know? is there anything I can do to change the way she feels about me, to convince her that we are right for eachother without pushing it?
Love Hurts Posted December 23, 2006 Posted December 23, 2006 The untold beauty of this……….if she did fall for you. You two would have a pretty solid foundation of knowledge. Knowing one another is having a lot more to build a relationship on..you would have more than most couples start out with… as we know relationships take time. In short if launched into love…… You two could very possibly make it for the long term. As for Now..... I wouldn’t mention it again. Let it go. She feels for you like a brother. That is not what you want… but it’s where she is. You will hear so many truths and see the depth of her while she visions you as she does. She is comfortable and trusts you. When things go wrong you are her shoulder to cry on. As her friend you can not get any closer than the compliment of brother. You have a great friendship and can stay together for a lifetime as friends____ If you don’t cross that line. One day if she finds herself suddenly falling for you as a potential bf then she chose you. Other than that let it go. What you have is fabulous you make each other happy and confide and trust in one another. Enjoy your many gifts together. Have a Merry Christmas
Author bri28 Posted December 24, 2006 Author Posted December 24, 2006 you say "let it go" but how do you let go of love? especially when you have loved that person for about a yr...i didnt ask to fall for her..and if i could change my feelings then i would it would make it so much easier...im living a lie....and this lie is tareing my apart. so how do i just let go?
blue16 Posted December 27, 2006 Posted December 27, 2006 you say "let it go" but how do you let go of love? especially when you have loved that person for about a yr...i didnt ask to fall for her..and if i could change my feelings then i would it would make it so much easier...im living a lie....and this lie is tareing my apart. so how do i just let go? You let go by moving on. This whole friendship is a facade - you're being with her because you secretly hope that one day she will think of you as more than a friend. Let's analyze what she's said... - she thinks of you as a brother - you said you 'fancied her' and she said she didn't feel the same way - she says the friendship is more important - she treats you like she would a girlfriend (hanging out, talking about problems/relationships etc with no physical intimacy) CUT HER OUT OF YOUR LIFE. How are you gonna feel when she meets some guy and suddenly you're left in the dust? Your feelings aren't just gonna die down if u continue to see her. And hey...if you move on she might realize that she has feelings for u (doubtful) and at the very worst, you'll have a chance to get over her and meet someone else
vanessabg Posted December 27, 2006 Posted December 27, 2006 I think there will be nothing wrong if you express your feeling to her . She will never mind if you say her that you love her but these are my own thoughts .
Guest Posted December 27, 2006 Posted December 27, 2006 are u kidding? if i tell her one more time how i feel, she'll puke btw, i don't care how things happened or why i only care about what she feels like and what will make her life better - the rest is only important if she needs to fill in the blanks
The Truthiness Posted January 9, 2007 Posted January 9, 2007 This happened to me once, so here's my advice: Do what these guys are telling you to do. The only way you will have a chance with her is if you stop being her friend. She sees you as her cute cuddly teddy bear. You don't go from that to boyfriend. I fell for a girl that I was friends with, told her, and nothing happened. That is, until I told her I really don't have time for her in my busy life anymore, and started dating someone else. If she's attracted to you, she won't realize it until you aren't around anymore. Give it a few weeks if she has any interest at all she will call you. Don't answer. She'll come visit. Blow her off. Eventually she'll either stop calling or profess her love for you. Either way, it's a win-win. Trust me.
Recommended Posts