guest Posted December 22, 2006 Posted December 22, 2006 Is anyone out there having this problem with their MM/MW? These past few weeks, MM is not contacting me as much - losing interest maybe? Or maybe he is just busy with Holidays? (Wishful thinking) The icing on the cake was last night when he went out with co-workers and never bothered to call to see if I wanted to see him for a quick hello on the way home. Granted he was already late getting home to W...I know if I was out with my co-workers I would set aside a couple of minutes to say hello. I am thinking too hard about this or do guys not think this way. I think I am losing my mind. thanks
whichwayisup Posted December 22, 2006 Posted December 22, 2006 He is married and this time of year is stressful for most. I wouldn't read much into it. Sorry it must be hard on you, but sadly, the reality of your situation is that he IS married and over the holidays is for spending time his wife, family and kids (if he has any). You are over thinking this too much. It's not you, it's the situation itself. I hope someday you are strong enough to end it and walk away so you can find a single man who you can love and not have to share.
Romeo Must Die Posted December 22, 2006 Posted December 22, 2006 Men dont do much during the holidays. The wife does all the planning, decorating and cooking and shopping. Santa doesn't do sh*it. Maybe thats why he is so fat and only goes out once a year. My husband is the type to buy my christmas present the night before. I wouldn't say he was a planner. There were some years I havent gotten anything, but he always buys himself something over 500.00 and thats a given. I am not materialistic by nature, except for one sole posession, my laptop computer. this is my other baby. I'm more the type who would be more happy if I felt that an effort was made to do something nice for me. A sentimental gift... like if he had to make my gift with his own two hands, or if he sold something he cared about to buy a gift for me. If he bought me some accessory for my computer because he knew I loved it so much. Anyway, The first year he was in his affair, he squirreled around getting her and her kids gifts, hiding them and making the effort to keep the two holiday's seperate. Stupid me paid for the OW's kids presents. The second year of the affair, he was telling me he was all alone on Christmas Eve (he was with OW) and Christmas Day, he was with me and trying to get into my pants while still holding onto OW, just in case? The last two Christmas' he has been with me. Hey, you know, if you can figure that out, let me know, lol. I was just wondering if maybe your guy is still burning both ends of the candle. He treats you like **** (any monkey can operate a telephone) but he doesnt break-up with you either and you can't be free. Thats just mean. The key in any R wether you are married to him or not is to get busy making our own plans and if they want to follow, so be it. You are supposed to act cool, and pretend you didnt notice. Silly girl. Play a little more hard to get.
IfWishesWereHorses Posted December 22, 2006 Posted December 22, 2006 Probably busy with the holidays, alot going on. Maybe he's distracted. So many obligations with family and friends maybe its hard to keep everything separate right now. OR maybe there is some new Hottie at the office that's got his attention. I would probably bet though on the difficulty of a season that is SUPPOSED to bring us closer to family and dear friends. Gotta be a hard position to be in.
GreenEyedLady Posted December 22, 2006 Posted December 22, 2006 He CAN do better...How long have you been with him? He sounds like he is being lazy and is taking you for granted...Maybe you shouldn't be that soft place to fall once he gets around to calling you...and this is coming from an OW...If he thinks he might lose you, he might stop being so lazy...
cowgirl6 Posted December 22, 2006 Posted December 22, 2006 I pretty much told him today that I did not appreciate the way he was trating me. He said he was starting to feel "GUILTY" HA!!! Then why did you start this **** in the first place? We both went out looking for this type of relationship and now 3 months later he feels guilty. OBTW..he asked me to fall in love with him and now his wife is treating him nice so he feels guilty and when she treats him like ****...he wants to come back to me. I don't think so. He said he wanted a break because he doesn't want to fail at two relationships (Marriage and ours). I told him I don't do breaks. either he figures out what he wants or this is over. I also told him that I think its better that he has these feelings for his W. Isn't that what we all want? PLEASE am I doing the right thing?
YoMomma Posted December 23, 2006 Posted December 23, 2006 Is anyone out there having this problem with their MM/MW? These past few weeks, MM is not contacting me as much - losing interest maybe? Or maybe he is just busy with Holidays? (Wishful thinking) The icing on the cake was last night when he went out with co-workers and never bothered to call to see if I wanted to see him for a quick hello on the way home. Granted he was already late getting home to W...I know if I was out with my co-workers I would set aside a couple of minutes to say hello. I am thinking too hard about this or do guys not think this way. I think I am losing my mind. thanks Its the Holiday's - he's got to act the part of the good husband, its what cheaters do. Your department is closed in his mind until after New Years, don't worry he'll be back around once life gets boring again at home! Think of it this way, right now he is enjoying his 'canoli', once the holiday is over he'll be happy with just 'cupcakes'!
whichwayisup Posted December 23, 2006 Posted December 23, 2006 Then why did you start this **** in the first place? We both went out looking for this type of relationship and now 3 months later he feels guilty. He has a right to change his mind, even if you don't like it. At first he didn't feel guilty, but now he does. He can't change how he feels and you have to respect that.
GreenEyedLady Posted December 23, 2006 Posted December 23, 2006 Its the Holiday's - he's got to act the part of the good husband, its what cheaters do. Your department is closed in his mind until after New Years, don't worry he'll be back around once life gets boring again at home! Think of it this way, right now he is enjoying his 'canoli', once the holiday is over he'll be happy with just 'cupcakes'! Not everyone's R is like what you describe...if someone treated me like that, he wouldn't have anyone to come back to...as for the rest of your comment, it's pretty apparent that you're trying to start a fight and like to think that you're better than others...
puddleofmud Posted December 23, 2006 Posted December 23, 2006 The point is that he is just not "there" when you want or need him much less is he checking in. Married or not, is that going to cut it with you? It's your call as to what you want and need.
YoMomma Posted December 23, 2006 Posted December 23, 2006 Not everyone's R is like what you describe...if someone treated me like that, he wouldn't have anyone to come back to...as for the rest of your comment, it's pretty apparent that you're trying to start a fight and like to think that you're better than others... Your right, I did sound harsh and I am sorry for that. BUT the truth is men comparmentalize most relationships in thier minds. Apparently he has put her on ignore, albiet temporarily? I am definately not a fighter, just hate to see someone being hurt by another jerk, even if she knows he was married.
lovernotafighter Posted December 23, 2006 Posted December 23, 2006 He CAN do better...How long have you been with him? He sounds like he is being lazy and is taking you for granted...Maybe you shouldn't be that soft place to fall once he gets around to calling you...and this is coming from an OW...If he thinks he might lose you, he might stop being so lazy... yeah I went NC with mine and he went nuts... he wants to be my friend pfft! however he pays me way more attention now he thinks he's loosing me.. do not wait on him..he'll notice.
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