Guest Posted December 22, 2006 Posted December 22, 2006 Well, I was going to end things in late November and felt very powerful and confident about doing so. This was my first time to do this and he knew I was done. But he kept coming over and actually treated me the way that he used to treat me when I first met him and even gave me money. But his wife broke into his email. He was ticked off about it and we went out of town for the day. He kissed me, loved me, and hugged me. He went home and discovered that she had read the emails and added a bit more to the conversation and had her children crying. Naturally, kids cry when their parents are hurting. And what child doesn't love their parents. Even Saddam's kids loved him. But the MM was angry and could not see straight. He literally hated his wife. But when he got home he thought he was going to be POWERFUL and rag on her for being a control-freak. But instead, she pulled the rug out from underneath him by finding the emails that he thought he had erased and then performing in front of their kids. I am sorry but you should never put down the other parent in front of your children. What kind of parent would do that? She knew that she didn't have anything else going for HER but his relationship with his kids and she used it. Well he crumbled and then wrote me an email the next day to say that I was worthless and he didn't love me. And he hasn't spoken to me for two weeks. I have been going up and down with my emotions. I mean, I am so glad to be over this becuase I can cleanse my life from this poison and his spell. But I will miss him. If he had come to me fat, sloppy, stinky, and married, I would have never touched him. But he came to me well dressed, handsome, funny, sexy, and miserably married and wanting a divorce and telling me that I was the best friend he had ever known. I am not moping and am working on "walking out" of the relationship by going to the gym. I also had my blood pressure checked and at one point it was 160/110. And the bottom number is still fairly high. I am only 38 years old. I am now on high blood pressure medication, working out, taking vitamins, trying to sleep all night, consulting with my "real" friends, and taking care of my health. I will be starting counseling next week. Although this type of relationship always seems to be about the wife and the MM and the betrayal, I will say that this is about the OW and how these IMPOSTERS come into our lives and keep us from finding our blessings and abundance! There is a man or woman handpicked for everyone out there. And he was just in my way. NOw that he is GOING from my mind and his marriage and his problems and his ego and his penis are on the way out, I see myself in the mirror. When I first started, I looked horrible, used, and tired...but now, I look very beautiful. I am also noticing all of the other people in the world. So one day last week, I went by his job hoping that he would explain it to me and she was in the parking lot and he walks out with security guard who yelled at me. He completely humiliated me. So I cried and haven't done much this week. But I just wanted to hug him and express to him that it was okay and to know that I do love him and respect him but every attempt has been met with him being completely dirty towards me. So I got all of his pictures, his ring, and some other items and I attached soem STD pamphlets and circled key words that I thought might be of interest and I mailed it to him which should arrive to his home on Saturday. It took me three days to find the guts to stand up for myself. In some ways, I was still protecting him and I found it easier to stand up for him than for me. But my heart was hurting and I mailed it and feel so relieved and powerful. I didn't want to hurt him and would never had hurt him but why am I protecting someone who has harmed me and in the end doesn't care. Now he can get my Christmas present of CLOSURE! The ring is the most significant as it belonged to his father who gave it to him. Rather than sell it on eBay, I returned it. It held a power over me. See, his father cheated on his mother and he remembered watching his father tell his mother that he would leave the woman to stay with his family. In some ways, thsi was his legacy and he needed me to fulfill it. He could never have allowed me to end it, hence the reason for chasing me.....and he could not end it on his own. He could only end as a powerful, triumphant husband and father. It's sad to know that in the end, he just needed someone to walk over. This was my first time and last time to believe that a MM is really legitimate. I don't know if I will ever trust relationships again. And I will get through this christmas and next christmas will be much more pleasant.
puddleofmud Posted December 22, 2006 Posted December 22, 2006 Take good care of yourself as the New Year is right around the corner and you have a wonderful life to pursue! Not one of us is without having learned the hard way so you are not alone! Hugs to you!
whichwayisup Posted December 23, 2006 Posted December 23, 2006 He tried to deny, and he got busted with evidence. End of story and now he's staying with his wife and children. I don't feel sorry for him at all, and neither should you. Grieve, get over him quickly and move on with your life. You're better off even if you don't feel that now, you will be SO happy one day, look back and realize what a waste of time having an affair with your MM was.
whichwayisup Posted December 23, 2006 Posted December 23, 2006 This was my first time and last time to believe that a MM is really legitimate. I don't know if I will ever trust relationships again. DO not let this ruin any future relationships you have. Most relationships that don't involve married people can be wonderful! So, don't apply what happened to you by having an affair with a MM to any future relationships with a single and available man.
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