Guest Posted December 22, 2006 Posted December 22, 2006 So I just recently start dating my boyfriend not even a month ago. He is 22, I am 19. At first he seemed like an AMAZING guy, but as time goes on, his actions are starting to prove a little differently...? For example, one night last week we were drinking at his apartment with his buddy. They were busy watchin TV and playin video games and whatever. I knew they were going to be doing this so I didn't mind being a little left out. However, later on in the night they decided they wanted taco bell, and he asked me to go. I was so drunk, I don't think I should have been driving, even though it was right down the road, and HE knew that! He kept asking me if I was cool to drive... I was like yea whatever. Then I walked out and I heard him say to his friend "I can't believe I'm letting her do this" So I got in my car and sort of started to cry because I was so upset he'd actually let me do that .........and by myself! When I got back I let him know I was a little mad and then passed out in the other room... That SAME night, I had to drive home (a good half hour drive) --I was a lot more sober by then, but still, when I got home he didn't even ask me to call or anythign to let him know?! And he just went to bed. Since I was still kind of drunk I sent him a bitchy text about it (immature on my part, I know). HE didnt respond to it, so I ended up apologizing for it the next day... AND THEN, most recently- last night I got some really really bad news about a family member. I was a wreck all night, bawling. I didn't want to call anyone to burden them with my problems, so I left an away message up online saying it was a bad night and how I've never been so angry in my life, and to call if you wanted. Well, a few hours later I saw he got on, read it and left me a message saying "youre probably sleeping so we'll talk tomorrow" and then sent me a TEXT message, asking if I was ok. When I saw the text I picked up the phone to call him, not 2 minutes later (I really wanted to talk to someone-namely, him) and he didnt pick up?!?! Or return the call?! SO I just sent him a text sort of letting him know what happened, and that I'd talk to him tomorrow. But Why would he not pick up his phone 2 minutes later he sends a text message to me?! If I saw he was really upset, I'd call in a heartbeat, and if he didn't pick up, I'd definitly have the phone near me so I could pick up if he did call!!!!! Sorry this is getting so long. But anyways, these are just a couple examples of him and how his actions are starting to speak louder than words. He says how much he cares about me, heck he's even said I love you to me! Says he's never had a girl make him feel this way, etc etc. So why is he being such a moron when it comes to showing it at times? Or am I over-reacting...?!? Or should I talk to him about this, and if so, how do I go about it?? Advice please & thanks so much!!!
rina_r Posted December 22, 2006 Posted December 22, 2006 So I got in my car and sort of started to cry because I was so upset he'd actually let me do that .........and by myself! !! Dont you have your own head on your shoulders?? You should have refused to drive at all if you were drunk! (instead of getting upset with him)
pennyjosix Posted December 22, 2006 Posted December 22, 2006 Actions do speak louder than words, and frankly his actions are screaming at you that he doesn't care. I agree with guest up there that you can make your own decisions. I see why you would be upset that he would let you do something that could potentially be harmful to yourself, but you didn't HAVE to do anything. Just like you don't HAVE to stay with him now
Walk Posted December 22, 2006 Posted December 22, 2006 I would suggest talking to him before making a decision about dumping him. Although, I'm not sure talking will help. But at least you would've made the effort, and the failure of the relationship will be on his shoulders. Maybe you could start out by asking him something specific.. like why he didn't call you the night you were so upset. And why he didn't return the call after you had called him. Just see what he has to say first. I think a guys natural tendency would be to give you tons of space if you say you don't want to talk. Most guys I've known assume that if you say you don't want to talk.. then you don't. Not you want to talk to them, but are telling them you don't. Just let him air his side of the story and see if you two can find some understanding in the situation. Let him know what you expect from him, ways you would feel appreciated. (Like making sure you made it home okay.) If after discussing it, nothing changes.. then dump him. It won't change. If he isn't open to talking about how you feel, then don't bother trying to make the relationship work. It's a lost cause at that point.
Trialbyfire Posted December 23, 2006 Posted December 23, 2006 Actions do speak louder than words. To have so little concern about sending your drunk g/f out by herself to Taco Bell's and letting her drive home are wake up calls. He strikes me as immature and selfish. As for talking to you, some guys can be very insensitive about supporting you when you need to talk. They perceive it as drama that they don't want to deal with.
InspectHerGadget Posted December 23, 2006 Posted December 23, 2006 People act stupid when they are drunk. 2nd problem if he truly did ignore him makes him a jerkoff
Recommended Posts