IpAncA Posted December 22, 2006 Posted December 22, 2006 I'm not referring to the jerk keeping her for the long run, especially since the original poster considers himself a nice guy with a good job. Okay sorry.
Moose Posted December 22, 2006 Posted December 22, 2006 Glad to be of assistance. I take Visa, MC, Amex, Discover... And this is testimony to the fact that the so-called 'nice guys' actually ARE the winners in the end. They are the guys who have the most to offer therefore they get the best 'chicks' who also have the most to offer. I'll second that as this is my testimony as well!
Author everybody_chill Posted December 22, 2006 Author Posted December 22, 2006 I'll second that as this is my testimony as well! If that is true then it has yet to materialize AT ALL in my life. Not even close.
Moose Posted December 22, 2006 Posted December 22, 2006 Stop looking. It'll happen when you're not expecting it to.
westernxer Posted December 22, 2006 Posted December 22, 2006 Here is what this girl's description reads... "Someone with similar interests. I'm pretty laid back so I would also like to meet someone who is also. Someone who has set goals in life and knows what they want. I'm pretty much up for anything. Loyalty and Honesty is a must. If you dont have those qualities then dont bother. I'm not into playing games." I feel like vomiting You should. Online dating is full of bad fruit. I know just from browsing the ads on Craigslist. Everything this girl wrote is a red flag. LOL
SmoochieFace Posted December 22, 2006 Posted December 22, 2006 I think this is a lie because 90% of the women I have dated had some sort of piece on the side when we met. Now you can label it what you want, but they fall into the same category in my book. I don't think I am that special so I am assuming this is true for the majority. It's not a lie. You didn't say 100%. I'd say the percentage is lower than the 90% you mentioned. Every woman I have 'dated' didn't have any 'sort of piece on the side' with the exception of the married one... and her hubby was a lousy piece. That's why she was balling me.
SmoochieFace Posted December 22, 2006 Posted December 22, 2006 Stop looking. It'll happen when you're not expecting it to. Yes, most definitely. Those who obsess over not having someone actually give off a 'vibe' that repels people. The best thing to do is simply live your life. Things seem to have a funny way of falling into place when people just let them happen.
westernxer Posted December 22, 2006 Posted December 22, 2006 Okay sorry. No sweat... it's nice to have a discussion that forces us to think about things. Rock and roll!
Author everybody_chill Posted December 22, 2006 Author Posted December 22, 2006 Yes, most definitely. Those who obsess over not having someone actually give off a 'vibe' that repels people. The best thing to do is simply live your life. Things seem to have a funny way of falling into place when people just let them happen. Oh, please give me another cliche! Stop looking? Have you ever found anything worth having without some effort? Such another silly cliche. So what if i give off a vibe that I want to find someone? If that's so bad then screw all women.
westernxer Posted December 22, 2006 Posted December 22, 2006 Oh, please give me another cliche! Moments plenty, moments stained nothing ventured, nothing gained.
westernxer Posted December 22, 2006 Posted December 22, 2006 OMG I think you just quoted George W. That's even scarier than my date last night. Oh, I didn't even realize it. Maybe that's why I scratched it... some sort of subconscious disturbance, perhaps. LOL
Guest Posted December 22, 2006 Posted December 22, 2006 Here is what this girl's description reads... "Someone with similar interests. I'm pretty laid back so I would also like to meet someone who is also. Someone who has set goals in life and knows what they want. I'm pretty much up for anything. Loyalty and Honesty is a must. If you dont have those qualities then dont bother. I'm not into playing games." I feel like vomiting You should. Online dating is full of bad fruit. I know just from browsing the ads on Craigslist. Everything this girl wrote is a red flag. LOL Her profile sounds totally bland to me - which I agree, is a big old red flag. Choose more wisely, is my advice. Like, try to date someone with an actual personality. For example, someone who writes something original instead of a mishmash of boring platitudes cobbled together from every other profile on the web. I also like the unintentional funny of "someone who knows what they want" and "I'm pretty much up for anything". Hahahahaha.
westernxer Posted December 22, 2006 Posted December 22, 2006 Choose more wisely, is my advice. Like, try to date someone with an actual personality. For example, someone who writes something original instead of a mishmash of boring platitudes cobbled together from every other profile on the web. I also like the unintentional funny of "someone who knows what they want" and "I'm pretty much up for anything". Hahahahaha. Check out these ads... http://losangeles.craigslist.org/w4m/?displayMode=printFriendly Some are truly horrific. Online dating... what else can I say?
StayClose Posted December 22, 2006 Posted December 22, 2006 Stop looking. It'll happen when you're not expecting it to. I've never met anyone while I was at home by myself watching a DVD from Netflix.
IWalkAlone Posted December 22, 2006 Posted December 22, 2006 Glad to be of assistance. I take Visa, MC, Amex, Discover... And this is testimony to the fact that the so-called 'nice guys' actually ARE the winners in the end. They are the guys who have the most to offer therefore they get the best 'chicks' who also have the most to offer. I disagree. Whether or not a guy is "nice" (polite and respectful) or a "jerk" (rude, duplicitious or clueless) has nothing to do with success with women, at least in the short term. The whole "nice guys vrs jerks" thing is misleading. If you look at men in happy LTR's many of them ARE "nice." But when a nice guy who has trouble attracting women sees jerks with girlfriends, it appears than women prefe the jerks. In reality, being a nice guy or a jerk has nothing to do with initial attraction. What is important are the qualities that trigger romantic/sexual feelings in women. A man must have one of three things going for him: 1) Looks 2) Charisma 3) Money If he's strong in any one of the areas, he can be weak in the others and still do OK. If he's very strong in two of the areas, he can be complely lacking in the third and lots of women will still go after him. If he's strong in all three, he'll only sleep along when he wants to. If he's weak in all three, he'll have a very rough time in dating.
CarolAnne Posted December 22, 2006 Posted December 22, 2006 WesternX is right everything in here is a red flag, also what are your criteria when you choose and could it be that you keep choosing the ones who are the bad apples? "Someone with similar interests. I'm pretty laid back so I would also like to meet someone who is also. Someone who has set goals in life and knows what they want. I'm pretty much up for anything. Loyalty and Honesty is a must. If you dont have those qualities then dont bother. I'm not into playing games." **"Someone who knows what they want" "A must" "If you don't have those qualities then dont bother"** Would you ever write something like this about yourself - it says this person will immediately judge and immediately dump someone who doesn't measure up. That's the biggest red flag of all. There is no attempt to even be understanding or patient so if you take her to several bars where nothing is happening she's just going to take it on face value that your date sucks and dump your ass. This is not someone into giving ppl a chance, but that was to be expected based on what she wrote. The thing about online dating is that ppl write only a tiny bit about themselves, and write the bits that put them in the best possible light, so see if you can get into the mindset of the person writing it by what they do write as well as don't. This probably isn't the entire ad but for example there is nothing on here that even remotely indicates consideration, listening, or an open mind. Now, one would think a woman would be smart enough to REALIZE who has future potential.Guys do appreciate smart women!
alphamale Posted December 22, 2006 Posted December 22, 2006 Most of this is because I am young too of course. ahh...that explains everything...thanks
Guest Posted December 23, 2006 Posted December 23, 2006 1st off im sorry for what happned to you..But belive me its not always women who do this..I had met a guy off line once..He seamed nice and decent so we decided to go out ok..So he pickes me up in his car because I myself dont drive..We go to a publick place and I have to use the ladys room..When I came back he was poof gone..Basickly he took off and stranded me a good maney miles away from home..I had to call for some one to come pick me up..So just goes to show you there are creeps and *holes in bouth sexes..
mental_traveller Posted December 23, 2006 Posted December 23, 2006 The problem is that I have encountered many, many inconsiderate women. I am seriously contemplating never dating again, there just seems to be no point. I am usually much happier when there is no woman in my life, because who wants something like this? I am tired of this people! I work hard to get what I have and to be a good person and this is the thanks I get! You know what your problem is? You are looking too hard for a woman. You are dating. Instead, just encounter women. Don't think of an encounter as a a date, or possible relationship material, don't think of women as your next potential partner. Instead, just meet them for the hell of it, have some fun, and have no expectations. Eventually you will meet someone who really sets you off, doesn't bullsh*t you or play games. Meeting women is a bit like going shopping. If you go shopping specifically for one thing, then you will get something that broadly fits that category, that meets say 70-80% of what you needed. The trouble with that is you end up with a 70-80% product, not a 99% product. The best way to shop is to just browse with no purchase in mind, browse for its own sake. That way, only something *really special* will actually catch your eye and get you to buy it. Same with women - if you are actively looking, you end up with the 70% women, and those 30% flaws will eventually bite you in the ass. If you don't look at everyone woman through your "dating eyes", then what will happen is you just chug along until wham - you suddenly meet a 90%+ woman. That's how I've always encountered the women that really made an impact on me. It was *never* ones I went looking for on dating sites, nightclubs etc, it was always the ones I encountered whilst not looking for it.
mental_traveller Posted December 23, 2006 Posted December 23, 2006 So I meet this girl on a dating site. She gives me her number so I go to pick her up for drinks. We get to the bar and talk for a while. She tells me I am cute. Five minutes later she tells me "I am not looking for something serious". Then she tells me how she is dating 3 other guys and having casual sex with one. I should have left her right there..... We touched each other casually as we talked. So the club was dead and we wnet somewhere else. That was also dead, so we went to a third place. The mood was kind of chill and we weren't talking much, but listening to live music. Then, she calls her GAY friend and was like "rescue me"!?? So he shows up, I go to the bathroom and comeback, they are gone! Now this has to be about the rudest thing that has ever been done to me. I mean I was bored too, it was in the middle of the week anyway. Just to up and leave like that? That's just wrong. No wonder so many women get beat on, this one deserves it. The sad thing is, the majority of women fall into this behavior. I am seriously comtemplating just being single for the rest of my life. I am dead serious, no dates, etc. There's always too much drama and it never makes my life better so why bother? Totally disagree. She either didn't have a real attraction to you, or she was initially attracted by your looks, but then found you boring or sensed that you were not into the friends with benefits thing (you admitted that put you off and made you want to leave - chances are she picked up on it). So - either she found your looks, your personality, or your attitude unappealing. In any of those cases, what is she supposed to do - waste 4 hours on something that is going nowhere? From the way you tell it, you weren't exactly putting in a huge effort either. I'd say she did you a favour by clearly ending things quickly instead of dragging it out. IMO you were just way too sensitive about this. Most people know within 1 minute if they fancy someone or not. If they don't, then it's a waste of time going further, especially for a casual dating thing.
mental_traveller Posted December 23, 2006 Posted December 23, 2006 Thanks for your input, but I disagree to an extent. Why then do I see young women in relationships with abusers, no education, people in food service industry and dudes with no car? Hey Mr can't get a date, what's wrong with having no car?
SincereOnlineGuy Posted December 24, 2006 Posted December 24, 2006 So I meet this girl on a dating site. She gives me her number so I go to pick her up for drinks. We get to the bar and talk for a while. She tells me I am cute. Five minutes later she tells me "I am not looking for something serious". Then she tells me how she is dating 3 other guys and having casual sex with one. I should have left her right there..... We touched each other casually as we talked. So the club was dead and we wnet somewhere else. That was also dead, so we went to a third place. The mood was kind of chill and we weren't talking much, but listening to live music. Then, she calls her GAY friend and was like "rescue me"!?? So he shows up, I go to the bathroom and comeback, they are gone! Now this has to be about the rudest thing that has ever been done to me. I mean I was bored too, it was in the middle of the week anyway. Just to up and leave like that? That's just wrong. No wonder so many women get beat on, this one deserves it. The sad thing is, the majority of women fall into this behavior. I am seriously comtemplating just being single for the rest of my life. I am dead serious, no dates, etc. There's always too much drama and it never makes my life better so why bother? So wait, a guy who advocates violence against women is miffed at why one particular lady vacated the premises before finding herself alone with him? You surely should have been alerted to her having been put-off by you when she referenced you as "cute" "Cute: attractive especially by means of smallness " Now stop beating on women before you get yourself arrested.
IWalkAlone Posted December 25, 2006 Posted December 25, 2006 Thanks for your input, but I disagree to an extent. Why then do I see young women in relationships with abusers, no education, people in food service industry and dudes with no car? If a guy is very good looking, or if he has a lot of charisma (a.k.a. "charm"), then women will like him even if the things you mention are also true.
lonelybird Posted December 25, 2006 Posted December 25, 2006 but I see you saved lots of headache later on. different people has different headache, maybe she was an very confused girl who don't know what she want yet. and I am sure when a person mistreat the other, in the end he/she won't feel good.
Dano Posted December 25, 2006 Posted December 25, 2006 This reminds me of a thread I started a while back that got deleated very quickly.........(but yours is a lot nicer........ ) ........but anyway, I know what your feeling and I only wish I had an answer for you (or atleast some words of wisdom/encouragement). All I can add to your thread is your not alone and I think this happens to many of us guys. However, I do believe that persistance will pay off in the long run and if you keep trying you'll eventually find what your looking for.....(although I know it ain't easy sometimes)........Man, I know.
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