forbidenlove Posted December 22, 2006 Posted December 22, 2006 This is harder then I thought It would be..(posted previous thread about MM saying he "loves me") I know deep down that he dosn't "love me" 1) I don't see him as much 2) he dosn't call me that much anymore 3) when i talked with him yesturday he kept making exscuses why he couldn't talk on the phone,or when we did talk, it seemed like he was upset/botherd by something.. We have many days like these.. some days he is sweet,affectionate,calls me just to see how my day is going..then there are those days were it is OBVIOUS that he dosn't give a ****/CARE about me! I feel like the intrest is no longer there on is part.. BUT me: I am hooked,I really CARE about this man,even though i know he is a no-good-for-nothing PIG ! The holidays are hard for me..because we aernt together..he is with his family, and knowing that he is spending it with them is like a slap in my face..reality check .. HE HAS A FAMILY & A WIFE THAT HE SHOULD BE COMMITED TO.. he shouldn't be messing around behind his wifes back and I shouldn't be sleeping with him.. I just want to stay in denial I guess..part of me wants to belive that he "loves me,and one day he will be with JUST ME" Am I just an Idiot?? I should of known better then to fall for a MM..the relationship was doomed from the get-go! I want to end things and start NC but it hasn't been EASY..
movinon05 Posted December 22, 2006 Posted December 22, 2006 It seems pretty apparent to me, and it should be to you, that YOU are not at the top of his list. Believe me, I know what its like. For you his contact is less and I get the feeling he is trying to get himself out of this. You have to try to look at realities here. Come on, are you happy? It doesn't sound like it to me. You have got to know that this is the way its going to be, and most likely worse. Can you live with that? Or do you think you can gather up your bootstraps and want better for yourself. You need to think about you now. You need to want more for yourself and believe that you are deserving of that and that it is possible.
puddleofmud Posted December 22, 2006 Posted December 22, 2006 At this point are you more sexually or emotionally hooked? It would seem you have a fairly firm grip on the emotional aspect, as you admittedly KNOW it will never work out and he is dedicated to his family. You KNOW he is a complete jack ass and loser and this is not what you want for yourself. He has let you know that "if wishes were fishes"... blah, blah, blah... You have done a good job figuring all this out so give yourself some credit. With that said why are you still "hooked"? Could it possibly be that it is because a man was attracted to you? That this has made you feel desirable, beautiful, sexy? That even though this is not love, it brought about those giddy HOT girlhood feelings you have missed for so long? Did it awaken desire as you once felt desire? Did this make you miss and crave those feelings ABOUT being in love? Did it make you feel special to be so desired (not a good way to be desired--but the impact is the same). Maybe you don't really want him anymore than the man in the moon--maybe you just want those feelings. There is nothing wrong with this. Every one wants to be wanted and desired--to feel sexy, to have that kind of connection. This does wax and wane in any relationship. (It would seem that he is pushing those buttons in you where he knows this about you and is taking full advantage.) This is just not the right connection. You don't necessarily have to give these feelings up by letting HIM go. You can use them to find out what it may be that YOU want. Do you want passion, good sex, desire and to be desired? If so then get it! This is all within your grasp and power. You have a husband--can't he be a part of this? Though I do not advocate divorce especially when there are children involved--if you are so unhappy and can't work this out within your marriage w/ counseling, then perhaps it is time for you to be honest within yourself and weigh your options.
redlynne Posted December 23, 2006 Posted December 23, 2006 you sound like you know what is right for you & wrong . its never easy ,but time passes & you look back and you are so over it . but if you stay & do nothing you will continue to stay your life on hold for that little happiness when he does ask about your day ,doesnt it seem hes like that always when you havent been intimate & he wants to 'get together '?
GreenEyedLady Posted December 23, 2006 Posted December 23, 2006 This is harder then I thought It would be..(posted previous thread about MM saying he "loves me") I know deep down that he dosn't "love me" 1) I don't see him as much 2) he dosn't call me that much anymore 3) when i talked with him yesturday he kept making exscuses why he couldn't talk on the phone,or when we did talk, it seemed like he was upset/botherd by something.. We have many days like these.. some days he is sweet,affectionate,calls me just to see how my day is going..then there are those days were it is OBVIOUS that he dosn't give a ****/CARE about me! I feel like the intrest is no longer there on is part.. BUT me: I am hooked,I really CARE about this man,even though i know he is a no-good-for-nothing PIG ! The holidays are hard for me..because we aernt together..he is with his family, and knowing that he is spending it with them is like a slap in my face..reality check .. HE HAS A FAMILY & A WIFE THAT HE SHOULD BE COMMITED TO.. he shouldn't be messing around behind his wifes back and I shouldn't be sleeping with him.. I just want to stay in denial I guess..part of me wants to belive that he "loves me,and one day he will be with JUST ME" Am I just an Idiot?? I should of known better then to fall for a MM..the relationship was doomed from the get-go! I want to end things and start NC but it hasn't been EASY.. It doesn't sound like you are in denial because you are listing everything that you see wrong with the R...You care about this man, but he is not reciprocating...if he is spending less time with you, not calling as much and seeming upset when he does, it sounds like he is ready to let go...I am sorry, I know it's not easy, but you deserve better...it seems like the best thing at this time is to move on...decide it for yourself, because if you don't, it kinda sounds like he will end it...
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