sapphire0903 Posted December 22, 2006 Posted December 22, 2006 Hey everyone, I was reading a thread that made me question myself. I am fairly new to the dating world, have signed up with a dating site. I had always had a "boyfriend" or been in a relationship, eventually was married for 13 years that did not work, so dating is new to me. Now, I have not committed to anyone, however I am dating 3 guys. One has been a long time friend just recently divorced, but does not want to be in a "relationship" One is a ex boyfriend that he too does not want to be in a relationship. the last one I just recently met,.......... again..........we have agreed to "date" nothing more, no commitment. All of these guys are great, I enjoy their time, they are far from losers, all work hard, and each of them have different attributes that I enjoy. They all know I am not commited as they are not to me. I have had different opinions about "how to date" ie: meet as many people as you can to increase your dating pool to choose from. I don't feel badly about dating, and not opposed to a long term relationship, but that "right" person has not entered my life yet. So..........What is your definition of "DATING"?
everybody_chill Posted December 22, 2006 Posted December 22, 2006 If you continue to date 3 guys at the same time then you will never find the right one. I personally would not date a woman who was dating 3 people at the same time. So there's at least one great guy that wouldn't date you because of that. Are there more? My definition of dating is providing an opportuity for something to develop. In other words, making the time and clearing your mind to provide an fair opportunity to see if it turns into something more. In my opinion, if you see dating as less than that then it's a waste of my time. A woman who dates more than one guy simultaneously has "attention whore" and drama written all over it. I am sure you are hurting from your marriage, but you are allowing that to skew your perception of things right now. Not having that person there is a big change but you must realize that some change is good and necessary.
dropdeadlegs Posted December 22, 2006 Posted December 22, 2006 I don't see anything wrong with dating 3 guys as long as you aren't sleeping with 3 guys. To me dating is just going out and enjoying someone's company. I usually date with the idea of determining if I want a relationship with that person and when I determine I don't I stop dating them. To me its a means to an end, but if everyone is on the same page and nobody expects exclusivity, that IS dating in my definition of the word. Dating 1 man is a relationship. Not everybody wants to get married, but some people still enjoy the company of the opposite sex. Have fun!
Author sapphire0903 Posted December 22, 2006 Author Posted December 22, 2006 Really, not hurting at all from end of my marriage....in fact it was like a HUGE weight lifted off of my shoulder. Thanks for your opinions Just Chill, it is good to get more opinions from the opposite sex. One guy that I know tells me "don't put all your eggs in one basket"......so everyone is different A far at "attention whore"........not at all, in fact I despise drama........and really there is none in my life, I am not really juggeling men, as none of them wish to see me exclusively, and most times I see each of them once or twice per month. I have a life other than dating...............a very full one actually
norajane Posted December 22, 2006 Posted December 22, 2006 There's a lot wrong with it in my book. How can you look at each guy objectively when you a messing with 2 others? Do you have that kind of time? Any woman who dates 3 guys needs major attention. RUN AWAY! Think, people, think! But if all three guys have no desire to have a relationship, what does it matter if she happens to be going out with them? Why would they care even if she were sleeping with them, since they don't want a full time relationship?
Author sapphire0903 Posted December 22, 2006 Author Posted December 22, 2006 Nora Jane, I agree with you, if one of them was wanting a relationship it would be different. I don't know if I want one or not. I think as long as you are honest to yourself and others,and both parties are on the same page..........that is dating. If one was looking only for a relationship, I can understand someones point of view, that they don't want to see someone who is dating. I think it may be too much of a threat to the ego if there is competition, and also too much work.
distant_nebulae Posted December 22, 2006 Posted December 22, 2006 Dating 1 man is a relationship. If that's the case then I have been in over 50 relationships.
Guest Posted December 22, 2006 Posted December 22, 2006 Is it possible that you are not really that into the 3 guys? After going through rough time, you may not want to open up the door yet to anyone? No guy is perfect as much as I am not. I had a moment that I was dating multiple guys. I enjoyed many of them and continued seeing them as non-exclusive manner... But, I met this one guy the other day. I cannot explain, but I really like him. Now, I found myself not interested in the other guys.... Definition of dating could be exclusive or non-exclusive (as long as both parties agree with the idea). Dating can be simply for fun or a way to develop something. The mutiple guys for me was for fun (short-run), but the guy I just met for few hours is not. I am hoping something will develop between us. We do not need to decide the definition. Our heart will speak when you meet the guy you really really like.
dropdeadlegs Posted December 23, 2006 Posted December 23, 2006 Any woman who dates 3 guys needs major attention. Well, I don't ever speak for everybody but I admit I like attention. I'm not high maintenance in that department, but what's wrong with liking attention? I don't mean drama or psychosis, just like to be thought of often. So what's the difference between a date and hanging out with a friend? The difference is that when hanging out with a friend I pay for myself. When on a date I assume he is paying. I'm sure you will have a major problem with that statement too, go ahead and slam it. For the record, I have never actually dated three men. I haven't even dated all that much. I tend to try one on for size and immediately discard as "not my style" or buy the whole package and keep it for about a decade. That's my track record anyway.
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