No list for christmas.

[Walk]

My bf just let me know that he's pretty upset with me right now. He's mad because I haven't given him a specific list of things i want for christmas. Well, I did.. he just didn't like it 'cause it was note books and stuff for classes. But it's stuff I need, and want, and I'm having a hard time coming up with anything else... at least, not something I would use that often.

 

I'm just kind of confused now. A bit irritated. Feeling a little taken for granted, and slightly unappreciated. All rolled up into one.

 

He suggested last weekend that we go to the store and pick out the gifts each of us want, and then that way we'll get exactly what we wanted. And then give one small gift on christmas day. But now he's saying that even though we did that, and I got all the stuff my little heart could want, I should've also come up with other things so that he wouldn't have to work to get me something.

 

Then he says something like how I always do this. How frustrating it is to him. How I always tell him I have everything I need, and that I'm happy, and when he pushes I tell him something lame like notebooks for school.

 

And the kicker... he then says something about how I never do as he asks. How I do a lot of great things like cleaning, and laundry, but how I "arbitrarily decide what I will and won't do" when he asks for something.

 

And I'm thinking, "Ass." Last week I jumped to drive an hour away to help him, cut short breakfast with my parents that I'd had planned all week (since I'd only been there about 15 minutes), because he was having car troubles. Picked him up twice last week to "help him out" Second time was just because he wanted me to.. not related to car problems. What do I get for it?? Chewed ass for not being more decisive about my christmas gifts.

 

Truth be told.. I don't like gifts. I never use them anyway. Then I feel bad. Occasionally something really strikes me and I know it's something I'll always use... or really enjoy, but that's rare. Besides, we're broke.

 

But even at that, I did have a list of 3 things I would like for christmas about three weeks ago, then he devised this whole "go buy the stuff together and exchange a small gift at christmas". So then I got everything I had on the list.. and I couldn't think of anything else. And now he's saying I should've had more ideas prepared for him.

 

I don't know.. you'd think a guy would be happy his gf wasn't materialistic. Guess not.

 

What really irked me though... I spent part of the morning trying to find one of those bar bell packages that includes the weights and bench and stuff. But my bf's a big guy, so a few 5lb weights probalby won't cut it. I'm 120lb and not even five foot tall.. I had a hell of a time getting that ****ing set up into the upstairs spare bedroom. Tore the crap outta my arms. Had to edge it up each individual step, one at a time. Then fell when I got the top step, adn the damn thing slide back down three steps. Took me the longest time to get it up there. Had to stop every 4 steps and rest, my arms were shaking so bad I was afraid I'd drop it back down the stairs. Very stupid of me to do. Especially since I crushed three of my vertabrea about 2 years ago and it's always given me problems since then. THis was Heavy. Weights alone were100lbs, and I don't know how much the bench and parts weighed in addition to that. Guy who worked at the store couldn't lift it.

 

But I get chewed out the moment my bf gets home because I'm being "uncooperative".

 

Great.

 

Anyway... Do most of you find it incredibly difficult to buy for your SO? And do you demand a list from them of what they want? Would it make you upset if your SO didn't give you a list? Would you rather have an SO list off a hundred and one expensive things, or someone who hardly wanted anything at all? Am I being "frustrating" and should I make an effort to improve my list giving abilities?

[IpAncA]

Well to solve the whole Christmas gifts thing. Just give him a list of stuff. Just name general things. That should give him something. Even if you don't want it just give the man something to go off of.

 

I don't find it that hard to get him anything. I usually bug him until he tells me and I don't take "I don't know" for an answer.

 

I don't expect him to list a million items but I like to get a general idea as to what he would like. If I can't afford it I let him know off bat.

[Walk]

Actually, I did give him a list as soon as he asked today, but then he launched into his "how frustrating" I am that he's had to ask 3 times.

 

I'm starting to think he just didn't want to put any effort into it. I'm starting to think he's a selfish ass, but then I remember that he is paying all the bills.. so I guess he's not selfish. But dang... sometiems I feel like I'm just a warm body, and I'm doing all this stuff for him, and he's gotta bytch about having to go shopping for me??????????? ugh.

[IpAncA]

You know sometimes men just need a good kick in the pants.

 

He sounds like a very impatient man that needs to know the info when he wants to know it and not later.